Boyfriend paying me fair house rent ?

Amanda23

Hi

Not sure if the house rent my boyfriend is paying to me is fair, however, not sure if I'm being unfair so welcome your advice.

My boyfriend was living in a mostly furnished one bed modern flat 1.5 yrs ago. He then moved into a new 3 bedroomed house with me, which I've furnished/accessorised with my income - still a little more to buy. He does help choose furniture etc.

His rent to me is £250 less than he paid 1.5 years ago for his flat. We worked out that half my mortgage plus an extra £70 per month would be fair for rent at that time. I now pay an extra £100 into the mortgage per month. He can't drive but I will drive when we go out/go to work (we work at the same company) so therefore has use of a car that he didnt before.
I pay for all car costs; MOT/Breakdown/insurance cover/problems with car although nothing major/frequent has occurred but we do share petrol costs.

He earns about £3000 per year more than me but has a little debt that he's working on clearing. We have a joint account for joint expenses, ie bills, food, petrol but seperate accounts for everything else that's personal. We share going out expenses ie drinks/restaurants/holidays etc.
The house is in my name, mortagage and bills too.

Many Thanks

HappyMJ

You need to figure rent out compared to other rents rather than comparing to your mortgage. If other rents for a room in a shared house inclusive of bills in the area that you live in are about what he is paying you as rent then that is about right. However, once your relationship moves on from being boyfriend and more towards partners then you should really combine income pay the expenses and split the rest evenly.

floss2

As you have a shared account for bills already, why not add up ALL the bills including mortgage, and share them accordingly? Maybe even add in his debt repayments too, so you are both covering all household expenses?

podperson

Tbh I think that actually sounds quite fair - though to clarify, when you say you pay an extra £100 to the mortgage a month, is that what your normal mortgage payment has increased by or is that you paying extra to reduce the term on it? If it's the former then I would suggest asking him to cover part of that - if it's the later then that is really your choice. Same with the car, he chose not to have a car as presumably he didn't want to have to pay all the costs - you did chose to have a car and if you don't want to drive him round then you don't have to.
At the end of the day the house is in your name, he is paying more then half your mortgage payment - if things didn't work out then you would still have the equity paid off in the house whereas he would have nothing to show for his money.

Judith_W

Do you see a LT future with your BF? If so I think costs should be split much more equally. It sounds like you have all the downside and he has all the upside. I imagine it would cost a fair amount for him to get to work if you didn't take him, so you should be asking for some of that. It's less about getting money out of him, more about having similar spending money once all bills are out, otherwise you will just live to resent him.

It is possible he doesn't appreciate how much it costs to run a car. If he says you would be paying it anyway if you weren't together- say its a partnership and he would be paying for transport if you weren't together!

Another option might be for you to ask for an additional x, but have it going towards paying off his debt quicker so you can move on with your lives without that hanging over you.

Also, if you are thinking about having kids in the future, he should really think about learning to drive.

BitterAndTwisted

HappyMJ wrote: »

However, once your relationship moves on from being boyfriend and more towards partners then you should really combine income pay the expenses and split the rest evenly.

Strictly, their relationship has already moved on from being girlfriend and boyfriend to partners by the existence of the joint bank-account which links them financially. Accepting any payments from him, no matter how modest, has given him a legal claim to part of the property's equity if he should choose to exercise it. None of this is very important as long as the relationship continues but opens up the possibility of a whole world of pain if it should end. These days, mortgage terms are a great deal longer than most relationships last.

So, now that they are legally and financially partners I think it would be fair for the two of them to split all of the expenses, both mortgage and car expenses and everything else bar his debts, right down the middle.

The matter of his debts are irrelevant as it was his choice to acquire them and not the OP's.

All people who decide to share a mortgaged property should think very, very hard indeed about the possible risks they are taking by accepting a single penny from the other partner which is or can be interpreted as "rent". Situations such as this are very easy to get into but a great deal harder to get out of pain and financial loss-free.

If the worst came to the worst the OP could find herself having to remortgage in order to pay him off and get shot of him. I sincerely hope this never comes to pass.

sulkisu

I suspect I will be a bit of a lone voice here, but I'm not sure that I agree with the 'paying half of the mortgage' bit. The way that your post reads - correct me if I am wrong - but this is very much 'your' house, your stuff and he is living with you. If you split up next week/next year, the house will belong to you and you alone will enjoy the equity in it. Regardless of where he was living before, how much he was paying in rent or what his debts are, can I ask if buying this house was something that you planned to do anyway (even if he wasn't in the picture) or did you make a joint decision to purchase the property?

I'm not suggesting that he gets a free ride, but if this was a post from a woman which said that my boyfriend has asked me to give up my flat, move into his house, pay half of the mortgage, half of all bills but nothing is in my name - what would our advice be?

Pee

It's a bit wanting your cake and eating it, and I don't blame you for that. If he pays rent, he is almost certainly not entitled to a share in the property. If he pays half the mortgage, then he will be.

What are your plans for the future? Do you feel that your level of commitment is such that you would choose to be married or partners and have assets in joint names now or can you see that in a couple of years time? When you get married all assets become joint matrimonial property anyway.

How does he discuss matters like this with you? There will be lots of financial desicions to make in your future together, so important to know that you discuss these openly and make a joint, possibly compromised decision.

krlyr

Why not sit down and approach it from a practical POV? If you were his landlord and your mortgage had gone up £100pm, chances are his rent would have increased at the next opportunity too.
Work out the extra mileage from ferrying him around and remind him that petrol is not the only factor but the additional wear and tear on the vehicle - the tyres, the brakes, the clutch, etc. as well as the engine.
That way it takes any emotion out of it, it's not about what you feel is fair, but what is practical, in black and white/facts and figures.

BitterAndTwisted

Pee wrote: »

If he pays rent, he is almost certainly not entitled to a share in the property. If he pays half the mortgage, then he will be.

This is a complete nonsense: charging someone any amount of money to live in your property does not suddenly stop being a contribution towards the mortgage by you calling it "rent".

Some people have been made to share their equity with a partner when they have paid money in lieu of rent, like buyng furniture, paying for or doing repairs or improvements to the property or even paying for expensive holidys instead of paying a formal amount in rent.

What are your plans for the future? Do you feel that your level of commitment is such that you would choose to be married or partners and have assets in joint names now or can you see that in a couple of years time? When you get married all assets become joint matrimonial property anyway.

They are now financially-linked by the existence of their joint bank-account. That can carry rather more risks for the OP than just having someone able to make a claim on the equity in the property. Like those debts that he's paying.

How does he discuss matters like this with you? There will be lots of financial decisions to make in your future together, so important to know that you discuss these openly and make a joint, possibly compromised decision.

To protect myself and my interest in the property I would close that joint bank-account tout bloody suite and make all payments from my own account. And then accept that if I'm receiving rent or anything that looks like rent I am at risk of giving away part of the equity in the property if the unthinkable should happen at some point in the future.

One only has to read a few threads over on the "House Buying" part of the forum to discover what total misery people have unwittingly set themselves up for when a relationship ends.

Personally, I would pay all of the bills myself and not accept a penny from him for anything.

dizsiebubba

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Personally, I would pay all of the bills myself and not accept a penny from him for anything.

Isn't that like letting him sponge now rather than later?