Costs of a nanny?

Bumpmakesfour

I used to think career and money was everything but tbh I am unbelievably glad to have been able to be THE main carer in my childrens lives.We have sacrficed various luxuries but tbh that means nothing in the long run xxx

Bluemeanie_2

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

I used to think career and money was everything but tbh I am unbelievably glad to have been able to be THE main carer in my childrens lives.We have sacrficed various luxuries but tbh that means nothing in the long run xxx

All that annoys me about situations that the OP has found herself in, is the general assumption that childcare/things children related seem to be focused on the female. Still suppose however much we try we will never override biological/evolution! Whatever arrangement works for you and your family.
OP I hope it works out for you, whichever solution you decide. xxx

mysk_girl

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Why did you think that? have you experienced this kind of attitude before?
I think what you are doing is very admirable.

Oh yes, often - why would I want to use the degree and chartered engineer status I've worked very very hard to get when I could stay home with the children and maybe, if I'm lucky, get a part time job cleaning or on the checkouts in Sainsbury. Which of course are both really good options if they suit you and your lifestyle. It's not about the money (good job really!), but it is about my own financial security and not relying on OH to provide everything. And it is about career progression, if I leave the industry now, I can't see myself ever being able to get back in and that would make me sad. I love the intricacy of it, I'm a true pedant and perfectionist at heart, and what I do is perfect for me.

I am also developing a business working from home, which I'm hoping to develop while on maternity leave which may provide enough security (in my mind) to let me give up.

I find my job fulfilling in the same way that I love being with my children, which is why I work part time and have organised my day so that I am there for them after school about 98% of the time. They are not in childcare until the end of the day, they come home (or on playdates, swimming lessons, trips to the park/library etc.) with me and we cook together, sit down for a meal together and play games. I get them between 3pm and 7pm when they go to bed, and I make the most of that whole time. It's exhausting, because then I have to start on housework and developing my other business. But it is worth it.

I understand why people want to stay at home with their kids, and I would never disparage anyone elses' choice, but if I can get this to work, it would be a good thing for the family in the long term, I think.

Anyway, it looks like a nanny is out of the question due to costs, so I'm just going to have to hope I can find a childminder with the flexibility I need.

Bluemeanie_2

mysk_girl wrote: »

Oh yes, often - why would I want to use the degree and chartered engineer status I've worked very very hard to get when I could stay home with the children and maybe, if I'm lucky, get a part time job cleaning or on the checkouts in Sainsbury. Which of course are both really good options if they suit you and your lifestyle. It's not about the money (good job really!), but it is about my own financial security and not relying on OH to provide everything. And it is about career progression, if I leave the industry now, I can't see myself ever being able to get back in and that would make me sad. I love the intricacy of it, I'm a true pedant and perfectionist at heart, and what I do is perfect for me.

I am also developing a business working from home, which I'm hoping to develop while on maternity leave which may provide enough security (in my mind) to let me give up.

I find my job fulfilling in the same way that I love being with my children, which is why I work part time and have organised my day so that I am there for them after school about 98% of the time. They are not in childcare until the end of the day, they come home (or on playdates, swimming lessons, trips to the park/library etc.) with me and we cook together, sit down for a meal together and play games. I get them between 3pm and 7pm when they go to bed, and I make the most of that whole time. It's exhausting, because then I have to start on housework and developing my other business. But it is worth it.

I understand why people want to stay at home with their kids, and I would never disparage anyone elses' choice, but if I can get this to work, it would be a good thing for the family in the long term, I think.

Anyway, it looks like a nanny is out of the question due to costs, so I'm just going to have to hope I can find a childminder with the flexibility I need.

I understand exactly where you are coming from, and will be in the same predicament. As much as I would love my kids I would need more. I think it is very admirable what you are doing and not giving up you career. Best of luck.

Acc72

cottonhead wrote: »

If they live in they will always be there on time and the children really get a bond with them.

Difficult one - I am not sure that this is such an advantage ?

For me, I would be devastated if my child fell over and was crying (or whatever) and ran to the nanny for help rather than running to me.

hippychick1

It can be difficult to find a childminder working odd hours, but they are worth their weight in gold. I am a single mum with three young children and I am a student nurse. Due to this, quite often I work 40 hours a week and must be on the ward before 7am. I had a fab childminder who would have the children from 6.30am, then she finished childminding! I really panicked, but very quickly, within a couple of weeks, found another childminder willing to work the same hours.

It really is worth doing your homework on this, I looked into a nanny too, but just could not afford one. I used www.childcare.co.uk and put my details in, my new childminder actually got in contact with me. You could also try your local gumtree website. Hope this helps.

tooldle

mysk_girl wrote: »

Oh yes, often - why would I want to use the degree and chartered engineer status I've worked very very hard to get when I could stay home with the children and maybe, if I'm lucky, get a part time job cleaning or on the checkouts in Sainsbury. Which of course are both really good options if they suit you and your lifestyle. It's not about the money (good job really!), but it is about my own financial security and not relying on OH to provide everything. And it is about career progression, if I leave the industry now, I can't see myself ever being able to get back in and that would make me sad. I love the intricacy of it, I'm a true pedant and perfectionist at heart, and what I do is perfect for me.

I am also developing a business working from home, which I'm hoping to develop while on maternity leave which may provide enough security (in my mind) to let me give up.

I find my job fulfilling in the same way that I love being with my children, which is why I work part time and have organised my day so that I am there for them after school about 98% of the time. They are not in childcare until the end of the day, they come home (or on playdates, swimming lessons, trips to the park/library etc.) with me and we cook together, sit down for a meal together and play games. I get them between 3pm and 7pm when they go to bed, and I make the most of that whole time. It's exhausting, because then I have to start on housework and developing my other business. But it is worth it.

I understand why people want to stay at home with their kids, and I would never disparage anyone elses' choice, but if I can get this to work, it would be a good thing for the family in the long term, I think.

Anyway, it looks like a nanny is out of the question due to costs, so I'm just going to have to hope I can find a childminder with the flexibility I need.

I completely agree with you OP. I am a graduate engineer myself, I love my job and in no way would give it up.
We have managed to work a system out which is similar to yours. When our child was in primary school, my oH took her in, and I collected. It meant that I was in work before 7am, and OH had to work later in the day. For daughter it meant she was in school for the same amount of time as any kid with a stay at home parent. She was able to have play dates etc just like any other kid. We have never missed an assembly, sports day, school fete etc, and have always looked after daughter if she was sent home sick, or to ill to go in. Granted its not always easy, but it certainly isn't an impossible task.
Now daughter is in secondary school and life is considerably easier.
Many extol the virtues of seeing first steps, hearing first words etc. Is it really any less important when these milestones are acheived, to know that another might have experienced it before us? Isn't it equally as important to secure the financial future of the family, be in a position to fund or help fund higher education, or enable other opportunities as they appear. Which ultimately has the most impact on shaping a childs future? We all have a choice. Good luck to you OP, I hope you get something sorted soon.

Savvy_Sue

Bluemeanie wrote: »

All that annoys me about situations that the OP has found herself in, is the general assumption that childcare/things children related seem to be focused on the female. Still suppose however much we try we will never override biological/evolution! Whatever arrangement works for you and your family.

Tell me about it! Even when I was working f/t and DH was p/t, it still seemed to be MY responsibility to check whether or not he was picking them up (as they could walk home themselves by that stage), going to any events. And it was certainly my responsibility to make sure they'd read / done homework and were organised for the next day!