So hard choosing a school for my son... HELP!!

HappySad

I am off loading my worries and concerns about choosing my son's first school.. please comment on any part of my off loading and thanks for reading......


Son will be starting his first school in a year and now I can see how hard it is to choose a school.

With nursery I started very early at least 1 year before other parents did and I looked at the nursrey ofsted, visited the schools, asked around parents and then put my son's name down. So the nursery school I choose my son got because his name was down a year in advance.

Not the same with first school. Ofsted, parents feedback, visit school and I just have to wait with everyone at the same time to find out which school son goes to. So there is no advantage in applying 1-2 years early and you are all in the same boat as those who apply at the last minute.

Choosing schools is very hard when you have not so good schools close to you. I have 2 schools that are not so good. Many pupils not speaking English as first language + parents attitube means that teachers spend a lot of time and effort dealing with this and have very little time for those who are more able & speaking English.

Better schools are available further away (15mins bus or car drive) where parents are better behavied and therefore the pupils are also better behaved. Should I send my son to these school? I am very keen on my son going to a local school because he would make friends with children who live locally and we can then walk to school. the other schools would mean that we drive/bus it.

My son now 3 already has a network of friends and wants to visit them after nursery and we would visit them several times a week at their home. If his school was miles away this would cut down on his ability to easily walk to his friends house (with me walking with him).

I have 3 friends and we are in the same boat choosing schools for your children.. we live close to each other and it is important that our children go to local schools but are not happy with the local ones. So should we apply the the schools further out?

I am repeatedly hearing from parent and teachers that schools main problem are the parents that don't support the teachers with their child's education and behaviour? Is this just something that my area is suffering from or is this a nation wide sort of this?

bluebell13

How are you looking at the schools? Are you looking at league table results or just general reputation?

All schools have different things to offer. I speak as someone who's parents sent me to a private school from 11 to 16. It was not local so I grew up with no friends nearby, and could not join in with after school activities etc. As a result, whilst I had excellent exam results I was lonely and isolated which has caused many problems with confidence in later life.

I have two children of my own. DS is in reception at the local school. It's a good school but very big which has its downsides. However, I want him to be at the same school as his friends from nursery and who live locally to us.

There is no right or wrong answer. Just decide what the priorities are for your son and your family and the right answer will come to you. Good luck!

mdean

My advice is to not buy into the middle class claptrap and send your lad to the local multicultural school - he will grow up with great attitude and understanding.

The fact is at 5 his future is already mostly set as the early years are the most important - if your are as loving and caring as you sound he will be fine wherever he goes. So support your local community- maybe join the pta or become a governor to help the school improve.

My experience with my DS - tough but interesting primary school with a magic mix of white working class kids and over 20 nationalities in the school (lots of overseas students kids) - onto the local comp - and now -- hes at oxford - one of 3 from his class at the inner city primary who ended up at Oxbridge

All great kids with great attitudes to people because of the variety of people they have interacted with - and of course wonderful teachers

Savvy_Sue

I always went for local over 'good'. And never regretted it. Because although the schools I used didn't have a 'good' reputation, they were excellent for my sons.

I visited and based my choices on what I saw of the schools: not what other people told me (horror stories from 10 years earlier!) or league tables or Ofsted reports.

I saw a head who knew how to deal with disruptive pupils. While I could have thought "disruptive pupils - NO!" I thought "Good, disruptive pupils will be well handled."

Then we moved and I had to go through it all over again. I saw one head who assumed I'd go to appeal to send my boys to an oversubscribed, overcrowded school just because it had a good reputation. I couldn't get out of the door fast enough. I chose a school with lots of outside space, and a headteacher who knew he had problem children but was prepared to deal with each child as an individual. And that included my boys, who were not disruptive but needed some individual attention because they were rather bright.

And just think, if you and your friends all used the same school, that would be 3 parents wanting to make a difference, and that could make a HUGE difference!

Oh, and you also have to think about HOW you'd cope with getting your son to school if it isn't local, especially with younger children too. It's all very well to talk about getting a bus, but I found it hard enough to get everyone out of the house suitably dressed without thinking about going to wait for a bus, struggling onto a bus with a buggy, buses being late or not turning up, or no room on the bus for the buggy ...

And whether you'd get into a school further away in the first place!

No, for me it's local every time ...

HappySad

[/B]Thanks for your reponces everyone....

I look at Ofsted, sats school visit, what the parents are saying and also what I see from the pupils that I see around at going and leaving the school.

