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Peace of mind now son has own flat
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seven-day-weekend
Posts: 36,755 Forumite
I did not realise how much peace of mind my son being set up in his own flat would give me.
He doesn't earn very much, probably never will, has mild Aspergers' Syndrome and I've always worried about what would happen to him if we had to sell our house to pay for care.
Although I agree that if you have the means you should pay, I felt my son was actually a little vulnerable and was trying to think of all sorts of (legal) ways to keep our house so he could continue to live in it and it would not be sold for care home fees.
We did not think he would ever be able to get a mortgage himself as he does not earn much and would never be able to save up enough deposit to enable him to only have a small mortgage that he could afford.
Anyway, when the sale of our Spanish house was going through, a flat came on the market and due to the economic crisis was only £65k. It is a good size two-bedroom flat on a popular development.
After some enquiries, we realised that if we were to gift our son a healthy deposit from the sale of the Spanish house, he could actually afford to repay the rest on a mortgage! So we made other enquiries.
There were two stumbling blocks straight away. One was that my son had no credit rating as he has never borrowed any money, and the other was that the flat only had a 66 year lease which meant that many lenders won't touch it with a bargepole.
Long story short, a financial advisor helped us to overcome these dififculties and our son was able to get a good deal on a 40k mortgage with Santander.
....However, our house sale still had not completed, so we had not got the money for the deposit! We took out a mortgage on our UK house to provide this and paid it back once the sale of the Spanish house had completed (paid it back this week.):rotfl:
Son finally moved into his flat in February. We are going to pay to extend the lease once he is eligible to do so in two years' time.
Anyway, this has given me so much peace of mind! I don't mind now if our house has to go for care home fees. In fact if my husband had to go into care, I would willingly downsize to enable him to have the best possible care. We now have choice! Our son is sorted and in his own place, and that's given us so much freedom.
Sorry this is a bit long, just thought it might interest people who are also worried about these issues. Sometimes you have to think outside the box to resolve an issue.
He doesn't earn very much, probably never will, has mild Aspergers' Syndrome and I've always worried about what would happen to him if we had to sell our house to pay for care.
Although I agree that if you have the means you should pay, I felt my son was actually a little vulnerable and was trying to think of all sorts of (legal) ways to keep our house so he could continue to live in it and it would not be sold for care home fees.
We did not think he would ever be able to get a mortgage himself as he does not earn much and would never be able to save up enough deposit to enable him to only have a small mortgage that he could afford.
Anyway, when the sale of our Spanish house was going through, a flat came on the market and due to the economic crisis was only £65k. It is a good size two-bedroom flat on a popular development.
After some enquiries, we realised that if we were to gift our son a healthy deposit from the sale of the Spanish house, he could actually afford to repay the rest on a mortgage! So we made other enquiries.
There were two stumbling blocks straight away. One was that my son had no credit rating as he has never borrowed any money, and the other was that the flat only had a 66 year lease which meant that many lenders won't touch it with a bargepole.
Long story short, a financial advisor helped us to overcome these dififculties and our son was able to get a good deal on a 40k mortgage with Santander.
....However, our house sale still had not completed, so we had not got the money for the deposit! We took out a mortgage on our UK house to provide this and paid it back once the sale of the Spanish house had completed (paid it back this week.):rotfl:
Son finally moved into his flat in February. We are going to pay to extend the lease once he is eligible to do so in two years' time.
Anyway, this has given me so much peace of mind! I don't mind now if our house has to go for care home fees. In fact if my husband had to go into care, I would willingly downsize to enable him to have the best possible care. We now have choice! Our son is sorted and in his own place, and that's given us so much freedom.
Sorry this is a bit long, just thought it might interest people who are also worried about these issues. Sometimes you have to think outside the box to resolve an issue.
(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
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Comments
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well done you, pro active and yes i can understand it would give you peace of mind to assist him this way what great parents you are.my bark is worse than my bite!!!!!!!!0
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It has made me feel good to know that no-one can chuck him out of his flat (assuming he continues to pay the mortgage,
) and that his housing is secure for his future. Even if he loses his job, as it has two bedrooms he can have a lodger to help pay the mortgage, although I think he would still be OK as his girlfriend contributes towards the other bills.
We both knew it was right to help him, but I had no idea what a weight would be lifted from me!
Thanks for your good wishes.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
So glad to hear that news, SDW.
Our adult children can still be a worry.Member #14 of SKI-ers club
Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.
(Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)0 -
SDW - I can completely see where you're coming from. I've given my family financial help (not loans) so that they can have a better life now with less monetary stress while I'm still alive to see it.
Pollypenny - we always worry about our children, even if we don't want to do that!" The greatest wealth is to live content with little."
Plato0 -
What if ... the gf you mention later gets pregnant, then kicks him out of the flat and stays there herself, demanding maintenance from your son.... then moving in a new lover?0
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PasturesNew wrote: »What if ... the gf you mention later gets pregnant, then kicks him out of the flat and stays there herself, demanding maintenance from your son.... then moving in a new lover?
I don't really see your point? Yes I suppose this is a (very unlikely) possible scenario, but are you saying that I should not have peace of mind in case this happens?
Her name is not on the deeds and she does not contribute towards the mortgage or service charge. The money for the flat and bills goes into an account with his name on, not hers.
It is his flat, with his name on and therefore he will always have a right to live in it.
Having said that, she is a lovely girl, they have been together for five years. I'm sure if they ever did split up something would be sorted out.
You can't rule out every 'what if' scenario, otherwise you would end up doing nothing. All you can do is your best.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
Good wishes from me too SDW, and I can endorse everything you say,
I would also add, if your lad needed every single penny you own to help him out, you would give him it in a heartbeat, because that's what us parents do.
My son is settled with his wife and two little girls down south (boo hoo) Daughter and partner have a property and will tie the knot in October (wey hey) She is 39 and her fiance is priceless, I can honetsly say because of peace of mind, if I died tomorrow I would die a happy woman.make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
Yes, I agree with others on here, that is what parents do. You can stop being someone's wife or girlfriend, but you never stop being a parent. (AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
It's nice to read of your outcome and resulting peace of mind - best wishes to you all
Flat = £65k
Peace of mind - pricelessYou never know how far-reaching something good, that you may do or say today, may affect the lives of others tomorrow0 -
Peace of mind - priceless
Totally Agree0
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