I hope someone can help me....

paulmapp8306

DOH - forget that - I didnt see you loan repayments wernt part of you expenses - stuuupid of me

Right - your committed to the Holiday - DONT book another. That will give you some money to throw at the debts.

Try and get the interest frozen/reduced.

Try and get your partner to earn more - even a little would help.

Cancell the Satalite/cable - you cant afford it at present.

Ditch the mobiles or use PAYG when your contract is up.

Look at public transport rather than using the car for work.

Life insurance is high.

£50/month should be plenty for Xmas/Birthdays as your struggling.

gargrave50

paulmapp8306 wrote: »

I dont think the Gas/electric is high at all. My Electric alone in a 4 bed is £140 - though I am in NI

Even so - and even for those who think your outgoings are too high - you still have £620/month disposable which is pretty good actually.

Just to clarify costs in NI are different. I'm basing my opinion of utilities being high based on UK prices. I appreciate that NI costs are higher.

Also, he doesn't have £620 a month disposable income. Even with miscalculating the car tax, he is only £91 left over after paying everything a month. The figure you are looking at is unsecured debt repayments:D.

antonia1

LaidBackDad wrote: »

Groceries are the source of a lot of arguments in our house. I may get a bit more involved in the shopping because we do throw a lot of food out i find.

It is hard to deal with debt when your partner doesn't get it. Perhaps you could sit down with her and your SOA and discuss ideas together for paying off the £30k of debt?

camuk81

My little godsend that I found was council tax on 12 months rather then 10. If you already pay on 10 then the new payment would be £112.55.

I know its not huge but its a bit extra

tallyhoh

LaidBackDad wrote: »

Groceries are the source of a lot of arguments in our house. I may get a bit more involved in the shopping because we do throw a lot of food out i find.

How about sitting down together & working out a weekly/monthly meal plan. It really does save waste.

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi and welcome. I think a lot of us can identify with your post.

In my opinion there are three steps to sorting this out:

1. Accepting and understanding where you are at the moment. This means knowing exactly how much you are spending a month and what you are spending it on. The SOA is a good start but you may find that by keeping spending diaries and analysing your bank statements some of those figures need to be adjusted. Every penny needs to be accounted for.

2. Building a lifestyle that you can afford rather than a lifestyle that you want or think you deserve. Its so tempting to think "I am on a good salary, I should have a new car". This only leads you into trouble as I think you have realised. It took me a long time to get my head around this. You need to stop buying things on credit right now and only buy things if you can pay for them out of your monthly income - after all the other bills have been paid.

3. Working out the maximum amount that you can throw at the debts whilst still paying for things that you need and factoring in a small amount of treats and hobbies for the kids. We never go out any more, takeaways are for birthday treats only and our holidays are camping with limited spending money. But we get a huge amount of satisfaction from going on holiday and knowing we can afford it - it doesnt have to be all doom and gloom.

Keeping proper financial records is essential. Seeing it in black and white makes it real. Checking the online banking and updating the spreadsheets every day stops me from slipping back into old habits.

You have got to get your wife on board, in fact if she is not working there is a lot she can do to help. The old style boards have some great advice about making money go further and she can be the one that keeps a close eye on the finances, checks for the best deals etc.

Good luck, I think in your heart you know what you have to do and as someone who has been there myself I really do wish you well.

Money_mayhem

Hello :wave:

The good news is that you've come to the right place...you can do this but it will take hard work and sacrifice.

Keep checking in and stay positive

Bluediamond

Hi there
When I read your post it took me back six years ago when, due to our living standards, we found ourselves in the situation that you and your wife are in right now
All of the posts before are perfect to give you food for thought but coming back down to your level I just want to say the following
If you decide to contact CCCS or Payplan (who we are with) then be prepared for a rocky road. When you go from having a social life to zilch, it hurts. And do you know what? it only hurts because it should. We were too reckless with our hard earned money and thought we could do it all when we knew in our heart of hearts that one day it would all go bang!
We have three children and we always had what we wanted and went where we wanted.
Now we watch every penny we spend
We have a weekly budget and when its gone, its simply gone!
This has made us realise just how stupid we were to fritter away so much and not save some of the thousands we were getting through
Ironically, now we are happier now than we have been for a long time and as we know that we are gradually paying off the debt, we have no more chasing calls or letters (worst bit) and whatever we save up to buy, we appreciate it so much more
Our children have spent the last six years with us asking them, "do you need it or do you want it" and I believe that it has stood them in good stead
I remember one day in the summer we only had £15 left for the week and the bank wouldnt help us, all the cards were maxxed out and we had nothing, absolutely jack!
We have had a Sun Holiday for the last five years
Our car is all paid off now and we are making it last ( we would have had three cars by now in the old life)
We just find the simple things in life are much more fun and meaningful.
What I will say is your wife needs to work with you on the next step otherwise it wont work. Surely she could find extra work to help you all out? When my children were too young to be left, when my Husband came back from work, I was out the door cleaning and then at weekends, working as a care assistant.
The money I earned helped immensly I can tell you
You have to swallow your pride when you are in dire straits and grin and bear it but remember, it wont always be this bad!
Well done for coming on here and making a positive move, you will be fine. one last thing, dont be a stranger to us...we are here to support and help you

Barbeduk

We worked hard so we bought things we 'deserved'. So when I was paying it off I thought, that's the iPad paid for, that's the telly paid for, etc etc. bet you've got loads of stuff the kids have outgrown so I would recommend eBay to raise a bit of extra income. If your wife's at home, this might be something she can get her teeth into.

You seem like a very generous family who enjoy life, but it's a great lesson to learn that the best things really are free and the kids will enjoy a run around the woods with a picnic as much as a day at soft play. And you know you've got to halve that present budget don't you!

Good luck, it's tough but soooo worth it.

ellesbellesxxx

Well done for realising something needs to change... you will all be happier too for doing this, even if your lifestyle does have to change. Get the kids on board too, finding cheap deals with shopping - even downshifting a brand makes a big difference.

Good luck!