Jealousy - the evil monster that rears it's head during weddings

burtons_angel

mmm none of us truly know what the deal is as we are not there but we can just try to offer perspective. And I feel, based on what we have been told and how my one sister behaved with the other at her most joyous occasions ie getting married, having first baby, it would seem your sis is jealous esp because she feels you are doing the stuff she wanted and never got to. Best thing is to make it clear to your parents your trying, try with your sister just have it all out and just make it clear one last time you do want her there, your sorry if u did upset her u didnt mean to etc etc (but not arguing lol) and then concentrate on enjoying your wedding :-)

stir_crazy

It definitely sounds like your sister is feeling jealous or side lined for some reason. The best course of action is to find out directly from your sister why she's feeling this way - maybe also talk to your mum and dad and see if she's told them anything that she hasn't told you. You should do this soon, hopefully you will have all issues resolved before your wedding.

ampafc

Women.

How many instances do you hear of the groom falling out with his brother?

You both need to grow up, imo.

lozmk1

ampafc wrote: »

Women.

How many instances do you hear of the groom falling out with his brother?

You both need to grow up, imo.

REALLY? You need to delve into this forum a bit more!

VfM4meplse

OP, given the informaton you have supplied I would be tempted to cut your sister out of anything wedding related and send her an open invite should she decide that she does wish to grace your wedding with her presence.

Before that I would share this thread with your and grandmother to fill in any gaps.

duchy

If you and your Mum are at home doing the wedding stuff together and she's several hours away she may feel left out . Add on the fact that in her head you're doing the things she wanted to do for her wedding but wasn't able to.......and maybe some of her attitude is easier to understand -even if she is a bit of a diva about it all (is she usually anyway ?)

spoonymoose

duchy wrote: »

If you and your Mum are at home doing the wedding stuff together and she's several hours away she may feel left out . Add on the fact that in her head you're doing the things she wanted to do for her wedding but wasn't able to.......and maybe some of her attitude is easier to understand -even if she is a bit of a diva about it all (is she usually anyway ?)

I haven't done any wedding planning with my mum as she lives near my sister, not me so there is no jealousy in relation to that. In fact, during the previous plans for my sister's wedding, my mum spent several hours with her planning.

She wasable to do these things for her wedding; she had most things booked but chose to cancel it. She had chosen the cake, the dress, the venue, flowers, bridesmaids dresses etc but something happened and she decided to do it differently.

_________________________________

Update

Due to the fact that I get flustered when I'm upset/angry/annoyed/combination of all three, I wrote an email (quicker than a letter) to both my mum and sister.

To my mum, I explained how I'd tried to do the right thing; not "show off" about my wedding in front of my sister (and so keep quiet about things) and how I'd attempted to contact her before but I felt that things were just going around in circles and nothing was ever being resolved.

My mum emailed back, saying that she found it difficult because she loves us both and she wants things to be sorted. (My sister was at my mum's house when she read it.)

In the email to my sister, I explained how I'd tried not to rub her face in it with my wedding, how me keeping quiet was my way of protecting her and making her realise that her day was not something to be overlooked and ignored. I also explained how I do want her at my wedding, how she is my sister and that I do love her regardless of what she might think. I then gave her a few hotel suggestions and pointed to the one closest to the venue and within a good price range.

She texted me the following day, saying that she was sorry, uni had been mental and she was focusing on her exams and would feel better afterwards.

I feel it's calmer, but again, I won't know until I see her, which will hopefully be the day before the wedding. I would love her to do a reading at my wedding, but I don't know whether she would or not.

She must have accepted my apology in some way as she has learnt me her veil, perhaps this is an olive branch?

johannalf88

Glad things seemed to have worked out.

floss2

OP, I think it IS an olive branch, and you should accept it - even if the veil is not what you would have wished for.

TBH, I think your sister is now realising what she missed out on by cancelling her wedding at home and having a ceremony in Vegas with her DH. Yes she may be jealous, but I think she is also regretting her choice and can only express that regret through her behaviour towards you as her sister AND the evil b1tch who is having the wedding day she wishes she had had for herself.

Chin up, keep talking to her and look forward to the honeymoon

stir_crazy

OP, hopefully now thiings have been resolved, I would borrow her veil as it does seem to be an olive branch. Glad you got this sorted out!