School gave personal information about my child

poet123

meritaten wrote: »

I too am wondering how the grandmother knew all this information if the school didnt give it to her directly. SS and other agencies shouldnt be blabbing this sort of info to others involved in the case surely?
Whats going on here? my grandkids school has the parents written authority to disclose information to me - otherwise I know that they wouldnt discuss any sensitive matters with me! The school were insistent on having written authority before I could be included in parent meetings or to represent the parents.
something smells - I suspect that the SS is colluding with the grandparent and if I were you hun I would get a darn good family law solicitor!
oh and that school sounds rubbish - to have so many concerns that the other party feels able to use them in court, WITHOUT once calling you in to discuss matters!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is DISGRACEFUL!

Supposing this was a case of sexual abuse or physical abuse? To disclose concerns to the involved parent could put such a child at risk.

In such cases it is usual for the school to contact an external agency who take the relevant steps rather than speak to the parent. Not ideal but done with the best motives and safety of the child in mind. We actually had such a case at the school where I am a governor, and it is not an easy call, but ultimately we had to put the child first, not the parent.

VitaK

But surely the school would have already acted in some maner if there was prior conserns for a childs welfare.

turn2stone

Thank you all for the replies, I wanted to come back and clear a few things up so people here have a better idea of what happened.

My mother suffers from narcissism, I have had to put up with that all my life, that is why I moved away in the first place to start a new life with my child away from all the negative stuff that my mum put me through.

Of course I was the worst parent in the world because I dared to move away, she did warn me when I left that if I went through with splitting up her family she would make my life hell.

I did not know any of this at the time, but after I moved I have since found out that she applied for an emergancy residence order, I did not know this, I wanted my son to see his extended family so left him with my grandparents for a week, when I was supposed to pick him up my mother called and said if I want him back she would see me in court.

This is where my head hurts because I have no idea how she did it in the first place, none of it seems right to me at all, as in, the first I knew any of it was when I recieved court papers through the post giving the date I had to be there, Social services never once contacted me, nobody ever came to the house to see the conditions my child was living in, yet because of the things my mother said in court I lost the case.

This was last year, my child has been with her ever since.

I have managed to obtain proof that she lied about everything in the court papers, I have a letter from social services saying my child is not and has never been known to them.

Yet when I went to my solicitor they said because my child has been in her care for so long they would not disrupt him anymore.

Nobody will help me, I have no idea what to do to get my child back, all I have now is proof that she lied about me in court to obtain the residence order.

Edit: In court my mother said she contacted the school via phone and the school apparently brought up the fact my child was not happy there, none of which was brought up with me, I just find it strange that she was able to do all this just on her word with no actual proof of what she was saying in court, everything she said about me was hearsay!

GobbledyGook

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Is your mother a emergency contact?

I know our school with discuss grades/behavior etc. with anyone named as a contact on our system which often includes grandparents.

They shouldn't. Emergency contacts should only ever be that, someone to contact when the parent or legal guardian cannot be contacted in an emergency situation. The only time they should discuss behaviour is if the child has to be collected because of an incident and the parents cannot be contacted or passing on information when someone is collecting a child that the child may not pass on (although even that should strictly speaking be done by note).

They should not be discussing anything confidential with anyone other than those with parental responsibility or the likes of social services etc.

poet123

We don't actually know that they haven't. There could have been concerns in a previous school which were part of the reason the OP moved. We are only hearing one side of the story here. Who knows what has happened between the OP and her mother or why the mother is so concerned. Of course, the OP could be completely innocent and her mother could be an interfering old bat, but alternatively......

Mado

OP, I have some difficulties believing or even understanding your story.Did you more or less remove him from your mother who had been given custody through the courts?

Is there a father anywhere in the picture?

turn2stone

Mado wrote: »

OP, I have some difficulties believing or even understanding your story.Did you more or less remove him from your mot who had been given custody through the courts?

Is there a father anywhere in the picture?

No, I didnt remove him from my mother, when my child went to stay with his family my mother refused to give him back to me, she said she had a residence order and would see me in court.

My sons dad died a few years ago so not in the picture.

mishkanorman

It sounds a horrible, heartbreaking situation to be in OP, the first thing to do is get yourself a good solicitor experienced in this field.

Good luck, I hope it all turns out well for you.

Mado

turn2stone wrote: »

No, I didnt remove him from my mother, when my child went to stay with his family my mother refused to give him back to me, she said she had a residence order and would see me in court.

My sons dad died a few years ago so not in the picture.

Oh dear, that doesn't help your situation and isolation, I feel sorry for you about this.

The school issue is a detail compared to the problem. I suspect they have to disclose whatever they have.Then you can start arguing against her case and get your son back.

emsywoo123

turn2stone wrote: »

No, I didnt remove him from my mother, when my child went to stay with his family my mother refused to give him back to me, she said she had a residence order and would see me in court.

I don't get this.

Mother or not, I would destroy anyone that did that to my child, and do *whatever* was needed.

I know. I've been there.

I hope that whatever happens your child gets the best resolution from this mess.