Opinions please....

headoutthesand

Would it be wrong of me to ask my ex husband to go halfers with DS1 football fees that have just gone up again?

He pays me maintainence which was reduced about 7 months ago.

Fees have just gone up from £15 to £20 every 4 weeks. Would it be worng for me to ask for half? Should I just be paying for this from the maintainence?.

DS1 been playing football for 3 years and i've always paid it?

I'm on my own with 2 kids, he lives with his partner and it's just the 2 of them with 2 FT wages.

Please don't shoot me down, I'm only looking for some simple replies

NAR

Of course he should pay towards the fees - it is his son too! Maintenance is not meant to cover this, purely basics.

Sally_A

Not an unreasonable request at all.

As kids get older their expenses will increase, also his feet will start growing quicker.

You've not posted anything that suggests your ex is stingy, or impossible to communicate with, and as a good dad he will happily contribute towards a pastime that is beneficial to your son.

Marisco

I suppose it depends on how much maintenance he's paying, and if he pays for anything else for the kids i.e school clothes, shoes, does he have them often etc. If you have an amicable arrangement, by all means ask, even if he only offers a fiver extra, it's something. Instead of asking for half, suggest that as the fees have gone up he might like to contribute something towards them, that way you don't come across as "demanding" (even if your not, he might see it like that!!)

emtsuj

If anything out of the ordinary comes up I always ask my ex if he will pay half and I get a reasonable amount of maintenance. If my son played football I would ask his for half towards the subs but I wouldn't make a big fuss about it if he didn't pay.

We're currently paying half each towards a school trip and a new bike. My ex recently bought him some new swimming shorts and I have bought extra clothes to leave at the ex's house.

headoutthesand

Thanks for all the replies.

I don't think i'd say he's stingy, I'd say he's a tight !!!!!. I was going to ask for money towards the passports for the kids but then changed my mind when I found out he is taking them to Blackpool. He makes me send round food on the days he has them after school so he can given them dinner. If I don't do this, he gives them a biscuit to tide them oer till I get them after work at 6pm.

He doesn't contribute towards school clothing etc. He says his maintainence covers that and i've accepted that but was starting to think that the football fees are different.

I've text him now so I'll wait and see what he says

Desperado99

headoutthesand wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies.

He makes me send round food on the days he has them after school so he can given them dinner. If I don't do this, he gives them a biscuit to tide them oer till I get them after work at 6pm.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: OMG! that IS tight!

There's no harm in asking.......... but based on the above, don't expect it!

headoutthesand

Desperado99 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: OMG! that IS tight!

There's no harm in asking.......... but based on the above, don't expect it!

My solicitor was actually not phased by this at all. She said it's very common just now. Personally I think it's sad. He'll think nothing of his £500 golf fees but grudges buying a packet of fish fingers and a bag of potatoes. It's not like they're scavengers, they're 5 and 7!

I've text him but not had any reply. I've also asked him if he would like to contribute anything he deems appropriate towards the passport fees. I'll not hold my breath......

kingfisherblue

Why was maintenance reduced? Is he paying 20% of his net pay? This is the suggested amount by the CSA, and if they were involved, that is how much they would expet him to pay.

If he is paying the correct amount of maintenance, then he does not legally have to pay anything more. My ex wouldn't pay for anything extra - but then, the CSA had to take my ex to court to get anything! Having said that, I don't think he would make me take food round for my children (but he sees them at his mother's, and she feeds all of them, so the situation has never arisen).

Personally, I wouldn't bother, but I know what my ex's reaction would be. Maybe if he won't contribute, your ex could give vouchers at birthdays and Christmas, to help with the cost of kit and boots.

Mojisola

headoutthesand wrote: »

I've text him but not had any reply. I've also asked him if he would like to contribute anything he deems appropriate towards the passport fees. I'll not hold my breath......

As he's too tight to feed his children, I think you're wasting your time.

From his point of view, he's (presumably) paying you "what the law says" and isn't obliged to spend more.

Also, I think asking him to pay towards the passports when you're suggesting that an extra £5 a month on football subs will be difficult for you is going to get thrown back at you. Can't you hear them talking - "Why should I give more when she's getting them passports and taking them abroad for a holiday?"

Gingham_R

I'd forget the football fees and try to work out a way that you aren't having to run round after him getting food together for his children to eat when they're at his house. Absolute disgrace and something I've seen before, unfortunately. There's no excuse for it in a household where there are extras for the adults.