Quitting work to be a sahm?

rosielx

Thanks for all of the advice. For the post which queried my priority in life - I have not always been in the position where i could give up but my children are a huge part of my life. Now i am in a position to quit work and support them from now until grown up. I just find it very hard to walk away from a job .

cardiogirl

Why don't you investigate whether you can take a career break from work. Where I work, you can take up to 2 years unpaid, but when you return, you maintain your previous t&c & contract. It may help u make the decision if u know it doesn't't have to be permanent.

nonnatus

I'm another one who believes children under four are a chore!

Although I am obviously TOTALLY unfit to be a mother, my two have turned out beautifully - more luck than judgement eh?

OP, it's a GREAT time to be a SAHM if you can afford it. Both kiddies will soon be off at school so you can be up with the larks in the morning, spend time with them getting breakfast and organised (rather than plonk them in front of the telly, why not encourage a half hour formal brekkie where you all eat at the same time and chat about the day ahead - the kids love it!)

Then you pack them off to scool, tidy up after them and the next few hours are your own - BLISS...

Then you get to be a school gate mum (which kids adore!!!!!!!!!) before having the pleasure of their company for the evening, without you being exhausted or distracted by another job.

It's how it should be. It's a priveledge to be able to do it and you are a very lucky lady....:D

jackyann

I would begin by being a sahm, then begin to look for opportunities for occasional work or training that suits you.
You might begin by helping out at kids' school & seeing if anything in education would suit you.

jetplane

cardiogirl beat me to it. Request a career break, you would need to do some research but I know someone is on a 5 year career break from HMRC. I don't know the ins and outs and I'm sure it depends on which company you work for but it takes away the concerns over resigning.

I loved being a SAHM, you can never get those years back. Even without being sentimental about it the whole family benefitted from it. I was so much more relaxed, I responded better to my child as I wasn't so tired all of the time. When my husband came home from work we had more time together etc.

Career breaks didn't exist for me nor did part time working in my career, so I had to make that very scary decision of resigning. I updated my qualifications during school hours and embarked on a new career later. Right now some of my original colleagues are taking retirement and I do think ooh a couple of years and that would be me. But I'm pleased I took those years off even though I'm working them now.

You may also find your chron's symptoms ease particularly if stress makes them worse.

Person_one

rosielx wrote: »

Thanks for all of the advice. For the post which queried my priority in life - I have not always been in the position where i could give up but my children are a huge part of my life. Now i am in a position to quit work and support them from now until grown up. I just find it very hard to walk away from a job .

My mum worked from when we were quite little, part time for years and years so still generally there to pick us up from school, and then full time when we were older teenagers and a bit more self sufficient.

I just want to reassure you that its entirely possible to work AND be a good mum who supports her children and that you don't need to let other people's silly ideas make you feel guilty for enjoying having a life outside your family. After all, is it really that vital that you be at home 'for your kids' when they're at school for 7 hours every day and not actually there to benefit?

If anything, I'm really pleased that my mum didn't give up work, now that we've all left home she's still got about 15 years (or more) left before retirement and she's in a job she loves that keeps her young and energised. I'd hate for her to feel that her only purpose in life after giving birth was to devote herself entirely to us and sacrifice everything else about herself.

After all, nobody ever expects dads to give up work in order to be good parents!

jackyann

So much depends on individual circumstances, including dads' situation (quite a lot of sahds now) and the involvement of extended family as well as finances & type of career / job.
This is a sterile & unhelpful debate - I feel women should support & help each other. I said this when the sahm / working mum debate popped up on the pensions forum ( "I have paid taxes all my life, why should women who stayed at home get a state pension?" !!!!!! !?!?)
Don't let's get sucked in, just offer our different perspectives.

mildred1978

Person_one wrote: »

I just want to reassure you that its entirely possible to work AND be a good mum who supports her children and that you don't need to let other people's silly ideas make you feel guilty for enjoying having a life outside your family. After all, is it really that vital that you be at home 'for your kids' when they're at school for 7 hours every day and not actually there to benefit?

My mother was always more career-driven than my dad, so he did most of the childcare. As both were involved in the education sector we didn't have issues about school holidays, but when either my sister or I were ill we'd have to go to work with them. Not really ideal.

Person_one

mildred1978 wrote: »

My mother was always more career-driven than my dad, so he did most of the childcare. As both were involved in the education sector we didn't have issues about school holidays, but when either my sister or I were ill we'd have to go to work with them. Not really ideal.

I don't think parents should have to give up careers just to be prepared for the occasional day when their normally healthy child has a bug though!

All parents (male or female) are now entitled to carers leave if their children need them at home I think.

mildred1978

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think parents should have to give up careers just to be prepared for the occasional day when their normally healthy child has a bug though!

All parents (male or female) are now entitled to carers leave if their children need them at home I think.

Not quite. There's parental leave, which is unpaid and can only be taken in whole weeks (booked in advance). Emergency leave is only meant to be for emergencies, and to make arrangements for whatever the emergency is. So you couldn't be off for a week for a child with chicken pox, for example.

I think you underestimate how many bugs kids get!!