Average size of women-a statistic that does more harm than good.

Nottoobadyet

I find if I eat reasonably and exercise occasionally Im a size 12 or so. When I eat particularly well and exercise regularly Im an 8 or so. I certainly feel better when I manage the latter, and that's all I need to know really.

I'm flat chested but not a waif. My sister lucked out on the bosom genes and would never fit an 8 without starving herself. I dont think shes less healthy and certainly is better looking in the figure department than me, though I'd guess shes about a 16 or so.

*max*

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I have read this quite differently and I am struggling to see what is offensive about it - I have people I have known who have said this sort of thing to me - " with what you have to put up with, I really appreciate my health" etc and I see it as supportive and a positive learning experience for the person concerned. I am glad I have inadvertantly helped them appreciate their own good fortune. And it is said to me in an a respectful way.
I can't image the op would go up to strangers and say it - she was responding to someone she was having a dialogue with on here

I sincerely hope it was just a terribly unfortunate turn of phrase. It did shock me though, especially the "people like you" bit, and I would never even think of saying that to someone anyway. It's just rubbing it in, in my opinion; the same as saying "I'm so glad I'm not you", which is demeaning and hurtful especially when the problem cannot be helped.

Brighton_belle

*max* wrote: »

I sincerely hope it was just a terribly unfortunate turn of phrase. It did shock me though, especially the "people like you" bit, and I would never even think of saying that to someone anyway. It's just rubbing it in, in my opinion; the same as saying "I'm so glad I'm not you", which is demeaning and hurtful especially when the problem cannot be helped.

yeah, i totally get what your saying but i just did think it was a poor turn of phrase - it is easy to unintentionally use not quite the right word etc online. It was unfortunate on the back of the pictures which I did find a tad offensive.But I think it might be clumsiness.

adouglasmhor

FBaby wrote: »

That's the equivalent of one healthy breakfast and that's about it. No drinks but water. I very much doubt that you would remain a healthy weight having so little. People inevitably underestimate their calories intake like forgetting to add all their cups of tea of coffee which can add a few hundreds calories.

A cup of tea's 8 calories with whole milk. a cup of ordinary coffee with milk is about 9 (and in both of these at elst half the calories come form the whole milk, drink it black tea is about 3 and coffee about 4). So unless you are drinking over 20 cups a day it's not hundred's of calories is it?

Wherever you got your info from it's wrong.

Tiddlywinks

sophief333 wrote: »

I'm the same!

For me its not so much about how I look (although I would hate to look fat!), its all about my life style. I cant imagine a life of sitting on my a** doing f*** all! Seriously, I would be suicidal!

I am so passionate about being outside and making the most of my life. I mountain bike, rock climb, run, swim, walk, play sports! And then I go for a burger after!

Brighton_belle wrote: »

yeah, i totally get what your saying but i just did think it was a poor turn of phrase - it is easy to unintentionally use not quite the right word etc online. It was unfortunate on the back of the pictures which I did find a tad offensive.But I think it might be clumsiness.

No - sorry - I don't think this poster is just clumsy with words. S/he chose to post this picture - why? What was the message? Using pictures of men missing limbs to prove a point - nice.

Then s/he went on to post a link to a wheelchair user taking part in winter sports - again, why is this relevant to the thread.

The inference I have taken from the poster's replies which include those to another poster (who spoke of a disability now limiting activities) is that s/he has no real appreciation that sometimes 'mind over matter' is not and never can be the answer in approaching exercise. Sometimes, just sometimes, just getting through daily tasks is challenging enough - you don't have anything left to climb moutains, ski or whatever... that's not being idle - that's called having a life limiting condition.

Gloomendoom

adouglasmhor wrote: »

A cup of tea's 8 calories with whole milk. a cup of ordinary coffee with milk is about 9 (and in both of these at elst half the calories come form the whole milk, drink it black tea is about 3 and coffee about 4). So unless you are drinking over 20 cups a day it's not hundred's of calories is it?

Wherever you got your info from it's wrong.

I thought the same thing. If you take your coffee or tea without milk and sugar, the calories are virtually zero.

Brighton_belle

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

No - sorry - I don't think this poster is just clumsy with words. S/he chose to post this picture - why? What was the message? Using pictures of men missing limbs to prove a point - nice.

I agree with you on your other points raised - my reference to 'clumsy with words' was made in direct reference to the OP using the term ' people like you' make me appreciate my health as picked up by a few other posters. I do think that phrase was just a bit clumsy, but meant sincerely.

I agree, the 'even if you are disabled some way, unless you are climbing Everest or out training every night you're just making excuses' line of reasoning is extremely wearing. I really would like the OP to remove that 'excuses' picture. It is smug and arrogant and simplistic. But I would like her to remove it because she understands why it is offensive to some, rather than because someone has suggest it.
The man on the left might be a really kind and decent man and the guy on the right, self obsessed and abusive for all we know, but no, lets just judge on appearances and suggest because he is muscled up, he is deserving of praise and the other censure. It can be hard enough facing disability with out the implied, you're not trying hard enough!

I think the poster is probably young and sucessful and has no idea of what it is like to face illness and disabilty of a nature that prevents you from taking regular exercise or frankly remotely concerned about a 6 pack. Hopefully, some of the views expressed here may open her to a new understanding of what it is like and leave her better informed. That would be a great result. Most importantly - don't make assumptions about people because of how they look and err on the side of kindness and thoughtfulness and compassion.

*max*

I actually think the picture is supposed to be of the same guy, kind of a "before and after" pic.

Still, I'm not budging from my previous comments that were about the post rather than about the picture (which, even under that light, I find incredibly simplistic btw).

lostinrates

Ok, as i was the person who the poster doesn't want to be like, i think i should say i think its very healthy not to want to be disabled or ill. or frankly, to be overweight (or underweight)

However, being ill and overweight is not the total sum of my life, even if it is a never forgotten about factor and a limit to things i would like to do. And the lessons i have learned have been significantly...beneficial. Of course, i have to admit i would swap having my preconceptions challenged for being well and arrogant again. But there are plenty of well, able bodied, beautiful and pwrdect weight people I would not want to be like either, so I am not getting too down at that particular comment. It gave rise to the feeling of reciprocation, so all seems well there!

lostinrates

adelight wrote: »

. I've been doing 5 A levels, working 30 hours a week and caring for a loved one and still took care of my health because I am much more useful when I'm healthy and fit.

Interestingly, i also did five a levels in one year, when i was younger, then while doing an undergrad degree held down a job and started a business, whole keeping fit. The same type of person you are now can have everything change for them. Yours is very much the moral stance i used to take...until i ended up in a different situation. In fact, i often find myself wondering what if....did i do too much, wear my batteries too low...is that why it happened to me? I don't know.