My SOA - huge life change/income drop please help!

rising_from_the_ashes

Cariad9 wrote: »

I included this as I don't want to cut back on socialising as moving to a new community I think it's important so had the thought of having Bbqs etc at home and save money by not going out as much.

same here, I don't want to cut back on socialising at first (although as I've made the same argument for the drinks at home I'm going to re-visit this). As another poster pointed out it's difficult knowing what social obligations OH has...

Sorry I agree withwhat mildredalien's said ..... I've highlighted a certain phrase above ...... really when trying to clear debts or balancing the budget, it all comes down to 2 very little words

Need and Want

There are lots of things that we all want but there are often very few things that we actually need to live and get by on

Sorry if that sounds harsh but very good advice has been given and you have an easy £400 of savings to be made in your SOA (when many others can struggle to find £50 to balance the books) whilst still leaving healthy amounts for food / entertainment etc.

As for DHs hair ..... you could buy some clippers and do it at home - they would very quickly pay for themselves.

Cariad9

Thanks, I think in the last couple of years (although hasn't always been the case) we've been in the fortunate position of not worrying about money, so it's making it difficult to adjust. Doing this has been a bit of a wake up call!

miketaff1408

How much do you owe on the 6.8% credit card?

I know it nice to see regular savings building up in the ISA, but at the moment you should switch the £100 payments to paying off the 6.8% credit cards.

There is no point in putting money into an ISA paying ~3% when you could be paying off extra from a debt charging you £6.8%.

As regards to the loans, you mention that you would be no better off paying them off early. Is there an early redemption clause with those loans? Check the fine print to make sure you cannot make overpayments without penalty.

you also put another £100 into the 'general' savings account, which to be honest sounds like it needs to be added to the creaking and groaning 'entertainments' section rather than savings!!!!

Another tip - search on this forum for the 'demotivator' - you can plug in details of

Your books at the moment do not balance by the tune of around £200. So unless you can make the savings myself and others have posted here on other areas, you really aren't in a position to put £200 aside into savings as your current account will start dropping by that £200 every month.

I know it is personal, but I think you need to post more details of your debts and savings. ie. how much saved/owed, are you in an overdraft? It will give a more accurate picture of where you are at.

Your situation doesn't seem too bad, but that is providing you and the OH are prepared to make the changes necessary. Use targets like the thought of buying your own home in the future. Ashes gives excellent advice above regarding the want and need. Just keep thinking - Do I WANT to spend all that money socialising and on personal entertainment, or do I NEED to be saving for our own home?

Pretty soon, with the right changes made, and you start seeing debts wiped off and savings going up, you will be saying :

"I do not NEED to spend all that money on entertainment, and I NEED and WANT to save money towards my dream home!"

Good luck!

notatvstar

Unfortunately Caraid9's situation is becoming increasing common. My OH (as he's the most senior NCO involved with admin) has to deal with soldiers (all ranks - including Officers) who have mounting debt problems. It used to be that spouses could easily find work on camp, but since the civil service/civi admin has been cut back there are very few jobs nowadays for spouses to 'slip in and out' of as people get posted. Also the rising cost of petrol, coupled with a 'in real terms' cut in petrol and travel allowances means a lot of service personnel can barely afford to have cars (which they do need - camps being usually placed in the middle of nowhere). Most of my OH's work mates are very nearly bankrupt, but it's an offence to be so and you can be discharged from service (yes... you can!).

I know the people on here are meaning well by suggesting a severe cut in 'entertaining' etc... but Caraid9 is in a very difficult position. The Patch (the housing estates on camps) can be very cliquey and I've seen some marriages nearly fall apart because the spouse has been socially isolated (for whatever reason). I grew up on the Patch and it's one of the (many) reasons why I refused to be a 'Pad wife' and insisted we 'live out'. She's right to WANT to socialise, but perhaps it's more useful to suggest cheaper ways of doing so, rather than just a blanket prohibition. Also - (I'm not sure how the RAF does this) but perhaps in anticipation Caraid9 may put some money aside every month for Mess Bills... they can be unfeasibly large and my OH's is always a nasty surprise. I'm not sure of your OH's rank, but social commitments increase due to rank and then we have the idiotic situation of having to by expensive bits of uniform such as Mess Dress (Ebay is good for that!).

I do think that Caraid9 will get support from the other spouses though who are in similar positions - but she does need to socialise and 'get her face out there'.

