Understanding, sympathy and empathy goes a far way.

Norfolk_Jim

I've had a massive amount of support on here over the years including a lot of sympathy / cry on my shoulder type support and a good measure of firm talking to, kick up the backside ones as well and I appreciate 95% of them. My only criticism would be that there only seems to be one answer in town and it's severe austerity. I tend to believe in severe austerity though it appears sovereign states dont.
I do wish sometimes that our collective minds would come up with amazingly creative solutions for people but severe austerity seems to be the order of the day.
Also, sometimes posters seem to get a bit crabby if their advise is not taken - surely it's better to just give the advise and if the poster takes it, great, if they dont, well its their choice, but sometimes its as if not taking the advise is taken as a personal rebuff.
The best posts I've found are the ones that help desperate people to get it in perspective - the debt collectors are not going to saw off your legs and sell your kids to the local brothel but when the whole world seems to be out to get you, reassurance and perspective are worth far more than all the kicks up the behind no matter how valid - maybe thats what the OP thinks.
Frankly, nothings perfect but I'd rate this board as my top 1 in the UK for people giving up their time to give help and support to others.
Burned people have raw skins and I think sometimes thats overlooked.

Mrs_Arcanum

BlushingRose wrote: »

I, too, haven't seen 'it's your fault' posts...

Perhaps a link to the example would be helpful...

They are definitely about and tend to be very unhelpful to boot. Just reiterating the same old mantra - "You owe the money, so you have to pay it back". Those of us with debt problems KNOW THIS, and most are not trying to get away with not paying. So unhelpful posts like this are really just rubbing salt in the wounds and contribute nothing. I would even go so far as to say they can possibly cause the person to rebury their head in the sand, when they have only just seen the light.

I would add - this tends to happen when people post in the wrong section. The Debt Free Wannabees are a supportive lot where others may not be so.

mrsmccat

A quick visit to the PPI forum may make you feel a bit better - judgemental irrelevant holier-than-thou posts a plenty there!

BlushingRose

mrsmccat wrote: »

A quick visit to the PPI forum may make you feel a bit better - judgemental irrelevant holier-than-thou posts a plenty there!

Oh gosh yes!
I posted there quite early in the year, requesting advice and was told in no uncertain terms that was 'PPl was not a license to spend money' or something similar. Should never have mentioned we were in debt I reckon.

bexiboo92

None of my original post was meant to be offensive; as many of you have pointed out, it's the issue with the internet.

It was merely a 2minute rant!

[Deleted User]

Don't worry chick, it's good to have a rant every now and then
you'll be ok

miketaff1408

I think that sometimes people tend to be a little blunt in their replies, but I think that is what some people need.

Too often you see someone posting that they are in dire straits and see no way of cutting down their expenditure, and when you just even give their SOA a cursory glance you see SKY £80, MOBILE PHONES £100, GROCERIES £500, ENTERTAINMENT £200, CIGARETTES £150. So I guess some people do get a little blunt when it is completely obvious where HUGE cuts can be made to the SOA.

The problem with modern society is that too many people see satellite tv, mobiles and the like as a basic human right and are absolutely impossible to live without!

As a fat-fighter myself, I think too many people come on here with their SOA and expect a magic answer to their debts which does not involve any change to their lifestyle whatsoever, same as many dieters are looking for a weight loss programmed that does not alter their eating habits!

Rudeness in posts should never be acceptable. Good old fashioned home truths and perhaps a little bluntness? - Acceptable in my eyes!

eyeopener2

If you want to be ripped to shreds try posting a debt question on the Loan or Credit Card boards!

This place has it's faults but it has been a godsend to me. Most posters are brilliant however, the odd few are just idiots who will judge people no matter what and talk about the morality of paying back what you owe, and then try and put you on a massive guilt trip. Morality and money went out of the window the day interest was invented, so I have no qualms on that note! Stuff morality and money.

Try not to take any criticism personally but do try and take any advice on board. It is usually good (sometimes wrong) but it all comes from the right place. And that is all you can ask for really.

E2

Barbeduk

Ok, I'm coming to eat humble pie cus I have just read some judgemental posts. **sneaks back out, head bowed**