How often do you 'take a friend' with/for your child?

aliasojo

Just thinking ahead to the summer school hols.

I've just used all my Tesco vouchers for Days Out tokens so that will help a bit but imo, the places they can be used in Scotland are poor compared to the English attractions.

There are only a small handful of places that kids would be interested in. Plenty for adults who like castles, railways and whisky.

Anyway, it got me thinking that a 12 year old walking round a maze with only 'the olds' or her adult (pain in the backside to her) disabled brother for company is a bit boring, but two 12 year olds together might have more of a laugh and an otherwise boring day out might be more fun if she had a pal with her.

Same for the theme park...bit boring going on a ride *just* with her Dad but more fun if she had a pal etc etc.

It's sometimes difficult to reconcile the idea of 'more fun' with the associated costs involved though.

I suppose it's different for those who have children closer in age as they would be company for each other.

For those with only children, or big age gaps between their kids ... how often do you 'take a friend'? Do you go out less often so you can take someone else each time? Do you take someone only occasionally? Or do you never take a friend and your child is happy enough to be by themself?

Just curious about what others do.

findingmyownway

I would definitely do this if you can afford it. You're right that 12 year old like spending time with each other, and an otherwise 'boring' place would be livened up a lot if she wasn't on her own.

I remember going to theme parks with my family and spending the day with my brother on the rides while my mum wandered round the gift shop / zoo etc. I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much on my own.

Perhaps look at the places where you can buy a family ticket as these often allow up to 3 kids in without paying extra. Obviously you can't do it all the time, and family time is important, but for the big days out i think its a good idea. Plus - your dd may then get invited back with the friends family.

JodyBPM

Mine are close in age, and much younger (6 & 7) and I honestly think that we've never taken a friend on a family day out. We've arranged to meet their friends and families places, but never taken an extra child with us IYSWIM. Maybe it will be something that will happen more as they grow older.

Also, I would say that if money is tight, there's no need to fill the summer holidays with costly theme parks etc. Again, my children are much younger, so I know it is different, but we tend to focus more on fun things to do at home (crafts and stuff which I guess your dd may be too old for) and free days out, a visit to the woods, a picnic in the park, a day at the beach etc, plus cheaper local things such as Vue Cinemas £1.50 a ticket films etc.

I think it might be nice for your dd to take a friend with her at some point, but could it not be to a cheap/free event rather than a costly one?

aliasojo

JodyBPM wrote: »

Also, I would say that if money is tight, there's no need to fill the summer holidays with costly theme parks etc. Again, my children are much younger, so I know it is different, but we tend to focus more on fun things to do at home (crafts and stuff which I guess your dd may be too old for) and free days out, a visit to the woods, a picnic in the park, a day at the beach etc, plus cheaper local things such as Vue Cinemas £1.50 a ticket films etc.

I think it might be nice for your dd to take a friend with her at some point, but could it not be to a cheap/free event rather than a costly one?

The theme park visit is covered by Tesco Tokens (God bless Tesco points) . We wouldn't be going otherwise. Package tickets for 5 people would cost a smidgeon over £100 but with the Tesco Tokens, I only need to spend £13 so that's a good saving.

There isn't a great deal here that is cheap. We were quite shocked at the difference in costs between our old place and here. Just as an example our family sports centre membership (that included free swimming AND swimming lessons for the kids) was £20 a month. Down here, a membership is £75 a month and that isn't even for all the family, it's for 2 people.)

Daughter used to almost live in the sports centre but she's not doing that here, lol.

We go on walks and hikes a lot but her pals aren't really 'into' that kind of thing too much unfortunately. They are all very nearly teenagers and have outgrown a lot of the stuff they used to enjoy when they were a bit younger.

