Please help with 15yr old self harming and anxiety attacks

Millie2008_2

Sorry you are all going through this

Echo the advice to go back to a different GP and try to push for a referral to CAMHS for an assessment in the first instance. His behaviour may be down to severe anxiety, but it is important that you get an accurate picture so he can get the right sort of help

In the meantime, you are doing the right thing in keeping lines of communication open, so keep talking to him and encouraging him to talk to you

Js_Other_Half

These people might be worth contacting? http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

SqueekyMouse

Just another thought...

I think its very important to keep school informed as much as possible and see if they could help. You've mentioned 2 school based triggers for his anxiety attacks - exam and eye contact in drama lesson. Is he aware of any other situations where he's felt anxious but didn't have a full blown panic attack? Can you draw any conclusions about what sort of environments/activities cause him anxiety and is there anything the school to do to minimise this stress?

For example I had a problem with large rooms, so doing exams in the school hall was terrifying for me. Even school assemblies were scary enough for me to fake illness so I could avoid having to go and I actually missed whole days of school when the problem was just the first 10 minutes :eek: - If only someone had spoken to me and asked what would make things easier for me. Eventually the school let me sit nearest the door so I felt I had an escape route and it helped a lot.

I am not advising for you to remove him from situations which cause anxiety, however, because that will only make it harder to normalise these situations in the future, just to make him more comfortable in whatever ways you can and enable him to still participate where possible

coinxoperated

I would definately suggest going back to the GP. If no help is given, it may worth ringing NSPCC or Social Services who will be able to help you find services that can help you both. Social Services and NSPCC are not just there to take your kids away, but also offer excellent support. They are able to point you in the direction of charitys and other places such as CAHMS which will be able to help you so much. x

Penny-Pincher!!

This is a current faze in most secondary schools. A high majority of kids from age 11+ are self harming and scratching themselves or writing into their arms to kind of show off and see who's the toughest.

IMO the GP needs to be informed and you can be guided from there.

mfwbutneedhelp

Im a psych nurse, gp is ur first port of call... Ask to be referred to cahms ( child and adolescent mental health services) self harm has many purposes and used differently by each person and rarely to look harder as another person has posted, the anxiety potentially maybe contributing to the need to do this and also occurs for numerous reasons which a trained prodessional can help to look into. Your area should have a similar service, alternatively sites like e couch and mood gym may or may not be helpful, depending on underling issues, relaxation and distractional techniques are key in managing anxiety mindfulness and grounding also effective technoques. Lots of information can be found about how to do this on net. Hope this helps remember early intervention is key xxx

amyloofoo

Hi OP,

this must be really distessing for you, but your son is at the age when a lot of mental illnesses first begin to be noticed and also with hormones and social anxiety it's a difficult age for people who don't have a longstanding mental health condition too. It might be worth finding out the details for your local CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service). Most would ask that your son is referred by a GP, social worker or school health professional, but some will let you self-refer so it might be worth seeing if you can have him assessed without going back to the GP which may well be upsetting.

Some GPs are notoriously flippant at engaging with teenagers who're experiencing mental distress, if you're unhappy with how you were treated (and I certainly would be) then complain and see another GP, or ask if the school has a nurse or counsellor you could speak to. It seems that Facebook is being a really unhealthy influence on your son, so I'd talk to him and explain that you think it might be a good time to take a break from posting or reading messages. I know it's tempting to do as some other posters have suggested and 'ban' him from it (and I was somewhat concerned to read that you'd logged into his account and deleted messages, presumably without his consent) but this could be counterproductive as then you will alienate him from you, meaning he may not share any future issues with you. Does he have a close friend who is supportive? Maybe you could get them on board.

In terms of treatment for teens with anxiety, I would be extremely wary of doctor whose only thought is to medicate. Whilst medication can be a useful tool in controlling the symptoms of anxiety, in order to tackle this and his self-destructive behaviours long term, a talking therapy such as CBT would be much more productive (and with fewer risks and side effects). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is available on the NHS and should be offered to all those with a recognised mental health condition who would benefit, however in reality, you will have to ask and possibly be quite insistent in order to get him on the waiting list.

Treating anxiety in someone your son's age with medication is tricky as many of the established treatments are not suitable for children and are highly addictive with a list of side-effects the length of my arm. If he is prescribed anything, read through the medication warning sheet with him, let him know that he needs to let you know immediately if he's experiencing symptoms such as hopelessness, lack of control or a desire to harm himself and keep a close eye on him. Unfortunately there has been shown to be a strong interaction between psychiatric medication and suicide in young people, particularly young men; so although I don't want to worry you unduly, this is not something to get into with your eyes closed.

If he is put on medication, make sure he's being followed up by a specialist mental health service. Many areas have crisis resolution teams which are able a to make visits in your own home and give a phone number to call if a difficult situation arises. I'm not sure if the crisis resolution teams will routinely take referrals relating to under 18s, but your local health professional should know and be able to help. As other posters have suggested, there are other groups such as Mind which may be able to help in your area.

Shovel_Lad

Personally, I would think very hard before trying to keep him off Facebook because of the message that may send him. Despite some negative responses, he may be seeing it as the only way he can vocalise how he is feeling at present and is using it as a vital source of support. Removing this outlet may make him even more anxious and less likely to accept any help you offer. He may even see it as a punishment for being open and discussing his problems.

There are varying degrees of anxiety and panic attacks, and self-harming can be done for many different reasons, very few of them are for "macho" causes. It can be a once only event, or it can recur throughout a lifetime; there is no "one size fits all" solution.

I think the first step is to try and understand what your son is going through. I would highly recommend reading the information on these topics on the Mind website, specifically Understanding Anxiety:http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/anxiety and Self-Harm: http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/self-harm but there are plenty of other useful pages there too.

If you see a doctor again, it can be a good idea before you go to make a note of all the events as you see them as well as any questions you might have and then refer to these notes when talking to the GP. This helps keep your own thoughts in order during a difficult and stressful time. It may even be something you could write in conjunction with your son if you feel he would react positively to that.

johnswife

Golly takes me back 7 years when my daughter had problems.
Our Doctor was very reluctant to prescribe medication and said it was very difficult to get her an appointment with cahms.
By chance my friends son was having an assessment at school and I rang the relevant department and she agreed to see my daughter. She was so worried about her she wrote a letter on my behalf to get her an appointment. Unfortunately they said there was a waiting list so she wrote another letter which worked.
My daughter also couldn't sit in a big hall to do her GCSE's so she sat in a room by herself.
The sessions didn't work for my daughter and eventually she did have medication which for her has worked.
She is living away from home, at university, got a part time job and making new friends.
I spoke to her last week and I had a big smile on my face, she is happy and that means so am I.
What works for one person may not work for another but I wish you luck with your son and hope you get the help you need.

DVardysShadow

hollyh wrote: »

Yesterdays was because he was in drama and they had to do an exercise using only eye contact and he freaked out.

Well, I doubt he was faking it. A faker would probably really enjoy an exercise like this in drama. Actually for teens, I think that this may be an exercise too far.