Understanding, sympathy and empathy goes a far way.

supersavershal

As you can see I have been posting on here for a long time. I joined because I had debt. I have never done my SOA, I had lurked long enough to know where my savings could be made.
Im still in debt, some paid off, quite a bit to go. I am not behind on any of my debts. I chose my path, I chose not to consolidate again but I also chose to keep chipping away slowly.
I could have done it faster, I could have cut back whay more than I did, I still spend on things that are considered frivolous but Im happy with doing it my way, I feel im living and enjoying life. One day Il be debt free (about 5 yrs) but I dont want to kill myself doing it, I think its important to realise we are not all the same, we do it our way and sometimes people do not want to be preached at and told to not go out, dont have sky, make your own christmas presents etc.
Il be debt free and il do it my way, and il never be in debt again and do you know what I hope I do it without anyone ever knowing I had that much debt.

Barbeduk

I have tried 3 replies to this so far, all sound wrong! That is the problem with text. It is completely different to conversation and very open to misinterpretation.

You need to remember that 99% of people are here to help, and offer advice based on their own experiences. It's up to you how you want to take it.

Barbeduk

bexiboo92 wrote: »

I'm seeing too many "well it's your fault" type posts on here.

Sorry, just to add I found this insulting as I read the debt free threads all the time and see very few of these.

So just to emphasise, you have to be careful how you word things.

savingmummy

Barbeduk wrote: »

I have tried 3 replies to this so far, all sound wrong! That is the problem with text. It is completely different to conversation and very open to misinterpretation.

You need to remember that 99% of people are here to help, and offer advice based on their own experiences. It's up to you how you want to take it.

I have to agree totally!

Everyone on here is or was in bad debt, and totally understand anyone who comes here for help.
Hope whatever has bothered you dont stop you posting its good to talk

squidgychesspiece

Barbeduk wrote: »

Sorry, just to add I found this insulting as I read the debt free threads all the time and see very few of these.

So just to emphasise, you have to be careful how you word things.

I have to agree with Barbeduk that I haven't seen many posts of that ilk. Ultimately Bexi there will always be people in life who have a different opinion/outlook to yours and want to share it - that's fine too. Like someone said earlier take the advice you find helpful and run with it.

BlushingRose

I, too, haven't seen 'it's your fault' posts...

Perhaps a link to the example would be helpful...

seriousDFW

I think there's a difference between people being unreasonably unfair or rude (and this does happen from time to time) and people being honest and this being interpreted as being unfair or rude.

bargainbetty

supersavershal wrote: »

One day Il be debt free (about 5 yrs) but I dont want to kill myself doing it, I think its important to realise we are not all the same, we do it our way and sometimes people do not want to be preached at and told to not go out, dont have sky, make your own christmas presents etc.

I agree that everyone needs to find their own route to being DF, but you do find a certain type of poster who wants to keep having/doing everything when they can't pay for it - if advice is asked for, it is given, and those are valid ways of saving money. It's not gospel, and everyone has to take their own path. When you genuinely can't afford it, something has to give and the old refrain of 'It's my only vice' gets short shrift on here! I'm sure that you have saved elsewhere to afford the things that are important to you for quality of life, just like I did.

Personally, I have found less tolerance on here recently - there are more arguments and flame wars than before which is unpleasant to read.

freshstart11

Barbeduk wrote: »

Sorry, just to add I found this insulting as I read the debt free threads all the time and see very few of these.

So just to emphasise, you have to be careful how you word things.

I agree with the OP I see a fair few as well

Takingcontrol_2

Quassi75 wrote: »

I've never smoked in my life. I don't drink, I haven't been on any sort of holiday for over 4 years now. I don't live an expensive lifestyle and have been just living life day by day holding on to things. But all you need is one major thing to derail your life. This happend to me when my Mum passed away very suddenyl and unexpected. These are the sort of things which can make people go belly up so to speak.

So if people want to moan and say it's your fault, they need to understand the reason for someone needing help! As it's now always the person's fault..

Cheers

Totally agree!