please help me deal with seperation

BitterAndTwisted

If your relationship was so negative and unhealthy it might be coming as something of a relief to your children that this has now ended. Try and focus on that and how much better it will be for you once you have got over the shock and accepted this change. Things will get better, I promise you, it's just that it may take a little time but you've got plenty of that.

mintymoneysaver

I'm in a different place to you, as I knew my separation was coming, and like you, it had been an unhappy relationship. So we had 4 months of planning it before he eventually left. It's been 2 months since he's gone, and I have mostly good days.
Plus points....
Bed all to myself; as big a pile of books and read for as long as I want at night; No feeling like I'm walking on eggshells in my own house; relaxing with my teenage girls knowing that no one is going to moan at us; nobody telling me that I've wasted my money when I buy something I want; being able to be hopeful about the future again, after years of thinking my life was just going to carry on like that for ever; Not having to listen to him moaning about how stressful his job was, but taking absolutely no interest in mine; Planning days out and holidays that he would never have wanted to go on.

Yes, I wish it hadn't been like this, I wish he was still the man I married, in which case the split would never have happened, but I don't see this as a failure, I see it as a successful marriage that reached the end of the line, and that is best for both of us. We actually went out as a family yesterday ( with another family) and had a lovely day. He is a good man, and now that I don't have to put up with all the negatives I actually had a good day. I was sad when I got home wishing that our life could have been the way I wanted it to be, but I am far, far happier without him than I have been in the last few years. I put up with too much, accepted too little, and now I can be me again...!:j