Friend with PCOS...Advice please

dottydee854

Jenhug, i will mention the reflexology and ask if she would consider it a option, depending on how she feels that is. Never heard of it, so might be a route for her to investigate. She is currently on a diet, bless her. PCOS makes her weight hard to manage so has tried a low G.I diet and didn't find it no help. Currently trying celeb slim i think to try shift some weight love her. x

TinyPablo

I have suffered infertility for years and wish I had a friend like you, thankfully I am now pregnant with twins after IVF. I always wanted to direct well meaning family/friends to the following site but never had the courage

http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html

I hope you friend get the outcome she longs for, good luck.

dizziblonde

I don't have PCOS - but did have a very long brush with infertility (took us 4 years to be able to concieve, then a run of miscarriages before the little miss turned up somewhat ahead of schedule - adding dealing with prematurity into the mix - so I've kind of been through most of it over the years).

Just avoid the "relax and it'll happen" or the "inspirational" stories of Great Aunt Doris who was told she'd never have children then concieved quads with the milkman at the age of 68 when all hope was lost (I exaggerate a bit but anyone who's had difficulties will know the sort of tale I mean) and accept however she deals with the situation - whether she's someone who can take joy in other people's new arrivals, or whether she copes by avoiding situations she's going to be confronted with small babies (I was very much the latter - wasn't strong enough to do the former)... people find that quite hard to understand and can be very harsh if you DO need that space at times.

What I needed when I was at my lowest (and our circumstances pretty much took me to the brink of suicide) was just a friend who wasn't going to start with the whole "oh your life is only significant if you have children" stuff, and an escape from being Barren Childless Dizzi to just being Dizzi again so to speak. Oh and someone with a healthy degree of scepticism about some of the snake oil pedalled toward desparate women would be handy.

Apologies for any typos, our very very small miracle is currently trying to breastfeed off my elbow... marks for enthusiasm 10/10, marks for accuracy 0/10!

charlishae

Hi there, I do feel for your friend as I have PCOS too and have been trying to conceive for nearly two years now without success.

Just wondering, has your friend been prescribed metformin? Its a drug for insulin resistance and has been found to help some pcos sufferers. Also has the drug femara (letrozole) been mentioned to her? It works in a similar way to clomid but can be more effective for some people. Might be worth asking her gyn about those.

Has she tried Agnus castus? Its a herb said to balance hormones and promote ovulation so might be worth a try. You can get it from Holland and Barrett and boots.

If she was willing to go for IVF but did not want to wait until she was 23 then has she considered going private and paying for either IUI (approx £600 depending on clinics) or IVF with egg sharing where you donate half your eggs for 'free' IVF (you still pay for things like tests but it is substantially cheaper), if you look at a clinics website they will be able to tell you what you have to pay for.

Hope that helps, good luck x

lostinrates

dottydee854 wrote: »

Jenhug, i will mention the reflexology and ask if she would consider it a option, depending on how she feels that is. Never heard of it, so might be a route for her to investigate. She is currently on a diet, bless her. PCOS makes her weight hard to manage so has tried a low G.I diet and didn't find it no help. Currently trying celeb slim i think to try shift some weight love her. x

I have pcos, and i am infertile. The two are slightly separate. Its true that the 'it'll happen' repsonce is distressing in the extreme, but with knowledge behind it it can help with the perspective my consultant gave me when i was first diagnosed with pcos....pcos tends to run in families. Ergo, it can not be a guarantee of infertility, otherwise it would not be passed on.

Dieting hard can make us less fertile. I think she should concentrate on dieting for now and that when she is in a good weight range eat very healthily and with nutritional advice for pcos in mind, while she waits to be old enough for ivf. from everything i have read this, the excess weight and dieting both, could be the factors that are tipping her fertility ove the edge ( and possible worsening the pcos symptoms).

She is doing the right thing by starting young to think about this, she has a long time in which fertili treatment and time and lifestyle can all be given there best chances to result in a family:)

Also, to look forward too, i have been told many times by women that their pcos symptoms lessen after a pregnancy.

My situation is slightly different asi have other more serious health problems, but the hereditary thing actually had a big impact on how i thought about it. Dh and i decided that we did not want any fertility treatment at all, and that if nature wanted it to happen for us that way then it would. I feel very strongly that having fertility treatyment would not be in the best interest of my health, but also, most importantly to me, i would HATE to be responsible the pain of reduced fertility on a daughter i had been unable to conceive alone. I appreciate thats not everyone's perspective, but its helped me in coming to terms with my situation.

dottydee854

Hi thanks everyone for your responces! First of all, she wanted to try metamorfin (sp sorry) But the gyn just refused. She was having her hopes on that treatment as some may know (im not clued up on it) but it helps with her weight? shes never mentioned the ferma so will ask her about it, if the topic arrises, i don't want to push all this information on her if she doesn't feel like talking about it. Agnus cactus, we talked about it agggges ago, not sure if she actually tried it, think it was too expensive to be buying for a long time iykwim.

She doesn't constantly diet, she tried one, gave up about 6 months ago, now just started this a month ago before Gyn. But she eats rather healthy.

Thanks for the advice into IUI and egg sharing. She's a great aunty to my kids, she sat with me in labour, loved rubbing my bump but has told me it has been hard to be around me when the kids are about, which i can understand and respect her for telling me. So she is coming around when they are all in bed.

dizziblonde Congrats on the baba
TinyPablo i will read that link now. Thank you.

So glad i have other people with a similar posistion as my friends persepctive xxx It's really appreciated.

xxxxx

Addiscomber

I have been eating a low carbohydrate diet for a while. In my research about low carb I remember seeing references to such a way of eating helping PCOS. I have found this section of a forum which has information. (Like most such sites it is US based and your friend is unlikely to get any support from UK doctors over following a low carb diet.)
http://forum.lowcarber.org/forumdisplay.php?f=46

ClareEmily

I have PCOS and I had a little boy now 20 months naturally.

It took 6 years, but honestly there is trying to get pregnant and then really TRYING to get pregnant.

I lost a bit of weight, was put on metformin (but was already unknowingly pregnant, but probably helped prevent miscarriage), and we had sex every other night for a couple of months.

I am now 35 so she has got plenty of time, and it may just take her a while longer to fall pregnant.

ClareEmily

lostinrates wrote: »

Also, to look forward too, i have been told many times by women that their pcos symptoms lessen after a pregnancy.

God wish this had been true for me, my symptoms are worse now if possible bloody PCOS

Trazy

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

I know that feeling. I was diagnosed at 16 but I've spent nearly 16 years battling various medical authorities who kept insisting there's absolutely nothing at all wrong with me (despite clear evidence there is) I know how heartbreaking it is to feel like you're a failure.. just be there for her, keep encouraging her on etc. It breaks my heart now to see new babies, as I'm never going to have any - but she still has that glimmer of hope and she needs to nurture that.
My sis had endometriosis and PCOS and it took her I think 5 years to conceive - she was top of the list for IVF and she conceived my eldest nephew naturally so its not impossible!

My daughter in law has PCOS and has had one ovary removed but (thank God) with a little time she was able to conceive my now Granddaughter. Don't give up