Benefits to being married?

Going4TheDream

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

This happened to a friend of mine. Her partner's mother never liked her. Although her partner died of cancer, it was just 9 weeks after diagnosis. Though he knew it was terminal, they were led to believe that he had at least a year. He decided to start chemo and then do a will when he was feeling more up to it. Sadly he died before this.

My friend and her partner discussed his funeral and what he wanted to happen. In the event, his mum organised the whole thing and it was completely different. Where he told G. that he wanted to be cremated, his mum decided to go for a burial. This was very upsetting for G.

Worse was to come though. They had sold their flat and moved into a rental while the house they were buying was built. The money was in his account, and initally all of it went to his mum. My friend had to prove that half of it belonged to her and was not able to have the full amount. Even though they had lived together for years, his mum ended up with half of the money. Without the full amount she could not afford to buy they house, so ended up having to buy something much smaller.

G. also had taken out a car loan in her name but the car was actually registered in her partners name. Again, she had to prove this and had to involve solicitors as his mum inherited the car and G. still had the debt!

So I would say that marriage is very important.

That is very sad , my undertanding is that the situation was more to do with him dying intestate rather than being married. My boyfriends dad died and although his dad and his mum were married she had similar problems as he also died intestate. He was 56, walked down the street to tax the car and dropped dead at the bottom of the road, gone in seconds.

His grandma was legally entitled to a proportion of the estate (cash.shares,bonds etc that were in his name (not the house) and also his brothers rather than his mum getting everything, which could well have been the case if a will was in place.

I didnt get involved fully so only know the outline and I dont know if his mum kept the house by negotiation or whether she kept it as it was in joint names or whether she got less of a share in the cash/bond/shares because she kept the house but she did not automatically get everything as there was no will and the law decided

Seemingly in the abscence of a will, (in his dads case) the law has guidelines that they follow and apply, and how the estate is allocated will be dependant upon any remaining living blood relatives and this is all considered.

I could be wrong but it seems that having a will would have alleviated the situations in both cases rather than just a case of being married? Although being married and having a will is probably the best situation to be in should should there be a bereavment.

Marisco

Doesn't the above only happen if the estate is over a certain amount? I thought the wife got the first 2 or 3 hundred thousand, and the rest is divided between the kids, with half of that going to the wife as well? I'm probably wrong, but I'm sure I've read something to that effect??

CRANKY40

I'm a widow. If I hadn't married my husband I wouldn't have received a bereavement allowance when he died, and I also wouldn't be receiving widowed parents allowance for my son.

This might not seem like a great deal, but in some of my friend's cases, their husbands were diagnosed with forms of cancer, and at this point, life insurance is pretty much impossible to obtain.

So yes, there is a benefit to being married if you have children.

margaretclare

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I believe if you were born before 1935, you can still claim it, although there are lots of caveats in there.

One of you must have been born before April 1935.

We still get it because DH was born in December 1934. Although initially it goes to the husband, as we each have pensions income individually, we can share the allowance - it is split between us.

margaretclare

Marisco wrote: »

Well if I got married to oh I would get a lot less state pension than I get now:D I did look into it before I retired, as we had been living together for 16 years prior to retiring, but as it was not financially viable, we didn't bother

How does that work, then?

We each get full state pension in our own right, plus pensions based on our previous careers. Being married/not married makes no difference to that.

Going4TheDream

Marisco wrote: »

Doesn't the above only happen if the estate is over a certain amount? I thought the wife got the first 2 or 3 hundred thousand, and the rest is divided between the kids, with half of that going to the wife as well? I'm probably wrong, but I'm sure I've read something to that effect??

You could very well be right, as I said I didnt know the full ins and outs, only that his wife didnt automtically get everything and the gran and the dads brothers also were entitled to a share. I do know that the house was worth over £250k at the time and it turned out he wasnt short of a few quid and they when they were sorting through the assets they found a substantial amount of shares that he had held for years that even his wife wasnt aware of.

