my nearly 3 year old nephew not talking

tea_lover

I wouldn't talk till I went to school (at 4 and a half). I can vividly remember many afternoons with the speech therapist when I was about 3, and lots of hearing tests.

My hearing's fine, and I never shut up now! I was just slow to get going. I knew what people were saying, I just kind of didn't get that I was supposed to respond:o.

jackieb

LandyAndy wrote: »

That was my first thought when I read the OP but with MrsLA's work I tend to see it because I'm looking for it, IYSWIM.:)

FWIW our elder son didn't talk until quite late and then started with sentences.

Two of mine have been diagnosed with Asperger's and one with dyspraxia, and when they were being tested I was always asked about their early development - in fact the majority of questions were about how they were under the age of 5, including speech. At nursery they asked to test one of my son's hearing as they thought he might be deaf - it turned out his hearing was fine (apart from being hypersensitive) and he was just ignoring people when they spoke to him.

But as already said, all children are different, and chances are his speech will develop fine in time.

Penny-Pincher!!

Main questions are:

How is his hearing?
How is he communicating?
Does everyone else communicate for him?
Is he trying to talk at all?

I would have his ears checked first if it was me.

He may need some basic speech therapy which can be looked up on the internet.

PP
xx

Seanymph

My youngest didn't speak until she was about 4 - she had me and her big sister fetching and carrying, so she never needed to.

She also then didn't shut up.

I hope your relative doesn't feel as judged by her family as your post comes across. If she, as his parent, isn't worried then really you should have more confidence in her.

Mum's generally know when something is wrong and set about addressing it in a major way.

My daughter too started talking with full sentences once she hit a point in the education system where she needed speech to get things she wanted - and 14 years later is still driving us mad!

He'll get there.

conradmum

I think it depends what you mean by not talking. If it's literally nothing at all, not even 'mummy' then there may be cause for concern. Many children don't fit the norm regarding talking and then go on to be absolutely fine. With others it's a symptom of an underlying issue. If he does have a problem of some kind then early intervention is likely to be helpful, so I'd say you should take this further if you're very worried.

fluffnutter

He needs to be seen by the HV or a doctor. Chances are everything's fine, but they'll want to check for hearing problems, development disorders and conditions on the autism spectrum.

I don't want to alarm you, but personally I think a three year old who says no words at all needs a quick visit to the quack's.

lily76

My son is 21 months now and would not talk at all even though he does make a lot of dadadada noise and he does not walk on his own. The problem was raised by his physiotherapist who said he is supposed to say 50 words and referred us to her colleague the speech therapist. What worries me is that he does not point to things that he wants and likes using my hand to reach them or looks at them waiting for me to find out. I did say my concern with his physiotherapist but she does not suggest me to think anything about autism at this stage or google too much just to get my self worried. I am doing a research of local nurseries and teach him to point things now.

Nicki

Not wanting to speak to the whole family about this doesn't make mum in denial, or mean that she isn't doing anything about it. In fact she has spoken to one family member so the issue is clearly on her radar. My DS had bad nappy rash when he was younger, and had several visits to GP for antifungal creams as his bum was red raw. That wasn't something I discussed with my whole family though (or possibly any of it, I can't remember) but it didnt mean it wasn't being monitored and action taken when necessary.

From OP'd description, the child is communicating just not verbally. Kids on the autistic spectrum very rarely point at that age. It is one of the diagnostic signs they look for with a child where there are other concerns. There is also a wide range of "not communicating". The child may well be communicating in one word blocks which are not completely clear and distinct to a relative who sees him fairly infrequently, and therefore have a slight delay but be within normal parameters.

OP can be in the background as a supportive aunt, but it's really for the mother and father to make decisions about whether the child does need extra support or not, and what form this should take. And if OP isn't the family member in whom they have chosen to confide, she might be better off channelling her suggestions through that family member rather than wading in to what could be a sensitive situation.

pinkclouds

Perfectly normal to be clingy, particularly with mommy. If he gets what he wants by pointing, expectation of habits or that popular "baby sign" stuff then of course he won't bother to spell it out in words. If he is in good health and there is nothing obviously wrong with him then he's probably fine. The best thing to encourage him to verbalise is to talk to him - in real "grown up" language - whenever you see him and to say what you're doing. I bet you are at least as guilty as mom of responding to a mute request for a carry, by reacting to a pair of outstretched arms, and reaching for a tissue to wipe a sniffle/clean face without him needing to say a single word. When he mingles with more children (nursery, school or additional siblings) then he will naturally talk more.

Marmaduke123

There is a cause for concern if a child really isn't talking at all by the age of almost three.

Does he understand what people say to him? That's equally, if not more important.

If he has a real speech and language difficulty it's important to encourage communication in any way possible, including pointing, gesturing, facial expression and whatever else he can do. Then adults should say the words he would say if he could, not in long adult sentences but in very short phrases - 'want biscuit', 'get down' etc.

He really needs to be checked out though, your relative might have received a lot of well meaning reassurance (even from professionals) similar to what's on this thread but should insist on a referral to a speech and language therapist if that's so. The speech and language therapist will be able to determine whether there really is a problem or not, and give informed advice.

Of course, everything may be in hand and OP does need to be very sensitive in raising the issue, if that's what she decides to do.