Not invite auntie, uncle and cousins?

mrsbunntobe

thank god im not the only one in this boat! i had put a cousin on the evening as i hadn't seen him in 6 years due to him travelling america and at my sisters wedding it was the first time he had met OH and they talked like they had known each other forever, so OH was upset to find he was only an evening guest. so there is one swap sorted

Thanks for your kind advice

Idiophreak

I don't get have too much to do with my cousins, but I invited them all to the whole day anyway...I figured it was a good chance to try and build some bridges etc and I was quite pleased to have them there in the end. (aside from the one that RSVP'd yes then didn't show without any explanation)

That said, if I'd have had to choose between them and people that I'm close to, I'd not have hesitated to invite who I wanted. If people aren't mature enough to get that, I've not much time for them, anyway....

TGWTARN

We're only having about 50 guests at our wedding and no extra evening guests - that will include OH's aunt & uncle and one of my uncles and two aunts (I have LOTS of other aunts & uncles, plus cousins, plus great aunts and uncles).
But we are planning to have a large family gathering post-wedding as a sort of celebration for those we aren't inviting in order to include them without involving them on the actual day. No idea what this will entail yet though!

SaLoGo

My personal opinion is no likey, no invitey!!

My (extended) family has an unwritten rule that we invite Aunties & Uncles to the day do's and cousins to the night do's because there's so many of us!

katie1812

It is your day you should invite who you want. We were told to invite a few people as they had gone to sibling weddings, we sent them save the date cards about a year ago and now after sending out the invites, they have declined. We honestly couldn't care, we didn't want them there. We just didn't want to upset the grandparents. I wouldn't bother inviting them,you're having a small wedding too

Valli

I have many cousins and haven't been invited to the weddings of some of them. That, in itself, wasn't a problem. We're a large family. And anyone with any sense realises that with weddings costing so much 'per guest' then numbers have to be kept to an affordable level.

It would have been nice though, in at least one case, to have been told the wedding was taking place but numbers were limited, especially as other cousins were invited, as were my half brother and half sister. Instead we we kept in the dark and only found out about it afterwards.

Still, on the plus side WE didn't even have to send a card. And I may well not feel obliged to schlep half way across the country to attend a funeral in the near future;)

Stephb1986_2

If you don't like them and they were ignorant to you then don't invite them simples.

We've got limited number of 60 I don't think my h2b realises that his family alone is his "30" and wants to invite some mates with their kids etc I don't think so. I suggested to him that only immediate family children are invited her said well my mate (J) won't come because of the kids I said that he has family why can't they look after them for one day and he just made some feeble excuse. TBH said mates kids are animals and run round like animals I don't want them there.

Might sound harsh but his mate hasn't really ever made a effort with me so why should I feed him his girlfriend and 3 kids at 65 quid a head??

Who said weddings were easy eh lol

Steph xx

rosalie-lavender

mrsbunntobe wrote: »

he looks down upon my mum as she doesn't work due to an illness, and now i can't work because i also have it, last time i saw him he started getting in my face about 'plenty of people learn to live with it'

If someone treated me like that they definitely wouldn't be getting an invite family or not.

As far as the photos go wouldn't it be the other way round, you might regret having them there? If you dislike them and he is nasty to you, do you really want to look at them every time you look at the wedding photos?

laura_hoggle

I think if I had not been invited to a recent wedding of theirs, then I would not invite them to mine. And if you haven't spoken to them in a while, and didn't speak at someone else's wedding, are you likely to even notice if they aren't at yours?

OH and I have also had problems with our guest list. I have A LOT of cousins who are mostly 10-20 years older than me, and we went to their weddings growing up - but now a lot of them have children, so we have made the decision just to invite them to the evening do.

We also have a bit of a family rift where one of my aunts (who is also one of my godmothers) caused a lot of problems between my mum and dad a few years ago, and my dad and brother hate being in the same room as her now. Mum still speaks to her occasionally and is worried about the problems it will cause if we don't invite her and her husband - yet I worry that if I invite her, my brother will refuse to come.

We are also inviting another of my godmothers, who used to be married to my uncle (dad's brother) but got divorced nearly 30 years ago. They have both since remarried, and my godmother is certainly much more of an aunt than he was an uncle. Recently my parents went for a drink with the uncle and other family members... After he'd had a few drinks, he kept going on about how he should have never divorced her... This could be an interesting situation on the day!!!

SaLoGo wrote: »

My personal opinion is no likey, no invitey!!

I love this!! :T *disappears off to cut lots of people off the list and put more money in the honeymoon budget!*

faithless

SaLoGo wrote: »

My personal opinion is no likey, no invitey!!

This. I'm inviting only family that I like, just cousins in one case, both aunt, uncle and cousins in another, & I'm inviting two neighbours of my parents who were more like aunts to me than some real aunts I never see.

I'm certainly not going to miss people I don't like in the photos!
If uncle says nasty things it's more likely you'd remember them.and feel bad if you saw his photo, I'd think!