Not invite auntie, uncle and cousins?

mrsbunntobe

Right basically, i've got a fairly large family and we're only inviting 50 for the day.
Now, my sister has just got married and my auntie, uncle and 2 cousins were there, they didn't talk to me once! the eldest of the 2 is getting married in 2 weeks and im not invited because they're having 'a small wedding' my mum isnt even invited yet all of my other aunties are! this infuriated me yet i was willing to over look it until they didnt even make an effort at my sisters wedding!

there is people i would prefer to have at the ceremony yet have only got on the evening list. do you think its acceptable to not invite aunties and uncles at all! sounds harsh but i dont even like them!

VfM4meplse

It's your wedding, you choose the guestlist. I personally wouldn't invite anyone that is not a well-wisher.

Bear in mind that your uncle, aunt and cousins may have found it strange that you didn't talk to them? And also that by not inviting them any existing rift will only deepen.

mrsbunntobe

he looks down upon my mum as she doesn't work due to an illness, and now i can't work because i also have it, last time i saw him he started getting in my face about 'plenty of people learn to live with it'

74jax

mrsbunntobe wrote: »

there is people i would prefer to have at the ceremony yet have only got on the evening list.

do you think its acceptable to not invite aunties and uncles at all!

sounds harsh but i dont even like them!

I don't really understand why anyone would invite people to a wedding that they don't like.

It's your wedding, you invite who you want to invite.

I would make a list of everyone you want to share your day with. Then the top 50 can have a day invite and hopefully that's everyone who you want at the daytime too.

If you have people you would prefer to have at your day time to some that are invited, why on earth were the first lot invited anyway, I don't understand.

Jo84_2

I think your answer is simple.

You said you weren't invited to your cousins as they were having a small wedding, well so are you. So don't feel obliged to invite them.

JoJo

findingmyownway

Don't feel bad about inviting the people you WANT to invite instead.

I have an aunt and uncle who are invited to the wedding, but their 3 children plus partners are only invited to the evening. In theory I would like my cousins to attend, but as they all have partners and children this would be 8 spaces taken up which I just can't justify when there are genuine close friends I would prefer to have there.

mrsbunntobe

i think its just because they're family that i felt obliged to invite them

*miaomiao*

I so understand your problem. We're dealing with the same, especially since we have large families and my parents have new partners. In my experience it wasn't easy just saying who I want to invite because everyone has their own opinion when you say who you are and aren't inviting. Frankly, I wish they'd keep those to themselves.

My advice: Invite who you want taking into consideration that World War 3 isn't meant to be your wedding so if you have to give one or two places it's better than years of stress. But for someone who is so rude, like your uncle, I'm afraid I'd have to say no and add something like "I'm afraid I literally cannot make the walls move to accommodate more people, so no."

mrsbunntobe

i just feel like i might regret and not be happy with wedding photos etc

*miaomiao*

mrsbunntobe wrote: »

i just feel like i might regret and not be happy with wedding photos etc

I can understand your worry. But he might be badly behaved anyways. And if you aren't able to go to the cousins' weddings, etc then I would just rest easy as it seems that they probably aren't having heart attacks either. But I do understand. I have an aunt who doesn't keep in touch and everyone decided to attempt to guilt trip me just because I didn't want to fit here (and therefore my uncle too) onto a very limited number. Why? It's hard to see why non-communicating family members should take priority!

cord123

I only invited my auntie and uncles to the day and then cousins to the evening.. my bro hasnt invited them at all... the last time he saw them was 2 years ago so his thinking is that he would rather have his work mates who he served in afghan with than an auntie and uncle he see 3 times every decade!If you dont want them there dont invite them!! Life is too short to try and keep everyone happy all the time!