If a Twelve Year Old Chose to Leave Home, Would They Be Sent Back?

VikkiiKawaii

If a twelve year old chose to leave home due to family circumstances and moved in with their seventeen year old sister and her eighteen year old boyfriend would anyone force her to go home?

I'm asking hypothetically as my sister has said when I move out she would like to follow me and I want to know if she could be forced to go home again.

Four_leaf_clover_2

Please dont take this the wrong way, but at 17 I dont think you would be old enough to be considered a legal guardian to a child of 12. I think you would have to be 18 minimum to take on official responsibility for her. I hate to say this but by law your boyfriend would be the only official adult in the household and he is not related to your sister.

It would also very much depend on the circumstances at home and why she wants to leave with you. It would be worthwhile speaking with CAB and seeing if they can advise you further.

VikkiiKawaii

I didn't think so. I don't really want to say too much on here but I don't feel like my Mum - unfortunately - is being particularly responsible. I just wanted to know if they'd force her home. I turn eighteen in December.

meritaten

I too would doubt that you would be considered a suitable guardian for your sister. BUT - I dont know WHY your 12 yr old sister is so desperate to leave home. I do think that the courts would listen to a 12 year old and if you proved to be a mature and sensible person they may allow you guardianship.
and to do this hun - take advice from a family law solicitor (I am guessing that there are things going on in the family home which may affect matters). contact CAB and ask for help. or even the NSPCC or Barnados. if you are willing to help your sister and she is determined to leave - then you need all the help you can get.
The court may well grant you guardianship if the alternative is your sis running away or being in danger.

Fourcandles_3

I work in Child Protection and it comes down to the detail. It depends on how mum responds. The police may not return her if they feel she is in a safe environment but they may call social services who may start an investigation.

Depending on the level and cause of difficulties at home you need to think about if things could be improved with some outside help such as social services or counselling.

Good luck x

rachbc

it would depend on so many things - the reason our sister doesn't want to be at home, how much stability and security you can offer etc. Her opinion is likely to be taken into consideration but it is likely Social Care would become involved to ensure she is safe.

In my limited experiences this type of arrangements work ok until the younger sibling gets to be an older teenager and the older sibling is simply not equipped emotionally or practically to 'parent' a teen and the relationship really struggles/ breaksdown

peachyprice

Yes, OP comes across as an articulate, sensible, mature young mother I'm glad her young sister has OP looking out for her.

DVardysShadow

VikkiiKawaii wrote: »

I didn't think so. I don't really want to say too much on here but I don't feel like my Mum - unfortunately - is being particularly responsible. I just wanted to know if they'd force her home. I turn eighteen in December.

OK, it is difficult for you to say very much at all.

My thought on this si that you need to take a firmer grip of the situation and for the sake of your sister do something which does not involve her running away and turning up on your doorstep.

Without specifics, it is hard to suggest what is required, but it could be SS intervention to deal with the situation at home - or is could be intervention which actually brings her to be with you on a planned basis. If she is just going to run away when it all gets too much and turn up on your doorstep that is when it all goes wrong.

meritaten

The OP obviously wants to help her sister out of a bad environment - despite having a baby to cope with. I admire her for that!
I wish the OP well - her concern for her sister is to be commended.

jungle_jane

Vikkii you definitely need advice hun and the CAB (Citizen's Advice Bureau) is a great resource, as is the NSPCC. I am sure other posters will come along with other (free) resources that you can use.

My bit of advice is that if there are issues with your mum I suggest that you start keeping a diary about what happened and when - in future the courts and authorities will need specific information in order to help you. You should get your little sister to do the same.

Obviously the diaries need to be kept safe - perhaps you can each have a password protected document on a computer (you can save stuff like that online so it is not kept on a computer that may be accessed by other people) and this might be better than a written diary. If you need some help or ideas setting this up then let me know and I can give you some tips.

puddy

well, the only similar situation i had was where a single mother died leaving 3 children, one 13, one 15 and the other 18. the 18 year old had the tenancy of the mother's home put into her own name and wanted to take the care of the other 2 children. it was a difficult asessment because we had to be sure about the practical arrangements let alone the emotional ability of the older girl to meet the needs of 2 teens, one of which if i recall could get stroppy at times.

its not perfect by any means but the decision was made that the kids would stay in the older girl's care. she was at collge and part time work if i recall and we helped with getting things like child benefit and housing benefit and stuff. however the options for these younger kids were foster homes. it was far better that they were in a family environment with support from us if necessary

of course a baby would be part of the consideration, just like the assessment above, but then so would the birth mother, there needs to be assessment as to why she is not meeting the 12 year olds needs.