Costs of a nanny?

clairehi

mysk_girl wrote: »

I need to either leave at 7am or I won't get back until after 3pm, and collecting the children from school at least some of the time is very important to me.


The eldest will be at school, and the local childminder will have her from 7.30-9am. OH can drop her at 7.30 90% of the time and I will have to find some way of being half an hour late to collect from school on any day when he has to leave early. Doable.
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On the occasional days when OH has to leave early,and so you are going into work late, can the childminder do school pick up for you, and have the kids til you get back? If they have space most CMs are quite flexible to do a bit of extra time when needed.

Savvy_Sue

mysk_girl wrote: »

Had an initial chat with OH, and we both seem prepared for the possibility of the vast majority of my salary to go on childcare in the short term.

I know you're not exactly saying it like this, but I've never really understood why it's the mother's salary which goes on childcare. Surely "a larger % of our joint income than previously will go on childcare" is a better way of looking at it, and if that remains affordable then even if it swallows up MORE than all of one salary, then it's affordable!

Not that I have anything against forward planning and working out the most economical way of arranging things ...

DKLS

Slightly flippant comment but from what I have learnt from a colleague who has a live in au-pair who he pays 180 a week in london plus accommodation and use of a car. Ensure that the au-pair/nanny isnt more beautiful than the OP that was his wifes rule!, my colleague would show me a website of the ladies who had replied and some of them were drop dead stunning. Especially the californian blonde.

Bluemeanie_2

mysk_girl wrote: »

Wow, loads of good advice - I'd sort of expected to be told off for daring to think I could maintain a career with 3 children...

Why did you think that? have you experienced this kind of attitude before?
I think what you are doing is very admirable.

cottonhead

Do you have space for an au pair ? Its a very economic way of getting childcare and some help around the home. Thats the option I would choose. If they live in they will always be there on time and the children really get a bond with them. Its far far far cheaper than a nanny.

GobbledyGook

It's worth looking around. I work school hours and a number of nannies wouldn't even entertain the idea of working for me on an hourly basis because they were used to earning for 10/12 hours a day.

However I came across one nanny who had a child of her own who was delighted by the idea of school time work. She can fit in the school run for both schools (her own child goes to breakfast club and a homework club so the timings fit) and I collect mine at 4pm leaving her her evenings and (school holidays in my case) to herself. She starts at 7.30am.

She's gutted I'm leaving my job because she has loved it. You might find a childminder in the same boat who'd be happy with the early start to have the early finish.

melb

you must really love children to have had 3 in such quick succession so why not take a career break and enjoy them instead of trying to fit them into some exhausting time-table? Children don't want to be up at the crack of dawn and dropped off at someone's house at 7.30 am still half asleep. Then its's breakfast club and after-school club and ends up being a 10 hour school day. It's such a long day. I can never understand why people have children and then spend all their salary paying other people to look after them. Am i old-fashioned or do babies and toddlers not like being with their mothers any more?

Bluemeanie_2

melb wrote: »

you must really love children to have had 3 in such quick succession so why not take a career break and enjoy them instead of trying to fit them into some exhausting time-table? Children don't want to be up at the crack of dawn and dropped off at someone's house at 7.30 am still half asleep. Then its's breakfast club and after-school club and ends up being a 10 hour school day. It's such a long day. I can never understand why people have children and then spend all their salary paying other people to look after them. Am i old-fashioned or do babies and toddlers not like being with their mothers any more?

I know where you are coming from to a certain extent, however if like me you have a career where if you "fall out of the loop" and I didn't work for 7-8 years to bring up two kids, I would probably never get a well paid job again and would end up working for minimum wage for the rest of my life. My intention is to enjoy holidays and weekends as much as possible with my kids. I think this is the predicament the OP is in.
Without digressing this thread too much into a "feminist" discussion, it can be hard to know what to do. If I give up work to raise kids and my marriage broke down, I'd be condemning myself to a life of benefits etc. It may seem selfish to some but I like to look after myself and my financials and giving up work and relying on my Husband for main income just isn't in my make-up. (This is not a judgement, each to their own). As someone else pointed out, I see no similar pressure is ever applied to the Father of the children. It is often assumed it is the woman's role to reduce hours/give up work/arrange childcare.

Bumpmakesfour

I was in your position.Had a successful career where I actually earnt more than my hubby at the time.We then had three children in quick succession(a 14 month gap,a 16 month gap so 3 under threes and now are 8,7,6 years) so I left my job once the mat leave was ending with first baby and got two lines confirming the second
I have two special needs children plus also have a 5 month old that took us many years to conceive.I'm VERY unlikely to ever ever get back to that career ladder rung I was once on.I DO rely on my(thankfully now much higher)hubbys wage to pay our way.But I can tell you one thing I am SO so glad I sacrificed what I did.I have had the privilege of sharing four little peoples lives.When I think that if I had gone the "other" way and done nannies/nursery etc my entire wage would be gone,I'd have missed TOO many "firsts"..nope.I love being able to be there for my kids at random morning assemblies with no notice,to be the one who can collect them if they get sick and want mummy.To be there to watch my baby roll the first time blah blah.I KNOW I am very very fortunate to be in the position to do that but you sound like you could be too.And I promise you,it's worth it xxxx

Bluemeanie_2

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

I was in your position.Had a successful career where I actually earnt more than my hubby at the time.We then had three children in quick succession(a 14 month gap,a 16 month gap so 3 under threes and now are 8,7,6 years) so I left my job once the mat leave was ending with first baby and got two lines confirming the second
I have two special needs children plus also have a 5 month old that took us many years to conceive.I'm VERY unlikely to ever ever get back to that career ladder rung I was once on.I DO rely on my(thankfully now much higher)hubbys wage to pay our way.But I can tell you one thing I am SO so glad I sacrificed what I did.I have had the privilege of sharing four little peoples lives.When I think that if I had gone the "other" way and done nannies/nursery etc my entire wage would be gone,I'd have missed TOO many "firsts"..nope.I love being able to be there for my kids at random morning assemblies with no notice,to be the one who can collect them if they get sick and want mummy.To be there to watch my baby roll the first time blah blah.I KNOW I am very very fortunate to be in the position to do that but you sound like you could be too.And I promise you,it's worth it xxxx

I may go this way after I have my first child! x