Really need advice please.

Glass_Half_Empty??

OK a long story short is this.....
Sat pm me and fiance decided to host family for big alco fest unplanned and had a good night. However I went to fiances grand parents for a bbq today and her bro was very moody. So I invite him for a walk to the off license and he drops a bomb on me......
His gf told him I tried it on with her!
Now firstly we were all battered. And my Mrs went bed para and i didn't understand why but if this comes out I lose my daughter and family could divide yet I remember none of it. She has history for things I won't go in to. He does not believe she is right and wants to forget it all and I can't believe I've done it but it has set a seed of doubt. I feel angry at her for lying and at the same time guilty as sin as what if I did
!!!!!! do I do? I can't sleep and she doesn't know I know. She doesn't want to be a home wrecker apparently but then if it was true why not make it known?
Im really mad about the whole thing but where do I go from here? I think my Mrs would batter her at the slightest hint of this or she'd leave me and i'd lose my girl.
Im wishing now she never came round or we didn't get drunk. She has history for exaggerating things but I still feel like I've done something wrong or my family could be split if she opens her mouth one day.
He wants to forget it and move on but Im stressing. We are getting Wed next year imagine this coming up!
I just don't know what to do.....help

gravitytolls

You'd best tell all to the Mrs now, if the GF has a reputation for embellishing the truth, you should be okay. I expect it could be passed off as a simple misunderstanding due to alcohol consumption.

killerpeaty

I would suggest to talk to your partner about it.
Bare in mind things get really confused when drunk, telling her that she looks nice in her outfit turns into outrageous flirting and a come on. Once a friend of mine had a massive blow out at his house, this girl housemate(1) got randomly angry and started screaming at another housemate's(2) girlfriend(3) and then hit (2)! In the morning (1) remembered (3) screaming at her and (2) hitting (1)! Ended up telling (1)'s boyfriend what happened in her view who started threatening (2) and (3)! Obviously this got sorted out but seriously it's a great example of how ridiculously misshapen drunk memories are.

Your partner will find out, she will be upset if you don't talk about it and if it were me I would take your silence on the matter as a sign of guilt. I suggest that you say you don't think you did anything of the sort, perhaps a different man had done it and it had been imposed onto you?

This is far too complicated a post for this late at night. I hope you get this all sorted out and try not to worry too much about it.

faerie~spangles

Tell your future Mrs what her bro' told you.

January20

yep, tell your fiancee what her brother said, and perhaps, just perhaps stop drinking so much when you have so much to lose?

Oh, and don't say you "think" you didn't do it, be more positive about it than that, otherwise you will plant a seed of doubt in her mind. You don't seem so sure yourself (do you fancy this girl or something?) but no point in tormenting your fiancee needlessly.

Desperado99

Defo tell your fiancee. (but not the 'I think I didn't' bit)

If she has 'form' and her boyfriend doesn't believe her, then you're probably OK and it'll all blow over, but that's if you mention it asap. If you leave it and she finds out through other people, you're screwed!

And probably the best thing to take from this is to not drink so much that you can't remember what's gone on afterwards...........


Hope it works out OK for you

NoLongerLurking_2

1. Tell your missus NOW, as soon as she hears it from somebody else you are at serious risk of being sacked.

2. Is it just me or is it strange this lassie told her BF first. I've been in a situation like that (inappropriate and uninvited touching rather than a come on *shudder*) and the first thing I did was drag him off and told him exactly what I thought of him, then I found his GF, dragged her off and told her exactly what I thought of him.

Now, maybe that wouldn't be everybody's strategy(!) But I find the fact that she's quietly telling her BF rather than talking to you a bit odd. It may be that she's just not all that confrontational, but it may be she doesn't want to face you because (she thinks) you know it didn't actually happen!

Can you tell her you know what she has been saying and ask her EXACTLY what happened to give her the impression you were coming on? Whilst making it clear from the start you do not think that is what happened? Who knows, you might have one of those moments where it all comes flooding back....

Good luck.

MissMonkeyMoo

Tell your girlfriend but as everyone else has said, don't do the whole "I don't think I did....." bit. Even if your OH knows what this girl is like and doesn't believe her version, the "I think" statement could well come back to haunt you in the future! You're doubting yourself because you can't totally remember what happened, but if you are not usually that way when you are drunk then i wouldn;t worry about it. If you ARE that way when you are drunk though you may want to ask a) why you get so drunk! and b) what you are doing when you have a girlfriend and daughter!

Sounds like this girl is just trying to get attention out of her boyfriend, have to ask what he is still doing with her if he doesn't believe her and she has a habit of exaggerating things though?

BitterAndTwisted

Yep, tell your woman as soon as humanly possible. Do not even hint that there's any uncertainty in your mind that this may really have happened the way this g/f seems to remember it. Good Lord, the trouble that drinking excessively brings! Let this be fate's way of telling you that getting so bladdered and being around other people who are bladdered isn't necessarily always a good idea.

FatVonD

You could start the conversation with your fiance along the lines of 'Did you think I did anything that looked like I was too full on with X the other night only she's said to Y that I was hitting on her and I don't recall anything like that? I know I was drunk but I'm sure I'd have remembered. Did you notice anything?'

Glass_Half_Empty??

Thanks for the advice. Not said anything as had no time alone bar bed and didn't know what to make of it all. The more I think about it the more I know nothing happened. I do remember her telling me that she doesn't want to be with him though! Only he owes her mum £300 for a catalogue and if she dumps him she doesn't think he will pay her. She was telling me all of his faults and why he makes her skin crawl and I am now thinking she is doing this in case I have told him(my g/f brother). He wants to leave it alone and forget about it and thinks she wants his attention but my concern is when we all get together etc. I have not told him what was said about him as I don't want to get involved in a messy break up either they can do that themselves it is obvious it wont last !!!!!! they don't make a good match at all. She seemed really nice, and now I also find out she has been abused mentally by her Dad and he has also hit her and her Mum on numerous occasions over the years and she could be deeply affected by all of this for which she is still having council-ing.
What a mess, I can't bring myself to say anything to my Mrs I love her so much. He doesn't believe her, I don't and I am sure my g/f won't but she is likely to get physical as is her sister. She is not aggressive natured but her sister and I have seen them in action this whole thing could possibly start even more trouble!
And yes I have decided that excessive drinking like that is not on, and the irony is we only invited everyone round to try and cheer this girl up. I do not fancy her just thought she was a nice girl and would get her out the house so to speak.
Never again.