Mother in law not eaten since saturday, need help.

Person_one

KxMx wrote: »

Isn't this attitude of "well after a piddly amount of tests, nothing was found so she must be depressed" just lovely.


:mad:

I don't understand. Depression is not an accusation, its not a default, the symptoms do sound a lot like depression and whether or not she has it there's clearly an issue with her mental health to some extent as she was refusing food/treatment knowing that it would only make her more unwell.

I hope the family have got on well at the hospital anyway.

emweaver

Phoebe_Buffay wrote: »

I hope that I can get a bit of advice because I really dont know what else to do right now. I am running out of options/ideas.

A couple of months ago my mother in law complained of feeling something in her stomach, a "ball" which was causing discomfort under her ribs etc. She said she felt like she was going to be sick each time she had something to eat, this then turned into her actually being sick each time she ate or took a drink.

She went to the doctor, had blood tests done etc. They came back normal. She then stopped eating. She completely changed from an outgoing, chatty person who loved gardening, learning new things, traveling and cooking to somebody that would not move from the couch. She would be in the middle of talking to somebody then she would fall asleep mid way through the conversation.

Because she wasnt eating the doctor referred her to hospital, she had a scan on her stomach, and (sorry I am not medical in the slightest) she had a camera down her throat.

Once again everything was normal and they could not find anything wrong with her.

She then picked up a little bit and started eating one yogurt and a banana per day, maybe the odd small bowl of soup, up until two weeks ago she has gone downhill again.

She went to bed on saturday and has refused to get up since, she has not eaten anything at all since saturday, just lay in bed not talking to anyone.

She told my father in law today that she has had enough and has given up.

The doctor will not refer her back to the hospital as they have done all the tests they can do and found nothing, and she refuses to go to the hospital with us as "its a waste of time".

She is 73 years old and weighed 9 stone, she now weighs just over 6 stone.

Does anyone have any advice at all on what to do? or anyone been through anything similar? Just want to help her but dont really know how.

I would like to add I think it is a mental illness. I suffer with mental illness and often I am sick a little after I eat.

Im surprised the doctor hasn't mentioned this as a possible cause.

Bettie

if she had a camera "down her throat" I guess they would have spotted something like coeliac disease? the symptoms you describe are exactly as my Mum had before she was diagnosed at 80 years old with it. I hope you manage to get it sorted out for her.

sarahw89

i cant believe the hospital/gp arent trying to do more considering how much weight you say she has lost and how her personality has completely changed its disgusting.
really hope you get to the bottom of it and soon x

KxMx

Person_one wrote: »

I don't understand. Depression is not an accusation, its not a default, the symptoms do sound a lot like depression and whether or not she has it there's clearly an issue with her mental health to some extent as she was refusing food/treatment knowing that it would only make her more unwell.

I hope the family have got on well at the hospital anyway.

You have grasped the issue correctly. Depression because of the symptoms/not knowing what's wrong.

Most (including Drs) find no cause for an illness and say the symptoms are because you are depressed.

So, symptoms due to depression
and depression caused by symptoms

Two totally different ball games!

tooldle

Speak to the GP, ask what tests she has had and what the outcome of these are. In my experience, older people don't always understand what has happened, or is happening. Until you have all the facts, it is difficult to say if she has received, or is receiving appropriate care.
My own mother will consistently tell me that thee doctor says there is nothing wrong with her, and the doctor no longer needs to see her. Through speaking to the GP, I know that she has heart mumour, has had a number of mini strokes and has dementia. Get what info you can from the Dr.

pink68

This sounds a bit like something my late aunt went through last year. She had i believe initially a bug which made her sick. This naturally put her off eating and as she was in residential care at this point she couldnt necessarily have what she fancied when she fancied it.

so she stopped eating, which i think then became a mindset, and the lack of energy then switches something in the brain. (i dont know but i've a feeling thats what happens when you have anorexia?). Anyway the home said she was refusing to eat, she said she couldnt eat, GP said she was choosing not to eat and psych said it was all in her head.

sadly she passed away even after she had been moved to a lovely nursing home who bent over backwards to help her.

at times like this you wish a post mortem was the norm so you could actually check who was right.

Good luck OP

xxx

patchwork_cat

If it does turn out to be psychological some of the build up drinks are not at all nice, but my mum once told me that what tempts your appetite first is sweet foods, so perhaps ice cream or yoghurt, maybe even jelly just to get her used to eating something.

kizzie_nikita

How is she doing?

Phoebe_Buffay

Update:

She stayed in hospital overnight, they released her the following day. They sent her home with build up and pain killers (co codamol)

A couple of things that has stood out to me over the last week or so, when she was in hospital she ate the food, when she got home she asked father in law what she should eat, I was there with husband and picked up on it right away, he had made stew, she said she wasnt hungry, then right away asked him what she could have, he told her it was her decision and she opened a tin of pears and started cutting them in half, she took half a pear in a bowl.

I have found out that she is on beta blockers for a heart condition, but she has had this for years, I also managed to get a list of the medication she is taking everyday, She is taking 19 different pills each morning on an empty stomach.

I took the list to the chemist and asked if they are all ok to be taken together, she said they were but to double check with the doctor, made an appointment and mother in law cancelled it!

She told my husband that she wants him to stay there, then in the next breath she is telling us she wants to come and live with us, we arranged for her to stay with us for a few days to give her a change of scenery and she said she didnt want to stay at the last minute as she was in too much pain.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel, her last words to my husband yesterday.

We are no nearer to finding out what is wrong.