I would love to send my son to the local school which is basically just 5mins walk away but I don't want him to be left out educationally while others who are behind catch up with their abilities (mainly behaviour and English) over the first few years of school. I don't want my son to feel left out because he is one who would see learning as a fun thing .. where the children come from is a bonus and I want my child to see children from all over the world and that is a great benefit to his social skills and emotional development.

MDean - What are the middle class clap trap? My values are to have him do as well as he can educationally, to enjoy and love his childhood at school, to see learning as a life long chalenge/enjoyment and to also develope a strong network of friends while showing great respect to all people where every their background (race/culture/age).

My two very local schools STats are not that brilliant.. but my main concern is bullying and the attitude of children/parents. If bullying was being dealth with effectively at the schools and the parents were on the whole supportive of the teachers and their children's education then I would be OK even thought the stats are not that good. If the bad behaviour is in the minority at these schools and they are being dealth with effectly then I would be OK about these schools.

I don't want my son to be in the well behavied minority and for him to feel that he is under pressure to act BAD or not do well in school to fit it with the rest.

bluebell13 - I also like yourself don't want my son to have little friends that he can network with /have fun as he lives further out that the majority of his school. The school that I would be looking at would be 15mins bus ride away. Is that too far?


I am being greatly influenced by what parents are saying. My two very local schools have not so good repulations in terms of dealing with bad behaviour. I know that children will bully and act bad but my concern is that many teachers are turning a blind eye to it and not dealing with it effective and more so when a very badly behaved parent is involved.

inkie

As we are a christian family, the only school that we wanted was a denominational school. I enrolled our daughters in at the nursery, no messing abiut with LEA as the school can admit who they like. (didn't even go for a visit/look at ofsted!!) It just seemed right that they went to this school. Even now, I don't know what the Ofsted is, but I know that our DDs are thriving there (eldest leaves this year and did SATs a year early and got straight level 5's.)- both doing really well, and are cared for. Obviously the right thing for us to do!

teagan1966

hi
i would personally have a look round a few schools if u can and c if u think the children look happy and how u feel the teachers commicate with the children , there at school such a long time u need them 2 b happy
teagan

flea72

i would always go with local, as children definitely feel more isolated if not going to the same school as their neighbours. also school reps change from one year to the next, so what is showing as doing badly one year (SATs etc.) will within a couple of years be the school alot of people from out of catchment are now trying to get into.

also you seem to have a good knowledge of how your local school functions, now seeing as you arent actually inside their walls yet, im betting alot of your judgements are based on heresay, and from your informers, what parent is going to big up a school that their kids dont attend.

im of the opininion if the people in your neighbourhood are ok to live with, then in all honesty they cant be that bad to go through the education system with.

bluebell13

Hello again. I would be worried about a lack of dealing with bullying as the effects of it can be very serious. I don't think a school which is 15minutes bus ride away is too far. If you are happy to spend extra effort to make sure your son has friends locally or maybe joins local clubs then fine.

Dont want to get personal but do you have younger children who would also have to go on the bus with you in a morning? Also, if you plan to extend your family, as others have said, it can be difficult getting everyone ready in a morning.

TAG

I was really concerned about which nursery/school my 4yo daughter should go to. I wasn't that impressed whith my local school to start with, even though it's literally right outside my back garden. Their ofsted report was rubbish. But.........

She started attending the nursery there in September and she loves every minute of it. She is a bright child who desperatley wants to learn to read and write asap. So much so she has been pestering her nursery teacher for reading books. Which in the last two weeks she has been given and we're now well and truly on the reading road.

They have a very low number of children attending this particular school, I don't know why. But the ofsted report bears no resembelence to the education DD is receiving. I'm happy that her educational needs are being met and that already they have identified that she is a child that is eager to learn and will help her to reach her full potential.

Also my 12yo started secondary school in September. His Primary school (different from above) was in special measures when he left. But he still achieved Level 5's in his sats (along with a number of children in his class)and is achieving above average results in the regular assesments they have at his new school.

That all sounds a bit as if I'm blowing my own trumpet but the point I'm trying to make is....... that if a child has the capabilites then this will be tapped into and they will be pushed and encouraged all the way. No matter what an ofsted report says.

dlb

Hiya i dont think 15 mins drive is too far to go to school.
When we moved house my kids asked if they could stay at the school they were at, and i decided this was a good idea, it is a good 15 min drive from where we live now, and my kids are the only children in our neighbourhood to attend this school, but this doesnt matter. It means they make extra friends, they have their school friends and have made friends with some of the children locally.
As for what school, a child that wants to learn will learn in no matter what enviroment they are in.No school is perfect but with good support at home a child can achieve in any school.