Another drastic alternative (and one, again, people are choosing to do in increasing numbers) is that your OH opts to be posted 'Unaccompanied'. He'll have to live in the Mess, but then at least you get to stay where you are (if you're in private accommodation now) and keep your job. It may be a bit late for you to choose to do this now, or perhaps you've already discounted this (as it's horrible having to live apart) but there are additional allowances your OH could claim should this happen (NOT AN EXPERT THOUGH - your OH needs to speak to his RAO or RAF equivalent for better advice etc). It may be an idea you visit the 'Forces' board as I think there's an SPS bod that posts on there quite regularly - he seems to know the regs pretty well anyway...

Doesn't the camp you're going to have a barber? or is it just Army ones that do nowadays. You *should* get the dentist free though (my Dad was RADC and most of the stuff they did was 'families'), and also same for Dr's appointments etc.

One thing I will say though is your OH DOES need to speak to his RAO (senior admin bod) if you think this situation will get worse. There are things they can do money wise (not free cash though) that can ease the immediate financial burden. I can understand OH doesn't want to get into trouble, but he may be congratulated for trying to prevent a sticky financial situation rather waiting until you guys are in one.

I would say - entertain away, but consider Costco as a possible for a source of cheap bulk food and other things. It is true that the easiest things you can do is reduce the money you spend on booze and food. If the camp is isolated you may want organise shopping expeditions with other wives and carshares etc (if they haven't already got a system up) and perhaps a bulk buying club. If you don't have kids, you may want to consider child minding and baby sitting to earn extra cash - you may need quals and a CRB check though.

Don't forget any Forces discounts! A lot of companies have them but don't advertise them apart from in that book that you can get from military admin people (again - ask on the Forces threads). Also you will qualify (I think!) for travel cards etc... but again please check me on this. I've chosen to live out, so I've never pursued these things. You need to talk to people who are in the system and who can give more specialised advice concerning allowances, etc rather than posting on a more general 'debt reducing' board.

Forgive me - I'm not saying that any advice given here is not relevant to you - it is.... I come on here a lot (i don;t have any real debt issues myself) as the general advice is outstanding, but I do think you may be missing a trick if you don't talk to someone in the system already.

Good luck... steer clear of the 'Rank wives' and padbrats. They hunt in packs y'know.

mildredalien

I sympathise, I'm not a military wife or anything but I can see there's a lot of politics and stuff going on there! It's ok to go through an adjustment period and to learn what is reasonable as you go - as you say, some things you won't know about until you get there.

Just wondering if there's anyway to socialise without spending reams of money? Switching to non-alcoholic drinks, doing 'pot luck' style events where everyone brings something, finding cheaper events to go to... if lots of people are in a similar position maybe they would welcome someone suggesting less expensive ideas!

The following savings could help you keep a socialising budget:
Groceries - reduce by £50 (£180/month for 2 should be fine)
Clothing - reduce by £40 (£10/month until you get back on your feet)
Haircuts - reduce by £25 (a haircut every 2 months or get rid of highlights)
Books etc - reduce by £12 (£10/month max)

That's a saving of £127 without actually stopping anything, just reducing it, and without even touching your socialising budget. If you can cut socialising spends down by even £80/month you will start to break even.

If you reduce your savings and/or suck it up and reduce costs even further you can start to tackle your debt in a meaningful way! I'm not actually sure how much your debts are, but if you could pay off your credit card that's an extra £130/month to put towards whatever you like and you could start increasing your non-essential spends again. The above may be a start until you get settled with your OH, then I'd recommend reviewing how much you need (not want) to spend to keep yourself from being isolated.

nikkiuk

I'm a military wife of 15 years and have to say I don't agree that we are at a disadvatage financially, other than finding it hard to get a job after each posting, but then if you're prepared to work in any job, that is no harder than anyone in civvi street. I am a senior NCO's wife and have always had lots of friends on posting....I certainly don't spend £130 a month on drinks at home or £173 on drinking out?!. Yes, mess bills can be expensive, but we certainly don't attend every mess do and my husband has certainly not had his career affected by it?! On a busy month, ie December when we are paying for numerous Christmas do's and draws our mess bill has never been more than £120. Not forgetting that mess prices for drinks are ludicrously cheap, at no more than £1.20 a pint! There are certain functions that are "3 line whips" in which HE will have to attend, but not all are like that.
We are also in the fortunate position of paying cheap rent and not having mortgages to pay!
Personally, I think you are making excuses and need to decide what is most important to you, getting drunk or living within your means?
Also just to mention that your husband will be entitled to free dental and medical care, but only in some areas are families covered, often you have to use a local dentist and doctor and still pay NHS charges.