We were told that having a will would have avoided the issues as that dying intestate in never good

Marisco

margaretclare wrote: »

How does that work, then?

We each get full state pension in our own right, plus pensions based on our previous careers. Being married/not married makes no difference to that.

I don't get a private pension. I also get some from my ex husbands' NI, but if I got married I'd lose that. I didn't have the full amount because of being a SAHM. I did look into it before I retired, with a view to getting married purely for the legalities. I don't know the nuts and bolts of it, all I know is if I got married I'd get less pension.

Mojisola

Going4TheDream wrote: »

My boyfriends dad died and although his dad and his mum were married she had similar problems as he also died intestate.

His grandma was legally entitled to a proportion of the estate (cash.shares,bonds etc that were in his name (not the house) and also his brothers rather than his mum getting everything, which could well have been the case if a will was in place.

Going4TheDream wrote: »

You could very well be right, as I said I didnt know the full ins and outs, only that his wife didnt automtically get everything and the gran and the dads brothers also were entitled to a share.

I don't understand this. Under the intestacy rules, a spouse and children take precedence. I can't see any way that his mother and brothers were entitled to anything.

https://www.youngandpearce.co.uk/intestrules.htm
Married person with children
* Spouse gets everything up to *£250,000 & personal possessions.
* Anything remaining is divided into two:-
o Half to the children at 18 or earlier marriage.
o Half in trust during spouse's lifetime - he or she gets the income. On spouse's death this half goes to the children.

Married person, no children
* If there are parents, brothers or sisters of the whole blood, nephew or nieces:-
o Spouse gets everything up to *£450,000 & personal possessions.
* Anything remaining is divided into two:-
o Half of this goes to spouse
o Half to parents. If no parent is living then it goes to brothers or sisters or their children.

Going4TheDream

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't understand this. Under the intestacy rules, a spouse and children take precedence. I can't see any way that his mother and brothers were entitled to anything.

www.youngandpearce.co.uk/intestrules.htm
Married person with children
* Spouse gets everything up to *£250,000 & personal possessions.
* Anything remaining is divided into two:-
o Half to the children at 18 or earlier marriage.
o Half in trust during spouse's lifetime - he or she gets the income. On spouse's death this half goes to the children.

Married person, no children
* If there are parents, brothers or sisters of the whole blood, nephew or nieces:-
o Spouse gets everything up to *£450,000 & personal possessions.
* Anything remaining is divided into two:-
o Half of this goes to spouse
o Half to parents. If no parent is living then it goes to brothers or sisters or their children.

Thanks that is intereting to know, as I have said I dont know the full ins and outs, apart from what I have said with with exception that my boyfriend was not his son but a step son, had been bought up by his mum and his step dad from the age of one, he was treated as a son though and his mum and dad never had any children together, he was an only child. He was given a sum of money, which may have come from his mothers portion and likewise his dad's brother also was given a sum, even though their mother was alive.

Looking at your comments it would seem that his dad would have fallen in to the married no children category section maybe, I know there was a lot of money involved and really didnt get involved in the nitty gritty of it all

I was relating this story in repsonse to another poster whose friends partner died but wasnt married and how his mother then took half of the estate, the similarity with both being that both died intestate and perhaps the wishes of the deceased were not carried out because of this, and that being married alone is not always an indicator that the wishes will be carried out, and that being both married and having a will seem to be the way to ensure that.

All this has made me realise that I really need to sort out a will though

Mojisola

Going4TheDream wrote: »

apart from what I have said with with exception that my boyfriend was not his son but a step son, had been bought up by his mum and his step dad from the age of one, he was treated as a son though and his mum and dad never had any children together, he was an only child. He was given a sum of money, which may have come from his mothers portion.

Looking at your comments it would seem that his dad would have fallen in to the married no children category section

That's the vital fact. If you die intestate, only blood relations can inherit.

I still don't see how his brothers were entitled to anything unless their mother passed some of her inheritance to them.