How often do you 'take a friend' with/for your child?

aliasojo

Corelli wrote: »

My children have always enjoyed outings much more if they had friends along as well but maybe the expensive outings (despite the vouchers) could be mixed with invites for a friend spending the day without an outing? Just having a friend around can be fun and sleepovers are great with a midnight feast. When mine were much younger there I will admit to having cheated for midnight feasts and put the clock several hours forward. Bonfires in the garden and sausages/whatever on sticks seem to appeal to the most sophisticated of teenagers.

Perhaps this thread needs to morph into 'how to entertain cool preteens on the cheap'. A photo shoot seems to go down well here. (Nearly 18 YOD) To me it looks like an old fashioned dressing up day with every one exchanging clothes and doing exotic make up and then photographing each other but apparantly its for one particular friend's art school portfolio.

As an ex home educator I used to have bunches of children around and do kitchen science sorts of things, or crafts or sewing with them. If any thing like that could possibly appeal I can link you to lots of good websites with ideas.

Actually, those sorts might not appeal to your daughter's friends, but how about some sewing / tie dye / clothes making sort of organised activities?

Does your daughter have any ideas for summer entertainment?

This rented place we are in isn't great and the kitchen is miniscule. Not really the kind of place that any more than one of you could spend an afternoon baking up a storm.

We bought a cheapo gazebo to put up in the garden during the hols, if we ever get decent enough weather that is. We figured the 'kids' could just come through for the day and amuse themselves between the house and garden with one of those disposable barbecues for them to try. We can just drive them home afterwards.

The photoshoot thing is a good idea, I think that might appeal. Will add that to the suggestion list, thanks.

CATS

Hi OP,

When my son was younger we always took friends with us and paid for entrance and food. However as he's gotten older we still take his friends, not just one, often 2/3 with us but now they pay for the entrance, we are ok to pay for food. I find that most parents are ok to give the kids entrance money to the theme parks etc and are just happy that you are taking them. My son is an only child so having a friend was always a priority for him, as they get older they start to pay adult prices so it does become much more expensive, but as I said they now pay themselves. My son usually says we are going to ..... do you want to come.... it is £xxx they then decide if parents are ok to give them the money or not.

Hope that helps

marisco_2

I can see the value of asking a friend along for your daughter. If she is having lots of fun and not getting bored, then it makes the days out more enjoyable for all of you.

I have two sons. If the parents of one of their friends invited them out for the day I would be very appreciative. I would also insist on paying my childs entrance fees, provide him with snacks and drinks and give some spending money so my kid could treat them all to an ice-cream as a thank you.

Many parents have to work through the school holidays and would be forking out for childcare. Effectively you would be looking after a child for someone for the day. Cant imagine many parents saying no to that.

jackyann

Aliasojo - sounds like it's hard work all round! And as if you are still getting the measure of the new place.

You don't say if there is any chance of your daughter visiting an old friend then having her back? I don't know the distance to travel, cost etc. At 12 I allowed my kids to travel on train or coach as long as they were put on / met at each end. I did that as a child, and so did my kids, just being somewhere different was huge fun!

Can I share with you this story? We used to go on camping holidays with extended family and would often take kids' friends along. All of our "entertainment" was home made, and that included a "treasure hunt" every year - nature stuff, but silly things as well: a car number plate that spells a rude word; a couple on a tandem - double points if the woman is in front....etc. The only prize was being let off a certain chore!
Recently we visited one of these friends - now a father himself, in his 30s. He got out a copy of one of the treasure hunts, complete with ticks and scores added up, and rain sploshes! He said those times were such happy memories, he wanted to re-create them for his children.

balletshoes

cutestkids wrote: »

Hi

My kids are a bit younger 11 and 6 but the only time that we have taken other kids away with us to a day out has been for the oldests Birthday.

I think once in a while is fine but not something I would want to do all the time to be honest.

this is the way I feel too (my DD is an only, aged 11). I can't afford to run to inviting, and paying for, a friend to come along to a theme park, and pay for lunches etc, for the day.

Other things though, that don't cost a lot of money, I'll happily ask DD if she wants to invite a friend along (like a local park that has a cafe/McDs/pizza hut nearby, they can enjoy each other's company and I'm happy to buy them lunch etc.

Or if we have cut-price cinema tickets, I'll let DD bring along a friend to that, and we'll go to the supermarket or poundshop beforehand for sweets etc.

eta - Summer holidays are a bit of a logistical issue every year with my DD, but I do think she's rapidly approaching the age where she'd rather be home and with the chance to hang out with her friends (without actually having to go to an attraction/activity/theme park) in the neighbourhood, over being 6 hours drive away with relatives for some of the time.

aliasojo could your daughter go "home" and stay with your older son for a few days/a week in the holidays?

aliasojo

jackyann wrote: »

You don't say if there is any chance of your daughter visiting an old friend then having her back? I don't know the distance to travel, cost etc.

She has done this a few times actually but one friend wont sleep away from home so we can't have her back and the other one has a long term illness which prevents her from doing a lot sadly.

I would happily have either of them here, they're nice kids and no bother.

It's getting a bit embarrassing as it's so one sided now though and I don't want the other parents to feel obligated in any way, although one Mum did say my daughter could leave home and move in with them any time she liked. I wonder if she'd feel the same if we turned up with her suitcase one day.

balletshoes wrote: »

aliasojo could your daughter go "home" and stay with your older son for a few days/a week in the holidays?

He's working 12 hour shifts and is waiting to hear if he is to be sent abroad again so we can't make plans that involve him unfortunately. His girlfriend will be at 'home' but that's a whole different ballgame.

balletshoes

thats a shame, because that could have worked quite well for her.

aliasojo

balletshoes wrote: »

thats a shame, because that could have worked quite well for her.

Lol, and for me. I'd have quite happily gone back home for the summer.

Everything was so much easier when they were all younger and pre 'bidey-in' days.

jackyann

aliasojo wrote: »

She has done this a few times actually but one friend wont sleep away from home so we can't have her back and the other one has a long term illness which prevents her from doing a lot sadly.

I would happily have either of them here, they're nice kids and no bother.

It's getting a bit embarrassing as it's so one sided now though and I don't want the other parents to feel obligated in any way, although one Mum did say my daughter could leave home and move in with them any time she liked. I wonder if she'd feel the same if we turned up with her suitcase one day.

I would discuss this with DD, and if she really wants to go, then have a frank discussion with these mums. As long as you are not "taking them for granted" then I imagine either would be happy to have your daughter. Indeed, splitting between the two might work!
It would encourage the one to be more venturesome; and good company for the "limited" one, so it isn't one-sided.

I wish you all luck!

KiKi

Nothing to do with your post, but as someone referred to you as 'Ali' earlier on, it's the first time I've realised that you're board name is aliasOjo. I always thought you were aliasjo - as in your 'alias' was 'Jo'. Rather than 'Ali' 'As'...and then whatever Ojo is.

I can't believe I've been misreading your name for so long! I feel very daft...