Some good news for you though, you don't pay council tax as such when living in military homes, we pay CILOCT which is 'charges in lieu of council tax' and is deducted from your husbands wages at source.He will have already have been paying it for his single accomodation and may not have noticed! You also don't pay water charges, this is included in your rent. If you do get a bill from the water company you need to contact the housing office who will sort it out for you. Your rent will also be deducted form your husbands wages and at £70 a month will not be all that different from what your husband will have been paying for his single living accom, so hopfully you won't see a huge difference in his incoming amount! Those 3 things combined in your SOA add up to £220, which just about covers your shortfall!

notatvstar

nikkiuk wrote: »

Yes, mess bills can be expensive, but we certainly don't attend every mess do and my husband has certainly not had his career affected by it?! On a busy month, ie December when we are paying for numerous Christmas do's and draws our mess bill has never been more than £120. Not forgetting that mess prices for drinks are ludicrously cheap, at no more than £1.20 a pint! There are certain functions that are "3 line whips" in which HE will have to attend, but not all are like that.

... erm - there's something called an 'SJAR' where there's usually is a comment about how active a Mess member the recipient has been... Some soldiers take it seriously... some don't. <shrugs>. Anyway - off topic so I'll stop it there.

FTR - I run everything I say regarding anything Mil passed the OH... and I think he disagrees with some of what you have posted. You may have been a pad wife for 15 years (and I respect that), but you don't get the perspective that a serving SPS NCO gets day in and day out. YOU may be financially OK... there are many others that aren't. Perhaps it's their fault, perhaps not in some cases. It's part of his job to look after those who are not. He has queues outside his office everyday and rarely comes home before 7pm - with people texting him about work - even on the rare occasion he takes some leave.

Personally, I think you are making excuses and need to decide what is most important to you, getting drunk or living within your means?

Perhaps this comment is on the side of 'judgemental'...

Anyway - OH told to me to say to Caraid9 - If your OH is over 37 years old he's entitled to some dosh in the form of loans. It's a tri-service thing so will defo work for RAF. He needs to check it out. He may be entitiled to other advances if he's not 37 and also financial counseling etc. But he needs to see his admin peeps.

nikkiuk

I'm not saying he/they should never go to the mess...we attend many mess functions and also go most Friday nights for the family function, we also help to decorate it at Christmas and do lots of other mess based activities, my husband has worked his way up through the ranks fairly quickly.....what we don't do is spend £173 a month on drinking out. Combined with the £130 for drinking in the house that adds up to £303 a month on Alcohol. If they choose to spend that-fair enough, but do not blame being a military family for that. We like a drink along with the best of them, but do not spend anywhere near that anount.
You may have felt that my comment was judgemental and you are probably right, but she posted on a public forum asking for help as she is spending £200 a month above their income, it's not rocket science to point out that cutting down on their socialising would get them out of that situation.
I also agree that there are many people within the forces who struggle financially, those in lower ranks, with families, paying higher quarter charges etc get my sympathy along with many different and difficult circumstances. But I refuse to give sympathy to someone who has budgeted £300 a month on drinking?! Blame the military lifestyle all you like, yes there is a huge alcohol culture within the services but £300 a month? Really? I can say with certainty that if I asked all of my military friends if they spent £300 a month on drinking, there would be very few, if any, apart form maybe the single soldiers that would say yes, why? Because it is just not affordable!
I couldn't give a fig what whether your husband agrees with me or not! I can't believe that he would encourage anyone to take out more loans when they are spending £300 a month on alcohol! Like I said, yes, there are many finding it hard to cope in this day and age, but surely rather than encourage them to get in further debt he should be encouraging them to cut out the drinking and live within their means?! You said he 'looks after them', really?
And for the record we have faced financial difficulty, due to the fact that we were living above our means and spending more than we earnt! We learnt our lesson and are now more careful, which is simply what I would advise the OP!

nikkiuk

And, as the saying goes "people in glass houses..."

Is this not judgemental?

"Good luck... steer clear of the 'Rank wives' and padbrats. They hunt in packs y'know"

As a "padbrat",(that is the child of someone who served in the forces, for those of you wondering!) I personally think it is and have no idea what you are trying to say, but this is a public forum and you are just as entitled to your opinion as I am of mine!

PasturesNew

The following are unusual/exceptional lifestyle-based spending that isn't needed:

Drinks for Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130.00

Mini Cash ISAs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100.00
Regular Saving. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100.00

Books/Music/Films/Computers . . . . . . .. . . . 21.67
Drinking Out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173.33
Eating Out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86.67

These are items that can be halved:

Haircuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50.00
New Clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50.00

That's £531.67 not needed to be spent and £50 cutbacks you can make ... I left the fags in so be grateful