3.5 yr old bad bedtime behaviour

Gingham_R

I would also have baby in the parents' bedroom for now but I wouldn't give the others separate rooms or there may be resentment when the baby needs the room back.

I would keep the eldest up later and have it as completely undisturbed time with one of the parents (and keep to that one parent for now.) I'd let him choose as many books as he likes but no games or tv or anything too stimulating. Then I'd have it as snuggle time, reading and snuggling after pjs are on and teeth brushed. Keep the lights low, voices quiet and have a whispery time saying goodnight when he has to creep into bed without making a sound and have that be a challenge that they can wink to each other about. Maybe some hand signals so they can still communicate but he knows it's secret and quiet.

Then huge rewards for doing it right and no punishments when he doesn't - just quietly returning them to bed and not talking to them about it.

sassyblue

Margaret52129 wrote: »

Thanks, I'll recommend this one to her, although I think she's tried putting him to bed first, but the little one is a little devil also and doesn't know how to go to bed quietly! The reward charts/threat to withdraw treats/toys doesn't work, this was an earlier threat (before new baby) but I think he forgets it and doesn't worry that he's not allowed tv/toys etc. next day! He says he will be good, knows that if he gets stickers he'll get a treat, but it doesn't register with him, he doesn't seem to be bothered about it! She did this with his toilet training and it worked a treat!

I'd be inclined to have the baby back in parents room and put the elder two in a room each. If that settles the eldest then try moving baby into the room with the middle child.

I do think he's playing up because he has a new sibling but in the short term get him into a good bedtime routine then a few months down the line maybe try him and the middle child together again.

Margaret52129

Sorry but the thanks button has disappeared!

But thank you for all the suggestions, I'll forward these onto her. I wouldn't like to comment on why she's decided on putting baby in its own room, but that side of things seem to be ok, baby's doing fine and is sleeping well. I think he had outgrown the moses basket and there wasn't enough room in their bedroom for the cot.

Spendless

What about baby and middle one sharing a bedroom and eldest having the small room to himself so he isn't disturbing anyone. Would depend on how baby sleeps and if middle one is likely to be woken though.

Does 3yo manage with less sleep? I had problems with my eldest who could go to bed late and rise early, so bedtime was always a battle as he wasn't tired, regardless of what I or the clock said. It took till he was around 8/9 to sleep thru and even then he still got up before me. That changed these past Christmas hols, when all of a sudden he started sleeping more. He was 2 months off 12 by then!

duchy

I'd put the eldest in the little room -and have the baby and middle child together .


Middle one can nap in the day if there's a period of adjustment (mind you seems like middle one is already getting disturbed so can't be worse than it currently is)

Racheldevon

If your daughter pops into/calls her local sure start children's centre, staff will be able to advise on this issue/home visit to support with this - there may also be a sleep clinic that runs via the centre (often not widely publicised). Services are free for families with 0-5 year olds, and every community has access to their services - google to find the one that serves your area.

Savvy_Sue

Could it work to put middle one into parents bed and move him once he's asleep? Or the biggest one? That's if you can't put the younger two in one room.

plane_boy2000

We have a similar occasional problem with my 2 boys who share. We remove whichever is causing the disturbance and put them in our bed until we go up, and then move them back into their own bed later when they are asleep.

They both love sharing a room (a bit to much!) so the threat of separating them for a night or 2 usually calms them for a while.

onlyroz

I would suggest making the room pitch black with blinds, towels etc. Also any punishment needs to be immediate, eg a toy taken away or no bedtime story. Any fuss in the night then put them back with no eye contact even if you have to do it 100 times. And above all else be consistent - it sounds like a multitude of things have been tried over a short period so it's little wonder that the child thinks they can get away with anything.