Am I being overprotective

rokchic

My dd is 8, Am I wrong for not letting her walk to shop on her own or with other kids of her age,

bit of background, local shop is about 10 mins walk away with her short legs She has to cross 2 roads and the first in on a dangerous corner that cars go haring around, she is not street wise at all and try as I may still cannot grasp exactly the crossing road safely thing.

I have also tried to drum into her to not talk to strangers ever !! But lo and behold only the other day caught her and the neighbours children ( who are all round the same age ) chatting to passing strangers whilst in our front garden, one with a dog and when asked why after being told not to, the answer from all was we wanted to stroke the dog !!

She also has an absent, violent father that she has nothing to do with ( long story ) that I'm not sure if he still lives in our local area but over the last year or so I have seen him on our street at least 3 times :mad:

So am I being overprotective ?

the_cat

rokchic wrote: »

So am I being overprotective ?

Given all the points of concern raised, absolutely not!

fluffnutter

No, not by the sounds of it. TBH, for me it's not the stranger thing, it's the fact that she can't be trusted yet to cross a road safely! 8's still pretty young and it really depends on the child. If she's not ready, she's not ready.

balletshoes

nope, until she at least knows and practices not to speak to strangers and how to cross a road safely, she's not responsible enough to walk to the shops without you.

j.e.j.

I'd say maybe, maybe not. There's always the argument that if you shield the child too much they will never get 'streetwise'. And I doubt whether passers-by walking their dog would really have posed much of a threat to the children. It is an uncomfortable fact that on the rare occasion when the unthinkable happens, the perpetrator is usually someone known to the victim/child.

As for crossing the road on her own or with others, I guess you are the best judge of that. Is she tall enough to be able to see the cars coming? Can she gauge distance and speed yet? The thing is, if she's with other children and she is always the only one not allowed to do stuff it won't be long before she starts to get embarrassed by the restrictions imposed on her, and only her.

patchwork_cat

Only you know the answer to that as we don't know your exact situation. However, with everything that you have said I would say no, you aren't being overprotective.

Our local shop is at the bottom of our road, but on the other side of another road. We are not far from the bypass and frankly the cars hare up the road, so I too didn't let my DD cross to the shop until Yr 6.

As for the 'stranger' that is hard. My DD laughingly pointed out to me how many contradictions there are in teh don't talk to strangers directive. ( She is now 14 and was laughingly pointing this out) we say don't talk to strangers, but if she snubbed an old lady on the bus wanting to chat and didn't help someone struggling we would be disappointed!

We don't want them to be rude and expect them to smile and exchange pleasantries with people, but tell them not to talk to strangers.

I remember being a bit perturbed when my DD was about 10 she was playing at the top of our cul de sac with her friend and an old man at the top (who we don't know) asked her and her friend to help catch his geese! This is true! They helped him and all was fine ofcourse! However I was a bit, but you don't know him and she was yes he is the man at the top of the road!

Very hard when you think about Soham.

raven83

Definitely not, my oldest daughter is 9 and a half and very mature for her age but i would not let her walk to the shops on her own.

POPPYOSCAR

raven83 wrote: »

Definitely not, my oldest daughter is 9 and a half and very mature for her age but i would not let her walk to the shops on her own.

I agree.

Call me overprotective but I do not like even my 15 year old going anywhere on her own, even though I know at times she has to and she does.

She often says she will walk through the woods to come home and I strictly forbid it.

At eight she did not go anywhere on her own.

raven83

I've also told my daughter when she asks why she isn't allowed, that it isn't her that i don't trust but it is other people, and while i would have no worries about her crossing a road etc it is other people that i am worried about.

POPPYOSCAR

raven83 wrote: »

I've also told my daughter when she asks why she isn't allowed, that it isn't her that i don't trust but it is other people, and while i would have no worries about her crossing a road etc it is other people that i am worried about.[/QUOTE]

Precisely.

I know others will say, but it is such a rare occurrence. I do not want my daughter to be that 'rare occurrence' so would rather lessen the chance if I can.

PasturesNew

She's not old enough - especially with the two roads and no sense of Stranger Danger.

A compromise, which my mum used to do, was that you could say she can ONLY go if she comes and asks you first.... then you follow her, out of sight. I used to go out every Tuesday night, 200 yards away, but round a corner .... with my sister and our neighbour's girl (2 years older than me), so we were about 7/9/11 - mum told me a few years later that she'd go down and watch us through the bush until we left.