What if...wife expecting other mans baby but still living with hubby at home

heartbreak_star

I think, in the words of J. Kyle, that the wife and her new bit need to learn how to use contraception until they have a home of their own and her divorce is sorted.

If I was your friend, I'd take advantage of the half-hour of free advice most solicitors give, and try to wrangle a letter asking for half the joint account money back

From now on, he should only pay half of everything and be paid into his own bank account. Incidentally, why can't the wife move in with her bit? Is he married too?

(Gosh I'm in a harsh mood today! Sorry to any offended!)

HBS x

LandyAndy

heartbreak_star wrote: »

i think, in the words of j. Kyle, that the wife and her new bit need to learn how to use contraception until they have a home of their own and her divorce is sorted.

bit late for that.;)

if i was your friend, i'd take advantage of the half-hour of free advice most solicitors give, and try to wrangle a letter asking for half the joint account money back

that's not going to happen. It all belonged to both of them, not half each.

from now on, he should only pay half of everything and be paid into his own bank account. Incidentally, why can't the wife move in with her bit? Is he married too?

(gosh i'm in a harsh mood today! Sorry to any offended!)

hbs x

. .

heartbreak_star

I know the joint account belongs to both, but sometimes it's possible to claw some back under certain circumstances.

And at least I didn't suggest harsher things.

HBS x

bridgedino

Thanks for your replies. It certainly does compare to East Enders, Interesting the bit about a child that is not yours but born in wedlock is regarded as yours. We (friends and family) hoping he will get to a solicitor soon, but he needs to get some monies together. But it will be helpful to make a list of questions to ask the solicitor. The house in joint names but he pays mortgage and bills, even though she works not quite full time hours. Can't afford to leave but at same time can't see her agreeing or sticking to financial agreement, whereby they share the bills. There's a lot more that has gone on but don't want to mention it on here but would be helpful if anyone can suggest what to ask the solicitor.

Mojisola

It's worth looking at the fathers' support groups like Families Need Fathers. There will be others who have had the same experience.

bridgedino

Thanks Mojisola, I've emailed details to him

DS4215

According to statistics, a sizeable proportion of children are not fathered by the person who was in a relationship with the mum at the time of conception. IIRC its somewhere around 10%.

The chances are if the wife was naughty and kept it quiet it would only come to light if genetic testing was performed at a later date...

fluffnutter

bridgedino wrote: »

Friend's wife has been having an affair and may be pregnant, def not friend's. They have young children of their own. Marriage has broken down but neither can afford to move out of joint home. Friend doesn't know what to do next, can't go to solicitor as yet as wife cleared out joint account. If she is pregnant and has the baby, could friend barr the father from visiting the baby in the marital home?

Has anyone been in similar position. Hopefully he be able to save a little money over the next few months to go see a solicitor but having done a little research, if he wanted to proceed with divorce based on her adultery, he would have to do so within six months.

Any advice or guidance would be appreciated

How would this ever work??

"Hiya, love. I've got dinner on the table but just to let you know Dave's coming round at 8 to see the baby. All right?"

If she's still 'in the marital home' despite having given birth to another man's baby, your mate's got more to worry about than some fella popping round now and then to see his kid. Like his entire marriage.

First things first, she needs to DO A PREGNANCY TEST. Then they need to sort out whether their marriage can survive this. Preferably before the poor baby's born.

fluffnutter

DS4215 wrote: »

According to statistics, a sizeable proportion of children are not fathered by the person who was in a relationship with the mum at the time of conception. IIRC its somewhere around 10%.

The chances are if the wife was naughty and kept it quiet it would only come to light if genetic testing was performed at a later date...

Totally agree. Thing is in this situation is that I get the impression that it can't possibly be the husband's (I assume because they've not had sex for ages). The stats you quote are for families where the husband never finds out, because there's actually a chance that the baby could be his.