I hope someone can help me....

LaidBackDad

Right, I've stopped feeling sorry for myself.

What I really need help with is the day to day stuff and planning a working budget on a daily/weekly/basis. How do you guys do it?

I was thinking a months calender printed off and pencil in the direct debits, kids clubs, approximate petrol refuel, any birthdays/anniversaries..and then have a yearly planner for the big items like holidays (joke) christmas/mot/yearly bills

then work out balance after outgoings, save required monthly money for the big one offs, and use what evers left (hahaha - you never know) and pay off highest interest charging card.

About right?

Takeaway_Addict

LaidBackDad wrote: »

Sorry to stop on that bombshell. I have gambled on and off for the last 7 years. I only started again end of march this year when the cheltenham festival was on but now the amounts i bet are ridiculous. I would estimate over the years my gambling has cost us about 3k of our current debt. I didnt want to talk about it here though as its a problem I am sorting out through GA visits (albeit my first visit is tonight) and although very significant in the battle to lower our spending I dont want it to detract from the fact we are and have beenl living beyond our means.

Gambling was a "solution" to gettingextra money for the big tv, or climbing frame, as I knew we couldnt afford it on wages alone.

Whilst I'm not naive enough to know its been a factor in our debt, it isnt THE reason. (or am i kidding myself?)

Its probably also why my wife isnt as into cutting back like I am, as she has seen me throw away hundreds on betting.

God im a mess.

3k in 7 years isn't that bad really and tonight you'll prob hear people who have lost houses from the illness but if it is a problem then its a problem and going to GA is a good move. What I am trying to say is if it is a problem for you then that could be where you were going.

Personally it was the stress that did me, even when I was winning I was stressed and consumed by gambling thoughts. Going to GA was the best thing I have done and given me a peace of mind I always wanted.

sistafromanothermista

LaidBackDad wrote: »

Right, I've stopped feeling sorry for myself.

What I really need help with is the day to day stuff and planning a working budget on a daily/weekly/basis. How do you guys do it?

I was thinking a months calender printed off and pencil in the direct debits, kids clubs, approximate petrol refuel, any birthdays/anniversaries..and then have a yearly planner for the big items like holidays (joke) christmas/mot/yearly bills

then work out balance after outgoings, save required monthly money for the big one offs, and use what evers left (hahaha - you never know) and pay off highest interest charging card.

About right?

Hi, i'm just starting out too and i'm trying to do it like this...

Printed off last bank statement and highlighted all the 'necessary' bills (car tax,mortgage c tax etc)
I then added up everything else, i was :eek: at how much we spent on shopping so we have vowed to lower that and keep track of every single penny we spend (keeping reciepts) Also just by me not going to the shop every day we will save £70 ish a month :eek:
:eek:Also in the last 6 weeks i have stopped smoking saving £200 a month!!!!

Like i said i have only just had my light bulb moment :eek:(LBM) and am desperate to cut the 20k debt!
Let me know what works for you and i might be able to steal some of your ideas

LaidBackDad

Takeaway_addict

Thanks for your response. i didnt go to the meeting in the end (had to work on - should I have made more effort I wonder?) I did have a good chat with a close mate and he didnt seem to think I needed to go. My main reason for wanting to stop is seeing the dissapointment in my wifes eyes when i tell her I've lost. Plus, the stakes are getting out of hand.

sistafromanothermista, well done to you for your progress so far. I'll give you a race to our DFD if you want! haha. I'm going to try the calender month thing and see how it goes, keep you informed.

downsizer3

Can you knock the gambling on the head - cold turkey?

Takeaway_Addict

LaidBackDad wrote: »

Takeaway_addict

Thanks for your response. i didnt go to the meeting in the end (had to work on - should I have made more effort I wonder?) I did have a good chat with a close mate and he didnt seem to think I needed to go. My main reason for wanting to stop is seeing the dissapointment in my wifes eyes when i tell her I've lost. Plus, the stakes are getting out of hand.

sistafromanothermista, well done to you for your progress so far. I'll give you a race to our DFD if you want! haha. I'm going to try the calender month thing and see how it goes, keep you informed.

Go to the GA website and look for something called the 20 questions and answer them honestly and that will give you an indication of whether you may have a gambling problem or not.

Only you can decide if that's the case.

Your mates will almost always say no because if you had a gambling problem you would hide it from them anyway (I did).

DCFC79

LaidBackDad wrote: »

Right, I've stopped feeling sorry for myself.

What I really need help with is the day to day stuff and planning a working budget on a daily/weekly/basis. How do you guys do it?

I was thinking a months calender printed off and pencil in the direct debits, kids clubs, approximate petrol refuel, any birthdays/anniversaries..and then have a yearly planner for the big items like holidays (joke) christmas/mot/yearly bills

then work out balance after outgoings, save required monthly money for the big one offs, and use what evers left (hahaha - you never know) and pay off highest interest charging card.

About right?

Use a calender or do a spreadsheet, months on the top ad the DD's going down with teh value fo each DD in the respective columns for each month, could even add some colour shade to each month.

You could add up each of the DD's for each month and take that off the salaries so you can see what you should have left once all the DD's have been paid.

Barbeduk

I really hate coming on sounding like a schoolteacher but wasting £3k of your hard earned money when you have almost £30k worth of debt is either 1) utter stupidity 2) desperation 3) addiction. You can choose the category.

You and your wife sound like lovely people, you have a great soh which comes through in your posts but ye gods, if you were my DH you would be missing a pair of unmentionables!!

Good luck, get that budget set up. Mine's done the Luddite way, handwritten in my diary, direct debits for each week listed!

sistafromanothermista

LaidBackDad wrote: »

Takeaway_addict

Thanks for your response. i didnt go to the meeting in the end (had to work on - should I have made more effort I wonder?) I did have a good chat with a close mate and he didnt seem to think I needed to go. My main reason for wanting to stop is seeing the dissapointment in my wifes eyes when i tell her I've lost. Plus, the stakes are getting out of hand.

sistafromanothermista, well done to you for your progress so far. I'll give you a race to our DFD if you want! haha. I'm going to try the calender month thing and see how it goes, keep you informed.

You're on, although mine is around the 2016 mark be prepared to be using this site a looooonngggggg time :)

Takeaway_Addict

Barbeduk wrote: »

I really hate coming on sounding like a schoolteacher but wasting £3k of your hard earned money when you have almost £30k worth of debt is either 1) utter stupidity 2) desperation 3) addiction. You can choose the category.

You and your wife sound like lovely people, you have a great soh which comes through in your posts but ye gods, if you were my DH you would be missing a pair of unmentionables!!

Good luck, get that budget set up. Mine's done the Luddite way, handwritten in my diary, direct debits for each week listed!

3k in 7 years remember so don't be that harsh on him, that is only £427ish a year or £35ish a month...people spend more on coffees