What age for going back to work full time

JodyBPM

For those of you who have children and either worked p/t or were a SAHM when they were little, at what age (of the children) did it feel right for you to go back to fulltime work?

My children are 6 & 7, and I've worked (in my old career type job) 2 days a week for the last 5 years or so, since I finished my 2nd lot of mat leave. Financially we are fine, but tbh although I have a good, well paid job, my career has pretty much stagnated for the last few years, mainly because to apply for other jobs/promotions I'd probably have to work full time again. My part time hours are enough to keep me "in" and up to date, but I've not had any career progression as such for quite some time.

I've seen another job advertised, which would be the perfect job for me, but its full time. It's local and convenient, but I reckon after childcare costs etc I'd only be about £4-500 a month better off than I am now even though I'd be working double the hours. We don't "need" the extra money, but of course it would be nice to have, and we're hoping to move to a bigger house soon, and this would certainly make having a mortgage again more comfortable. But it doesn't seem quite enough to make it worthwhile. The whole thought of juggling childcare, breakfast clubs, afterschool clubs, holiday clubs makes me feel exhausted tbh, and I know I will resent paying out mega bucks to pay someone else to look after the children, whilst I get virtually no time at all with them.

At 38, I do feel that if I want to progress in my career, then I probably need to go back into full time work at some point soon, but I'm feeling like the impact on the family of me working full time would be quite hard to swallow for the sake of not much extra benefit financially. Yet I can't imagine finding a job that is a better match for me than the one I've seen advertised any time soon - its local, decent pay, suits my skill set and is with my employer of choice.

I'm worried that if I go back full time I will quickly come to resent the lack of free time, but I also think that if I don't go back fulltime now when there is such a perfect job on offer, will I ever?

If I wait til the children are secondary school age, I will be mid forties, and that feels a bit too late for me.

Husband will be supportive, whatever I decide, but tbh he thinks I won't be happy working full time yet.

I'm in a bit of a quandry as to what to do tbh!

Amanda65

All sounds workable but my only word of 'advice' would be that from experience I think children need you more in their teenage years (angst, exams, friendship breakdwns - lifts !) than they do when they are little. Having said that they don't got to bed so early so you get 'extended' time with them.

I would be tempted to apply, find out more about the job if you are offered an interview (flexible hours? working from home options etc) that probably aren't in the ad and then if offered it, make a decision. Good luck

snowyz81

I currently have 4 year old and another on the way. I had to for financial reasons go back to work 4 days a week and then after about a year full time. Luckily we have grandparents who help out so DD is only in nursery 2 days a week, and starts school in september.

Again after this one is born i will have to return full time not just cause of finances but cause of my career, I'm currently a trainee Business Analyst and in order to progress i will need to work as much as poss.

I think if your career is important to you, then i would consider going back full time. Some people are happy to stick in the same job forever. It may be hard work to start off with, but you get into a routine.

Dunroamin

I'd second putting in an application.

If you don't make some career progression in the next few years you may well have to spend the next 25 years in a job below your capabilities.

As another thought, if you move to a larger house, might you have room for an au pair or live in mother's help which could make your life very much simpler?

sunshinetours

Only you know your kids and how you feel about your own career. Will your kids resent you for not "being there" as they may see it? If your career is what largely defines you as you then its obviously something you need to decide on more carefully. If you are happy doing what you do and its just a job then maybe delay that decision for a few more years

Its fortunate that its not a decision driven by money requirements at the end of the day, but I do think its a tough balance to get right, especially since school age children aren't at school for a quarter of the year!

Kimberley82

my children are 8 and nearly 10 and only in the last year have I gone back to full time work

You have to decide what is right for you and your family x

ciderwithrosie_2

This is what happened to me. I was back working part-time (25 hrs) from when the youngest was 4 but said I wouldn't do full-time until he was in secondary school. However, my current boss sought me out and told me that somene was retiring and knew I had the right skills and wanted me to apply for their job. Had to think long and hard about it and discuss with the family but figured it was such a great opportunity, someone would snap it up and stay with it (i.e. the vacancy wouldn't come up again any time soon) and it would be a wise career move for me.

Luckily, I had older children who could be home to keep an eye on my youngest (who was 9 by this time) after school and my OH was there in the mornings to see them all out the door. I made sure I didn't miss out on sports days/plays etc and I was still on the PTA. Eight years on I'm still in the same department and have no regrets whatsoever. Good luck with your decision, not an easy one as mother's guilt is very powerful and seems we get slated by others either way.

Lunar_Eclipse

I'm waiting until my youngest goes to secondary school, although in reality I'm not sure I'll ever return to work in the way that you mean it (we're working on that.) She'll be at least 12, although with one already there, I second the person who said they need you more (well differently) as they get older.

Personally, since this is not a needs must situation, I wouldn't consider working an extra 3 days/week for an additional £4-500/month. That's about £35 extra per working day. On the basis that you don't need the extra income, it therefore comes down to what you prioritise and believe is best for your family.

Don't sell your time too cheaply is my advice. Have you considered working at home on additional days? Maybe freelance projects, possibly even for your current employer, to fit in around the kids?

joedenise

From what you've written it doesn't sound to me that you are ready to go back to full time work. I didn't return to part time work until my youngest daughter was 7 and full time work until my youngest was nearly 11.

I think you really need to be in the right frame of mind to go back full time if there isn't a financial necessity.

Denise

cazziebo

Amanda65 wrote: »

All sounds workable but my only word of 'advice' would be that from experience I think children need you more in their teenage years (angst, exams, friendship breakdwns - lifts !) than they do when they are little. Having said that they don't got to bed so early so you get 'extended' time with them.

This is so true and not something that features much in advice. I suddenly found myself to be a single parent when my children were both under four (baby was a year old when I went back to work). I had one unscheduled day off when my daughter had an operation to reset a broken arm in all the time they were at primary school. Everything else I managed with taking leave. I did have a brilliant childminder :T

Teenage years were completely different. They were too old for any formal childcare so school holidays and inset days were difficult. There were the orthodontic appointments, having to go see teachers about things and then a very traumatic time when my younger daughter decided she didn't need to go to school any more.. Luckily, by that time I'd quite a senior job so getting time off was easier. I'd have been fired in my earlier jobs for persistent unauthorised absence.

It's a question only you can answer. I went back to work purely because I needed the income. I had a mortgage, a vanished ex and no family around. However, if I hadn't gone back so quickly i wouldn't be doing what I am today, so although it was hard at the time, it was worth it.

Dunroamin

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I'm waiting until my youngest goes to secondary school, although in reality I'm not sure I'll ever return to work in the way that you mean it (we're working on that.) She'll be at least 12, although with one already there, I second the person who said they need you more (well differently) as they get older.

Personally, since this is not a needs must situation, I wouldn't consider working an extra 3 days/week for an additional £4-500/month. That's about £35 extra per working day. On the basis that you don't need the extra income, it therefore comes down to what you prioritise and believe is best for your family.

Don't sell your time too cheaply is my advice. Have you considered working at home on additional days? Maybe freelance projects, possibly even for your current employer, to fit in around the kids?

That outlook's fine on a short term basis but if it's going to be the kiss of death to 25 years of a career, you need to take a longer term view.