To Marry or not? Pros and cons please

tori.k

It could do, how do you get on with his children?
Death always brings out the worse in people legally "common law spouse's" don't exist you would have no say over the arrangements and also no recourse to breaverment benefits like a married couple, you have made will's which helps but if your were to inherit a large sum (think its £285k there would be tax to pay on the sum)
TBH if you have no real aversion to getting wed i would do it for the added security it dosn't have to be a massive do, couple of witnesses in the register office is no more hassle then making a will.

The main reason DH and I got married was for the added security we already had the house and kids so we just headed off abroad for a holiday and got hitched at the same time no fuss, nothing has change i still use my maiden name and life goes on as it always has, only thing to remember is that marraige invalidates will's so even tho it's the same person you will have to make a new one if you decide to get married

browneyedbazzi

Hezzawithkids wrote: »

The fact that you are asking the question means that for you its better not to.

I disagree with that statement. It's like thinking things through offends some people's idea of romance associated with relationship decisions.

Some people make decisions from instinct or 'gut' feelings etc but there are also a lot of people whose decision making style involves thinking all around the subject, asking questions, weighing up pros and cons etc. That way of making decisions is no less valid than any other. To just say 'if you question then you shouldn't do it' is unfair and if everyone followed that logic then there would be a lot of people who would never do anything.

When I married my ex it felt right. I 'followed my heart,' and didn't over think the decision - and it ended up being the worst decision I ever made. The romantic ideal doesn't always end well!

daska

Marriage is essentially a property contract that protects the weaker party - one of the financial benefits is the legal protection it affords at such low cost. It's probably fair to say that it doesn't provide so much of a benefit (for most people) until something goes wrong - but when it does then it can prove valuable. An example of this might be inheriting if your spouse dies intestate - partners might find what they considered joint assets are distributed to people they don't even know.

fluffnutter

Tax implications:

You can transfer money between spouses without being liable to capital gains tax, thus you can use both your allowances if selling an asset, e.g. I have £20K's worth of shares to sell. If I sell these myself I'll be liable to pay CGT on all income over £10,600. If married I can give my spouse half of them to sell, and neither of us will be liable to pay tax because we'll both be under the threshold.

Similarly there's no inheritance tax between spouses. If I want to leave my entire estate to my non-married partner, he'll be liable to pay IHT on assets over £325K. If married, no tax is payable. Plus you 'inherit' your spouse's allowance therefore when you die and wish to pass on the estate, your beneficiaries will benefit from a £650K threshold.

You can move money between yourselves to take advantage of your personal tax allowances, e.g. if I pay tax but my husband doesn't, I can move my savings into his name to take advantage of his tax allowance.

You are next of kin to your spouse, so any decisions that need making about their health will be made by you, rather than a child, parent, sibling etc.

There are other more minor benefits such as possibly being entitled to schemes your OH's employer might offer, being able to get cheaper joint policies for things, e.g. car insurance.

This is just off the top of my head and I'm NOT a tax expert. If you want definitive information on the tax implications of being married, best to consult an expert.

C_Mababejive

Are you worried that he wants to marry because you are older and therefore he is thinking ahead that he may be left alone and wants to secure his position? Or is that a bit harsh?

Person_one

I know this isn't something that's nice to think about but with the age gap there's a chance that he could become responsible for your care as you get older, 12 years doesn't seem like a big gap now but at 80 and 68, or 85 and 73 it might become an issue.

Being married would make things a lot easier for him if you become unable to make your own decisions.

swingaloo

Thank you for the replies so far.

As for the 'if you have to ask the question dont do it'- I can explain why Im asking.

I was married very unhappily for a very long time. I always said I would never marry gain and relished the feeling of freedom and not having to wear a ring after my divorce. Even though I have been with my partner for some years now I still feel an 'independant' person. I have no reason to think our relationship would change by being married so its not a fear of that. I am happy with him and see my future with him.

And yes, it wasnt the most romantic proposal and we have laughed about it since. We were at the top of the Eiffel Tower 6 months ago and he clearly hadnt considered it then!
But I find it romantic that someone who knows me, warts and all, who has always said he never wants to marry again, and who has been with me long enough for the rosy spectcles to come off still wants to marry me.

swingaloo

I do have to say that Im not worried that he may be 'securing his position' because Im older but I appreciate the post all the same.
There isnt really anything to secure in those terms.

As I said befor, there are no large bank accounts, insurnce policies or suchlike. If anything I would benefit as when I retire he will still be working and earning.
Im older but a lot healthier although that dosnt count for much. Mum was 10 years younger than my dad and died 15 years before him. I dont think either of us are thinking of going into marriage worrying that one of us may end up caring for the other. That would happen anyway wether we amrry or not.

Person_one

swingaloo wrote: »

I do have to say that Im not worried that he may be 'securing his position' because Im older but I appreciate the post all the same.
There isnt really anything to secure in those terms.

As I said befor, there are no large bank accounts, insurnce policies or suchlike. If anything I would benefit as when I retire he will still be working and earning.
Im older but a lot healthier although that dosnt count for much. Mum was 10 years younger than my dad and died 15 years before him. I dont think either of us are thinking of going into marriage worrying that one of us may end up caring for the other. That would happen anyway wether we amrry or not.

I think you've slightly misunderstood my point about caring.

Its not that you wouldn't do it for each other if not married, but that being married puts you in the position of being legally allowed to make decisions for each other if one of you isn't capable anymore. It just makes life a lot easier sometimes, there isn't as much red tape to battle through.

I work in a hospital and it is a LOT easier for married people or civil partners to get things done.

Seanymph

but if you do 'care' for each other if you are married the other one can talk to doctors, arrange appointments, be consulted, arrange support...... if you are not married, and therefore not next of kin, it can get more complicated.