So hard choosing a school for my son... HELP!!

alm721

''I don't want my son to be in the well behavied minority and for him to feel that he is under pressure to act BAD or not do well in school to fit it with the rest.''

Personally, I think you've just answered your own question. There will always be people who think you should send your son to the 'best' school and there will always be those who think you should send your son to the local school.
I think only you can make this decision, as ultimatley you have to live with it. I would think carefully about what your values are and what values you want your son to grow up with and then go with whichever school best suits your views. I would however not fall into the trap of just looking at SATS they are highly meaningless and easily manipulated. Some 'good' schools get the results they get because the kids do little else in the run up to SATs, similarly some 'not so good schools' have poorer results beacuse they do not practice for these tests continually. I would much rather listen to parents opinions then looking at results, even ofsted can be relativly easily mislead!
Good Luck

Careful_girl

I work in a multicultural school. I have also worked in church schools, small schools and a private school (all in Reception). I love my school. The children have an excellent education. We have won awards and have good results. It is in a very deprived area. It is soooooo hard though to judge schools. Ofsted can miss huge issues. Results do not reflect how happy the children are or how prepared they are for the world.
I teach mainly bilingual children. This does cause some problems at first, and we ensure our teaching supports them. The monolingual children do not lose out.
I also have to cope with some intersting behavioural challenges. Again in our school we have a fantastic support system for this to ensure all the children achieve the best they can.
None of this is particularly helpful I know. I would suggest you send your child to the local school if you feel your child will be happy. Spend some time in the school if you can. Parental helpers in Reception are very welcome. You could spend some time in the school and get the feel of it. Knowing other children in Reception will be helpful for your child but if you feel the school a bit further away would be better, he will most likely make friends quickly.
One problem a few parents have at our school is the lack of friends coming home for tea and lack of invitations to parties. As birthdays are celebrated in other ways by some of our families, others feel sad when they cannot get many to come to the birthday party or over for tea. This can be a blessing!!!
Talk to other parents as tey are the best judges of how children feel about schools. Just ensure you talk to a range. Try the PTA and parental governors perhaps.
All the very best,
CG.

HappySad

TAG wrote: »

That all sounds a bit as if I'm blowing my own trumpet but the point I'm trying to make is....... that if a child has the capabilites then this will be tapped into and they will be pushed and encouraged all the way. No matter what an ofsted report says.

thanks you Tag for telling me about your situation.. It really helps. Your children love learning and got the best out of their school and therefore did well even though the school did not present itself well on paper.

I have spoken to a friend who has no children and she has pointed out that I am getting very anxious about the whole thing. with talking to her I know that my main concerns are
"distance Vs bullying/attitude or children/parents."

The acedemic side I feel will happen if he is in an environment that is supportive and he get the support from home but if there was a better schoool with good acedmic results .. then that would be the icing on the cake... by the way this school is 25mins walk away as is complete over subscribed so we would have to move to even have a slight chance of getting into that school.. but that is another story.

So with the distance Vs bully/attitude. Is 15mins bus ride local enough for his friends. Is it better to go local 7mins walk were many parent don't behave and most children don't speak english (problem being my child would not be stretched educationally until the non english speaking children catch up over the 3 or so years)

I am going to visit the schools again and ask them about the teaching of children who are more advanced compaired to the majority and see what they would actually do about that in reality....

Yes I have another baby on the way and it would be extra work travelling by bus..

tomstickland

Both "local = good" and "middle class claptrap" are stereotypes that might or might not be true or relevant. Personally I'd make the judgement based on the school's attitude. Do they have standards and expectations or are they limp wristed with regard to discipline, learning standards etc?

mrcow

HappySad wrote: »

I have spoken to a friend who has no children and she has pointed out that I am getting very anxious about the whole thing.

I have to say that I agree with your friend. I've been reading your threads over the past few months and school selection almost seems to be an obsession with you.

I'm personally a great believer in sending your children to the "best" school and if that means that it's not local, then so be it. Bear in mind that "good" schools also have their fair share of disruptive pupils and problems too though.

Go with your gut instincts. If you've visited the schools and had meetings with the head teachers involved, then you'll have a good idea about what the school is all about and what will be expected from your children.

I agree about the PTA too......join up as soon as you can and start getting involved.

Spendless

How do you know about the bullying and how it is handled in the other schools?

I could show you the Ofsted for my kids school and it's fantastic, you could stand with me in the playground any day of the week and I'll point out the mum that thinks it's the greatest school ever, and another who is counting the days till her children leave;) .

tomstickland

Have any of the schools banned "running" or "playing football" at breaktime?

stebiz

mrcow wrote: »

I have to say that I agree with your friend. I've been reading your threads over the past few months and school selection almost seems to be an obsession with you.

I'm personally a great believer in sending your children to the "best" school and if that means that it's not local, then so be it. Bear in mind that "good" schools also have their fair share of disruptive pupils and problems too though.

Go with your gut instincts. If you've visited the schools and had meetings with the head teachers involved, then you'll have a good idea about what the school is all about and what will be expected from your children.

I agree about the PTA too......join up as soon as you can and start getting involved.

I know you didn't mean this to come across harsh but that is the way I read it.

Having 3 great children and 2 going through school at the moment, I live and breath their school life. I have spent months tutoring my eldest and she has just got into our local grammar. Only 120 children were admitted out of about 750. It was hard work. I'll be doing the same for my next daughter. Education doesn't start at 11 though - OP has the right idea in finding a good infant school. If you are in a bad school Teachers spend too much time dealing with naughty kids and not teaching those who want to learn. I don't blame the Teachers - they have no choice. Valuable education is easily lost.

Good luck in making the right decision.

Stebiz

mrcow

stebiz wrote: »

I know you didn't mean this to come across harsh but that is the way I read it.

Which bit was harsh?

If it was about the obsession remark, then I'm afraid that it's true, you only have to take a look at all of the different threads that they've started on the subject.

It is a very important decision, but my post was just trying to point out that she is never going to get the answers from people who don't know the schools in question. She needs to speak to the head teachers involved and send her children to the school that she feels in the BEST imo, and if that means that it's not local, then so be it.

If I had a local school where bullying or bad behavior was a recognised problem, then there is no way that I would send my children there.

Getting involved with the school is important too. Joining the PTA is a great way of doing this.

Well done to your daughter getting into grammar btw. I hope that she enjoys it. My Dad tutored me into grammar school (over twenty years ago) and I took the 11+ to get into a grammar school 20 miles from my home (I was the second person in my school in 11 years to take the 11+ - the first was my sister). It was so the best thing for me even if it did mean a big commute every day.

chmmy

I'm a strong believer in local kids for local schools. There is a huge range when a child gets to reception, and it may turn out that there are a few bright kids there anyway, and that the bright EAL kids will be right up there anyway after a year or so. In reception there will be at the very least 1 teacher and 1 TA, probably more, and your child should be provided for educationally.
Imagine getting home at 3.20pm or 3.35pm(depending on when your school day finishes) compared to maybe 4.00pm (cold winters, day-in-day-out waiting for the bus, 4 times a day for you and a buggy, or maybe up to 6 trips a day if new LO starts half day nursery there). You could spend that 30 mins bus time working with your DS 1-2-1, reading and workbooks at home.
Also if your friends got their kids to the local school too it would make a huge difference.
Good luck, I do understand, but IMO it's home that has a much bigger influence on a child than school, and it sounds like you are doing a great job.