Engagement/wedding postponement - just a vent

Vickisaver

Thanks Acc72, that is why we are waiting, to ensure that the debts are cleared and no new ones incurred.

He is doing all he can to find a suitable job, and as I said, is also having some success as an artist, and utilising a number of other avenues to get the experience to get paid work. We manage well enough, and my debts are going down quickly, so things are positive.

fluffnutter

Vickisaver wrote: »

Thanks Acc72, that is why we are waiting, to ensure that the debts are cleared and no new ones incurred.

He is doing all he can to find a suitable job, and as I said, is also having some success as an artist, and utilising a number of other avenues to get the experience to get paid work. We manage well enough, and my debts are going down quickly, so things are positive.

It's an admirable stance for sure. Just remember that life's not only about money.

Torry_Quine

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

I'm confused. I thought that an engagement was an intention to marry. You've already decided that you're going to marry each other, so for all intents and purposes you are 'engaged', you just haven't had the ring (and romantic gesture to give it to you).

That's the bit you need to treasure in your heart - you have promised yourselves to each other. The only delay is in telling people. You're just waiting for the right time to share your exciting secret with your friends and family by waving a sparkler at them.

I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments. You don't set a date to get engaged, as soon as you have agreed that you are going to marry then you're engaged. Knowing that is the important thing anything else is a bonus.

Acc72

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's an admirable stance for sure. Just remember that life's not only about money.

I do not necessarily disagree.

However, the OP started a new thread on a moneysaving site to "vent" at ther situation of having to postpone her engagement / wedding due to lack of money, so it is hardly surprising if somebody suggests that her young able bodied partner gets himself a job.

The OP may be loved up now and be happy to go out to work and pay the bills for her boyfriend whilst he spends his day painting, however I wouldn't be surprised to see similar threads in the future from the OP .......

mountainofdebt

well oh and I got engaged when we were both students.....my engagement ring cost £50.

As for getting married the best wedding I ever went to cost £3000 (and that was quite recent as well)

What I'm saying is you don't have to spend alot either getting married or getting engaged - regardless of what you hear or read.

Cat501

Acc72 wrote: »

I do not necessarily disagree.

However, the OP started a new thread on a moneysaving site to "vent" at ther situation of having to postpone her engagement / wedding due to lack of money, so it is hardly surprising if somebody suggests that her young able bodied partner gets himself a job.

The OP may be loved up now and be happy to go out to work and pay the bills for her boyfriend whilst he spends his day painting, however I wouldn't be surprised to see similar threads in the future from the OP .......

A quick google for "jobseekers per vacancy" should help explain it.

Acc72

Cat501 wrote: »

A quick google for "jobseekers per vacancy" should help explain it.

No it doesn't - post 22 explains it.

Cat501

Acc72 wrote: »

No it doesn't - post 22 explains it.

That would be the one where OP says he's doing everything he can to find a suitable job and trying to get experience which will qualify him for more jobs, right?

Sorry - doesn't explain it to me. Whereas learning that the national average is 6 jobseekers per vacancy does. In some areas the situation is far worse.

OP, congrats to your OH on having some success with his artistic talent I have a feeling that the mere mention of him being an artist may have totally negated everything you've said about his job-hunting efforts in some people's eyes

Savvy_Sue

Just_Plain_Jane wrote: »

Ask her - the worst she can say is no.

If bf gets on well with her, I'd suggest he asks. I know it wouldn't have worked if DH had asked my mother for anything, but his parents would refuse me nothing, if I asked. I have his grandma's wedding ring, in fact.

What matters most, the ring or being engaged? the wedding or being married? You can do it fast and cheap if that's what you want: I had a "who spent less?" discussion with one of my brothers in law not long ago, and I won.

bestpud

Is your OH a bit of a dreamer, OP?

Sounds to me like he's living the life while you earn the money!

Is he a scientist or an artist?

Forget all the tripe about no jobs and hundreds of applicants for every vacancy - there is jobs out there for young, able-bodied and willing people. He didn't work at Uni and he isn't working two years later - have you asked yourself if he's actually work shy?

I think you need to remove the rise tinted specs and properly evaluate what he's up to while you're out working! He's almost certainly giving you the right spiel but something tells me you are going to be supporting him for a long time!

Don't listen to all the rubbish about fantastic art commissions that are just a piece away and don't listen to all the crap about interviews that are great but he just needs this or that next illusive thing!

Fact is, he doesn't look a good prospect to employers because he doesn't know what he wants, has never got off his butt and done a days work and he is clearly someone who likes to make excuses and sponge off his partner.

Chances are you will be in the same situation for years to come! If that's what you want then fine but I don't think it is or you wouldn't be here.