Did Your OH start earning more once you became a SAHM?

Spendless

I went on maternity in 99 to have eldest. When mat pay ran out we needed more money so I found a p-time evening job. We didn't need to pay for childcare and I did this for 2 years, packing in due to illness in pregnancy with DD.

Since she was born almost 4 years ago I have worked for 6 months on a lunch time.

Meanwhile DH career has taken off. Starting weeks before I had DS, a combination of re-shuffles at work, promotion,above average salary rises, changing jobs and changing departments now means he earns double what he did when we started dating 10 years ago. Within 4 years of DS being born his salary had increased by the same amount of what I was earning when I'd packed in f-time work.

Has anyone else had similar thing happen to them.

squashy

No- the other way round. My DH was unable to work when my son was 10 months old so as a solution I went back to work and he bacame a SAHD. Since then MY career has took off and he works part time and does the school runs, cooks etc.

Having said that- sounds like your DH was very lucky to end up earning enough to cover both your original salaries, can't say we've been quite as fortunate!

hobo28

Since my daughter was born, my career has gone from strength to strength. I think initially at least my ex being a SAHM did help as I could travel which in my industry is essential to get experience.

When I became a single parent I sacrificed promotion opportunities and internal job shuffles to ensure I could still just do office hours and get home to pick kids up etc.

I'm really lucky that I have a company who are really supportive. Another bloke I know, his wife died last year, leaving him with 2 teenagers and a young son and they've also been terrific with him too.

Cruiksl

Hi,

We're in a similar sitatuation. When I met my DH 11 years ago there was a £3000 difference in our salaries in the IT industry. By the time I stopped work 3 years ago (I was made redundant) there was 100% difference that allowed me to be a SAHM. Even if I went back to work full time in IT, I couldn't earn his salary so I do part-time tutoring. We're doing this until the kids go to school and I can look for something more permanent.

At times I feel guilty for this but get round it by using my earnings for treats

Lynn

funky-footprints

not at all, when i became a stay at home dh was earning loads more than he is now, mainly due to a career change that we always knew was inevitable.

dh earns about 1/3 what he was earning when our first was born !!! thank goodness for wise investments!!

sahmx5

Until I had my 5th child a year ago I worked p/t. The cost of childcare was the primary reason why I haven't returned to my job.

My DH has been promoted twice in the last year and received generous salary increases with his promotion. The increases in gross salary have made up the loss of my salary. Once you talk about money in your hand it's the loss of my tax allowance and the fact that he's a 40% payer which makes the tax system so unfair to SAHM's.

Becles

Yes!

I'm going on maternity allowance at the end of next month. I'm self employed and the benefit paid is a lot less than my wages, so we were prepared for rebudgeting. I also want to work less hours when baby arrives, so won't go back to what I'm earning now.

In the mean time, hubby's disco business has took off in a huge way. He's been offered a residency at a top local sporting venue, and it'll bring in more than the drop in my earnings :j

Mum_of_many_4

I stopped working after we had #3. Dh was then made redundant and got a better job with a better salary more than covering what I would earn. He is hoping to hear about a promotion later this week (fingers crossed) which would mean another salary increase. I would also say that being a SAHM has meant I budget a lot better and obviously being on here helps.

immoral_angeluk

Well I won't be returning to work at the end of my leave which will free up the car for DH to us, meaning he can look for a job further afield so who knows?

Spendless

squashy-apologies I should have worded my title to include it being the other way round . I should have also mentioned that at the beginning he was earning 1/3rd more than myself so he's not had me earning a fantastic wage to catch up with.

hobo28-yes me being at home has certainly enabled my husband to advance his career by being able to stay away o/night, work early/late etc. Something he couldn't have done if he had any childcare responsibilities (even dropping off/picking up). In fact his job is becoming vacant as he's moving departments, and he rang someone up to see if they were interested, if they had been they could quite possibly start to earn a lot more but they weren't because of the 'no set times' and he couldn't work round that because he share childcare arrangements with their missus, but they are not in the same circs as us, his DW is the major bread-winner.

sahmx5-yes that was something I didn't take into account, I was working on gross income, if we are talking net that has been acheived within the last year or so.

Becles-Pleased to hear your news and IA good luck, fingers crossed for you :T

I'm hoping this didn't come across as a boastful thread. I'm aware that whilst DH career might have flourished I am left in a very vulnerable position should he decide to run off with the barmaid and partly for this reason I will be looking for work when my youngest goes to f-time school. I've always been aware of how quickly our income seems to have increased since we had kids but wondered if it was just us that had struck lucky. Browsing the web I came across this article and wondered what others experiences were so thanks for the replies.


http://www.stretcher.com/stories/03/03may05g.cfm

gek

Hi Spendless, don't know if you're still around, I know this is an old thread, but I found it when searching on SAHM!

I am in identical circumstances. when I met dh, we worked at the same firm and earned the same salary. I then left and moved to another part of the country, taking a job with little opportunity for progression, but which I enjoyed and enabled me to have the life I wanted. 18 months later we got together, and now 5 years down the line he earns triple what I do and I'm a sahm.

I've found it ironic, and hard to swallow in a way, as I was always quite career orientated and competitive, but I know it is the right thing to take this time to bring our daughter up how we want to, and it seems pointless to go back to work when we don't need the money. As for the vulnerability thing - well all our savings are in my name as I am the lower rate taxpayer, so if he runs off with his secretary I've got the dosh!!

I had a look at the article. Good ideas - but why oh why are they assuming that it's the wife who will stay at home. It equally well be the other way round.