Changing Day out with children?

Person_one

blondy24 wrote: »

I have thought about the respect issue for my car for a while, they have been told off before for climbing over each other to sit in the middle at the back of the car or leaning on it.

Erm, do these things hurt your car?

cutestkids

I am guessing you do not actually have kids yourself, you seem to be picking up on little things that in fact is just a part of life with kids.

Teenagers by design dont talk to us if they dont have to.

You really need to take a step back as you seem to be reacting to what is normal kids behaviour in a very petty and imature way.

Sambucus_Nigra

blondy24 wrote: »

Then when a teenager sits there and doesn't talk after the first half an hour it is hard to feel upbeat about situ as I feel that I constantly make an effort to communicate and provide for them.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Just the first half an hour?

With teenagers you just have to get on with your life, let them get on with theirs and shove something edible their way around food time. Even more so with other people's kids.

However teenagers have a different view of 'quality time' - we stopped spending a fortune taking DSD anywhere 'nice' at weekends because of the whingeing. So unless she is going to a party or meeting up with friends, or a family meetup - then we just carry on doing what we want and let her do what she wants.

heretolearn_2

Do they actually damage your car or are they just getting a bit big and clumsy and not being the perfect cute little kids any more? I can't see how how climbing over each other, or just leaning on your car, can cause much harm. These are very petty things to get hung up about. My car's passenger seat is stuck in place and no longer slides forwards/backwards to let anyone get in the back that side (3 door) since my stepsons decided to climb into the rear while using the back of the folded down seat as a step one time. Yes, I was a bit annoyed but they didn't mean to damage it and I wouldn't have thought it would have hurt it either. Just one of those things that happen when you have kids around. They 'disrespect' your car - they touch it in ways you don't want them to but don't actually harm it? Don't be silly.

Teenagers are almost all horrible to their nearest and dearest for a few years at times. It's like your lovely child has been replaced by an alien interloper who thinks you are the most stupid/boring person on the planet. Such is life. Ignore it.

Gratitude - I agree it's only good manners to say thank you to the person who has cooked your dinner/done stuff for you. But kids learn their manners from the adults around them. Does your other half ever say 'that was a lovely dinner, thank you' to you, in front of them? They won't learn to be more polite than their parents are. OH should also remind them of these things if they forget.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I'm not really. Teenagers are hard and other people's teenagers are harder. Just pick your battles. I wonder if all this was maybe triggered by feeling that OH doesn't appreciate how much you do for his kids?

Emmzi

do they get any time just with your OH or are you always there?

ellay864

Oh the joy of step-parenting teenagers! I've got that t-shirt, my DHs kids took ages before they actually seemed human to me lol And I have 2 boys the same age so it wasn't like I wasn't used to kids. But mine lived with me and so saw loads of DH from when we first started going out; his didn't see so much of me and for ages did resent the fact their dad had moved on with his life (they were shielded from the fact it was their mum who'd done the dirty and cheated on him).
Do you live very far from them? In our case they lived about an hour from where we do but close to where DH works. When they got to be teenagers he let them decide when they saw him - it meant they weren't forced into sitting doing something they didn't want to do, they could get a bus or train over if they wanted, or he could go see them after work. It was never a case of him getting out of seeing them, more recognising that they were growing up and didn't need to spend their weekends doing something they didn't want to just because that's what the rules were.
I do think too you're being a bit uptight about the car and it's not fair to just spring that on them just cos you had a bad day!

lolavix

Sorry if I sound harsh but that's just the way kids are. My OH has a son, I don't expect him to say thank you everyone I cook his dinner or tidy up after him, I just do it.

I think you're taking things a bit too personally, I know it's hard but remember you're not their mum and they've probably found it all difficult too.

FBaby

Emmzi wrote: »

do they get any time just with your OH or are you always there?

My thought too. How long have you been with oh? Most older kids/teenagers would want to spend time with the nrp alone at least at times. If that is the case but feel it is because you don't allow it they could be resenting you hence the attitude. Couldn't your oh take them if you don't want to go?

blondy24

Hi, my OH can't take them out in the car on his own as only just learnt to drive. I have told OH he can have the evening with the children tonight and going to spend sometime on my own.

Emmzi

blondy24 wrote: »

Hi, my OH can't take them out in the car on his own as only just learnt to drive.

pphtt. If he has passed his test let him go in the car, it's only a damn car!