Help Needed - ruined wedding night

mildred1978

Loanranger wrote: »

You are over reacting, IMHO. You failed to check in and were not available for them to check with you. They are running a business and needed to fill the room. You got a free room and a taxi. If you had been left without a room for the night I would be outraged but you weren't.
Why is your wedding night so important when you already have a toddler?

Exactly what I was going to say. :T

ellay864

Assuming you booked for one night, I'm guessing your booking was for the night of 28 April, therefore 28 April would have been your check in date. You actually hadn't checked in on the day you'd booked so maybe it's understandable that they let your room. How clear were you at time of booking, as on the morning of the wedding you only spoke to a porter and not to a reservations/receptionist?
We did similar to you when we married, our house was full of guests and we stayed at a hotel about 5 miles away from the evening venue. Neither of us had time to go check in during the day as our wedding itself was an hour away and he had to leave the house at 10am. But when we booked we made a point of telling them we wouldnt get over in the daytime and would be arriving a little after midnight, and we double checked this when we dropped our overnight bag there the day before the wedding.
But regardless of that, to expect £500 is ridiculous when they did pay for alternative accommodation and pay all transport costs. I can understand it's upsetting but at the end of an incredible day it shouldn't really cause that much stress. And if you can say that your wedding day was tainted by it, then that doesn't say much for your day and marriage if a hotel room can have so much more importance than the wonderful day you had up til then.
As for their offer of a free room, could you not arrange for a family member to look after your toddler for one night? Think of it as a belated mini-moon, as I'm assuming you haven't been able to go away together on your own for a full honeymoon

BristolDavid

Blimey. I expected complaint advice on here. Quite a lot of judging going on!

My toddler isn't one that we can ever leave for a night without a lot of planning and crossed fingers that he will be okay - I don't feel the need to go into the minute details. Even thought we have a toddler this night did matter so much, not just because it was our wedding night, but because one of us, or his carer, has spent every minute with him in the 18 months since he was born. His carer is rarely free for overnight care.

I left the bag with the porter who took my name. He said that I didn't need to check in and that I could come back anytime. I took him at his word and didn't think anything else of it. Perhaps that was naive but I was only doing as I was advised by an employee of the hotel.

mildred1978

BristolDavid wrote: »

Blimey. I expected complaint advice on here. Quite a lot of judging going on!

My toddler isn't one that we can ever leave for a night without a lot of planning and crossed fingers that he will be okay - I don't feel the need to go into the minute details. Even thought we have a toddler this night did matter so much, not just because it was our wedding night, but because one of us, or his carer, has spent every minute with him in the 18 months since he was born. His carer is rarely free for overnight care.

I left the bag with the porter who took my name. He said that I didn't need to check in and that I could come back anytime. I took him at his word and didn't think anything else of it. Perhaps that was naive but I was only doing as I was advised by an employee of the hotel.

Sorry to hear about your little boy.

Wedding nights were traditionally the first time a bride and groom slept together, hence it being a special, never to be repeated occasion.

When a couple have lived together and had a child (or indeed children) surely the wedding night is like any other.

I was far too tired to do anything on mine!!

purple.sarah

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I would have thought although they didn't say when to come back to check in it seems rather late to expect to check in at 12.30am. You only allowed 30 minutes earlier and didn't have your phone with you (which is understandable) but as far as they knew you weren't coming.

The first night you have together is important because it's your first night, everything else is extra.

My husband and I didn't check in till about that time on our wedding night by the time we had seen all our guests off from the reception (not at the hotel), packed up the presents and decorations etc, there is a lot of organisation involved. I did check the hotel allowed late check in when I booked though. The problem does not seem to be the time of the check in but that the hotel had overbooked. You say "as far as they knew you weren't coming" but they should have known because he booked a room, dropped his bags off and was told he could check in later. I would not book a room at a hotel and leave my luggage there if I was not staying!

BristolDavid

mildred1978 wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your little boy.

Wedding nights were traditionally the first time a bride and groom slept together, hence it being a special, never to be repeated occasion.

When a couple have lived together and had a child (or indeed children) surely the wedding night is like any other.

I was far too tired to do anything on mine!!

I understand what you are saying. I am sure I would feel differently if we ever got time for just the two of us. It was the first night in 18 months when we weren't woken, for one reason or another, every hour. It might sound stupid, but we were looking forward to the night in a quality hotel, just the two of us, as much as the day!!

paddyrg

BristolDavid wrote: »

What winds me up is the thought of my wife in tears.

I hear you. Every guy here hears you. But those tears were probably coming in one form or another anyway...

Girls are often brought up to project their whole dreams of their life and whole world onto one day (wedding day), so expectations are enormous, huge, and generally out of kilter with the rest of the world which carries on muddling by. Wedding days are also usually very busy, distracting, and designed to be very emotional, churches, speeches, friends and family, favourite songs etc. There is hardly time for all that overwhelm to process during the day, maybe just maybe a glass of bubbles too, so when there is a lull, some tears are pretty much on the cards, just a case of what triggers them.

As a new husband it is tough on you, but with a couple of deep breaths and a step back, you can see what's going on, and the hotel is getting the brunt of everything, which is why people are suggesting proportionality in your pressing for holidays/cash/compo on top of a free alternative and taxis and a free night one other day - that's probably £400 value all told already.

I would bet a quick straw poll on here would show easily half the weddings here had tears at some point from the bride. Maybe more.

And believe me, it won't be the last time you see your Mrs crying ;-)

BristolDavid

paddyrg wrote: »

I hear you. Every guy here hears you. But those tears were probably coming in one form or another anyway...

Girls are often brought up to project their whole dreams of their life and whole world onto one day (wedding day), so expectations are enormous, huge, and generally out of kilter with the rest of the world which carries on muddling by. Wedding days are also usually very busy, distracting, and designed to be very emotional, churches, speeches, friends and family, favourite songs etc. There is hardly time for all that overwhelm to process during the day, maybe just maybe a glass of bubbles too, so when there is a lull, some tears are pretty much on the cards, just a case of what triggers them.

As a new husband it is tough on you, but with a couple of deep breaths and a step back, you can see what's going on, and the hotel is getting the brunt of everything, which is why people are suggesting proportionality in your pressing for holidays/cash/compo on top of a free alternative and taxis and a free night one other day - that's probably £400 value all told already.

I would bet a quick straw poll on here would show easily half the weddings here had tears at some point from the bride. Maybe more.

And believe me, it won't be the last time you see your Mrs crying ;-)

And maybe that won't be the last time you post something so condescending.

purple.sarah

I understand your anger at the hotel but I think you asked for too much by asking for £500. They will feel £500 is excessive, especially when you weren't charged for the room. It is tricky to reach a compromise here because the hotel would normally offer a refund, but in this case they didn't charge you for the room, or a free night's stay, which you can't take.

I do get your frustration, weddings are stressful and you expect the hotel to handle things, not cancel your wedding night booking at the last minute because they overbooked! I would have been upset too. The issue is compromising on compensation. At least by apologising they have admitted they made a mistake and hopefully they will try to learn from it in the future and improve their service.

arcon5

Slrey op but I don't think the sum of money you are asking is in any way reasonable.

Taking away the emotional stuff - they wrongfully filled your room so indemnified you of any loss by pitting you elsewhere and paid for transportation. They have offered a free stay as way of compensation. I think this is reasonable.

You could of course have a valid case of 'loss of enjoyment' - although not sure how £500 rather than a free stay would make this any better. If you do want financial compensation, the sum of £50 is more appropriate.