It gets harder to amuse them cheaply the older they get.

peachyprice

You know what Ali, I really wouldn't be offended if I was asked to pay for an expensive ticket if someone were offering to take my DD along with them. Being a working mum, I'd be happy to know she was having a lovely day out and would be more than willing to contribute. Perhaps your DD has friends who really would appreciate you taking their child for the day in exchange for the price of a ticket.

aliasojo

peachyprice wrote: »

You know what Ali, I really wouldn't be offended if I was asked to pay for an expensive ticket if someone were offering to take my DD along with them. Being a working mum, I'd be happy to know she was having a lovely day out and would be more than willing to contribute. Perhaps your DD has friends who really would appreciate you taking their child for the day in exchange for the price of a ticket.

I just really feel that if you invite, you pay. I would be embarrassed any other way tbh. But I accept in this day and age there are folks who genuinely wouldn't mind and who would think I was daft.

What can I say, old habits die hard.

cutestkids

Hi

My kids are a bit younger 11 and 6 but the only time that we have taken other kids away with us to a day out has been for the oldests Birthday.

I think once in a while is fine but not something I would want to do all the time to be honest.

Corelli

My children have always enjoyed outings much more if they had friends along as well but maybe the expensive outings (despite the vouchers) could be mixed with invites for a friend spending the day without an outing? Just having a friend around can be fun and sleepovers are great with a midnight feast. When mine were much younger there I will admit to having cheated for midnight feasts and put the clock several hours forward. Bonfires in the garden and sausages/whatever on sticks seem to appeal to the most sophisticated of teenagers.

Perhaps this thread needs to morph into 'how to entertain cool preteens on the cheap'. A photo shoot seems to go down well here. (Nearly 18 YOD) To me it looks like an old fashioned dressing up day with every one exchanging clothes and doing exotic make up and then photographing each other but apparantly its for one particular friend's art school portfolio.

As an ex home educator I used to have bunches of children around and do kitchen science sorts of things, or crafts or sewing with them. If any thing like that could possibly appeal I can link you to lots of good websites with ideas.

Actually, those sorts might not appeal to your daughter's friends, but how about some sewing / tie dye / clothes making sort of organised activities?

Does your daughter have any ideas for summer entertainment?

jackyann

We often took friends with us on days out. However, I only once took the children to an "amusement" type of place. I invited, so expected to pay, but the other mum gave me a voucher (so good all round!).
I agree with Corelli - find other good stuff to do.
If you have room, make a whole day's fun out of getting ready for a "party" evening like a BBQ or "disco". Give them a budget to work to, and you'll be teaching them skills as well.

I would also be up front with your child about the cost of outings & invites. Maybe you could offer one outing with one invited friend that you pay for? Or talk to her about issuing an invite whilst asking for costs - kids are often very aware of their friends' circumstances.

I don't know about Scotland, but even in these times, there are usually some free or cheap fun events put on by councils - watch out for them. I took my kids to almost every one for years and we made friends with the same families who kept turning up!

SandC

I think at 12 it's definitely going to be more fun to have a friend along but it doesn't have to be on every trip, otherwise it becomes less of a treat and more of an expectation.

I guess the monetary issue depends on whether your child ever goes on similar trips with friends or if it is going to be the same friend or different ones. The same friend having a day out more than once or twice over school hols and if it were my child I would certainly be insisting on paying, unless it was also working the other way around.

Oh and don't dismiss castles or hill/mountain climbs for that matter. Many a place I'm sure at the time when we were kids in north east scotland we considered we were being dragged to but as an adult I'm so pleased that my parents took me to so many interesting places and that I got such a good knowledge of history and nature too in the form of the gardens we saw and from things we saw on country walks. We joined the national trust to save money and spent many weekends and holidays looking at castles - and visited the same ones on more than a couple of occasions.

Nature is a wonderful thing and if you are rural then I urge you to arm your kids with books on plants and flowers, trees etc. and send them off out finding interesting leaves, or where they are in abundance a few flowers to press etc.

CH27

We used to do the we invite so we pay thing until son went to senior school.
Then the mums of the group got together & decided that the boys needed to be aware of what things cost & that from now on they would pay their own way.
We would provide transport etc & food when they just gathered at a house.