More hours in the day?

kingfisherblue

jetplane wrote: »

I have looked after a parent and like I said I wasn't criticising my friend but some people seem to fit in a lot more than others, for example I was worn out just reading kingfisherblues post and the other example I gave was a friend who fits so much into her day it makes me dizzy.

The point of my post was to find out how people manage to fit everything in and hopefully get some tips. I think lostinrates is right in that we have to schedule stuff and group it together.

I consider myself to be a good organiser but sometimes I spend a lot of time and energy for little result and underestimate how much time it takes to get some things done and therefore end up rushing about.

I'm worn out too

One of my secrets is Post It notes. They are invaluable. I can put all sorts of information on them. I stick them on the back of the front door so I see them when I go out, and I often have them in the car as well. I can group things together on a Post It, so when I go to the community centre, I know that I need to attend a meeting, print out a calendar of events for the disability group, research and print outt anything for Rainbows and Brownies, and nip over to Tesco for any bits and bobs that either we or my mum need.

When I go to pick up the kids, I hate being late, so I go a bit earlier and sit in the car reading. The same when I pick my youngest up from school - 20 minutes of peace to read or sew . I sometimes use that time for Rainbow or Brownie planning as well - those Post Its are very handy!

My daughter's shifts are written on a blackboard as soon as she receives them, so that I can organise around her if necessary.

I'm not always organised, but life is easier when I am. If my son has been up more than four times the night before, or if i haven't had a chance to catch up on sleep at the weekend, I will go back to bed for a sleep once the kids are at school - the housework can wait, although I do put on the washer before I go upstairs.

If you have a family, it is important to get them involved as well. One of my children has severe disabilities, but he can take his plate through to the kitchen and put it into the dishwasher, just like the others can. He can put his dirty clothes in front of the washing machine, his nappy into the medical waste bin, and his books onto the shelf. My other son could cook a full breakfast at 9 years old, can change bedding, empty the dishwasher and put everything away, bring in the washing from outside, clean the bathroom, and put the wheelie bins out. My daughter is capable of most things, and does most of the batch cooking.

I don't have specific jobs for them to do. We pull together and help each other. My daughter and I do most of the housework between us, but the boys do have to help out.

When my daughter leaves home, she will be able to run her own home and feed herself and any partner or family that she has. Some of her friends can barely peel a potato.

Time management can mean knowing when to say 'No' and knowing when to delegate or get others involved.

Right, when I said I was worn out, I was tellling the truth. I'm shattered, so I'm off to bed with my kindle, for ten minutes reading before I doze off. First feed is due about midnight, but with a bit of luck my son might sleep a bit longer before he wakes for it.

Night everyone x

stiltwalker

There is a saying about 'if you need something doing ask a busy person' and it is so true. If you are habitually run off your feet you tend to find ways of scheduling and organising to fit more stuff in. I like to think of it a bit like the space saving storage solutions at Ikea - it's amazing what you can squish into a small space with the right tools!

Too right about the delegation Kingfisher although this is a skill I still struggle with as it generally turns out that by the time I've explained what needs doing I could have done it quicker myself!

I'm currently juggling 2 small kids - one disabled, and attendant appointments, therapies and social activities, 2 level 2 open university courses, a house and OH (although he does his best he also works hard and is doing OU too), OH's elderly parents, patchwork and quilting (3 projects on go), community work, recently helped to run felting workshop and got a silk paper making workshop coming up soon. We're also getting married in November so organising that too! We try to get up to my parents for the weekend once a month so they can look after me and we have a nice family weekend.

I'm currently rubbing my hands in glee as when one OU course ends with an exam in June I will have an extra 8 or so hours a week and then when the second one finishes in October I'll get another 8 hours! Pure luxury and 3 months off til my next course starts! No doubt I'll find something else to fill the time up with.

My parents are both now so busy in retirement that they have no idea how they found the time to go to work! So maybe it runs in the family!

jetplane

kingfisherblue wrote: »

I'm worn out too

One of my secrets is Post It notes. They are invaluable. I can put all sorts of information on them. I stick them on the back of the front door so I see them when I go out, and I often have them in the car as well.

I'm not always organised, but life is easier when I am. If my son has been up more than four times the night before, or if i haven't had a chance to catch up on sleep at the weekend, I will go back to bed for a sleep once the kids are at school - the housework can wait, although I do put on the washer before I go upstairs.

Time management can mean knowing when to say 'No' and knowing when to delegate or get others involved.

Post its sound good as I can leave them in the places where I need them. I don't know how much time I spend trying to remember what I was going to do next or looking for my to-do list.

stiltwalker wrote: »

There is a saying about 'if you need something doing ask a busy person' and it is so true. If you are habitually run off your feet you tend to find ways of scheduling and organising to fit more stuff in. I like to think of it a bit like the space saving storage solutions at Ikea - it's amazing what you can squish into a small space with the right tools!

Too right about the delegation Kingfisher although this is a skill I still struggle with as it generally turns out that by the time I've explained what needs doing I could have done it quicker myself!

Oh I have been guilty of doing this to others at work, asking someone to do something because I know it will get done rather than someone else who may or may not finish the job.

Yet in my home life family always come to me first and that includes extended family.

onlyroz wrote: »

Most people who work full time and have kids just learn to prioritise things differently. E.g. do you *really* need to hoover every day? And do you *really* need to iron everything, and wash every stitch of clothing after wearing it just once?

These appear to be common themes prioritise, organise and delegate. And then just saying no to squeezing more in.

Maybe we need to put ourselves nearer the top of the priority list or do you think some people will always find ways to fill their days.


Kimberley82 my friend doesn't have children but the post was never meant to be about her. However when I was a sahm I did housework, went to the gym, studied, did volunteer work, shopped, cooked etc and I still had plenty time for me and my family once they were home from nursery / school / work.

j.e.j.

I think fluffnutter's post about sums it up.

And there does seem to be a competitive streak amongst women about who is the most 'busy'! It's an uncomfortable truth, perhaps, that when people go round saying 'look how busy I am' they're really telling themselves: look how important I am..

As to how to fit it all in, I'd say just decide what you can reasonably manage and do that. Most importantly, don't worry about other people thinking "huh, is that all she does, I could do double that AND still have spare time.."

fluffnutter

jetplane wrote: »

PS Any time saving tips?

Possibly the most useful thing I ever 'learnt' during my time at work was whilst I was on a management course. Such things are normally terrible but this one was pretty awesome and run by a very inspiring person.

He was very keen on how to prioritise well, not merely so that your days become more manageable but to crystallise what's important to you in terms of your overall life and goals.

Firstly we were told to ask ourselves the question 'What do we want out of life? What do we want to happen next that would help us achieve our 'dream'?'. These dreams should be attainable and specific, e.g. 'I'd like a promotion', 'I'd like to move house', 'I'd like to get married', etc. He asked us to look at everything in our lives, not just work, that needed doing. All those little tasks that we put off, such as making a doctor's appointment, getting a hair cut, asking for a pay rise, tidying out the shed, seeing your child's teacher about something.

He then asked us to assess each one for two reasons - how much closer it would bring us to achieving our dream (its importance) and how quickly it needed doing (its urgency).

Take 'getting a hair cut' as an example. If your dream is 'I want to move house', getting your hair cut is neither important nor urgent. If your dream is 'I'd like a promotion' (and you have a promotion board interview next week) then it becomes both important and urgent.

Once every task was prioritised it would be placed in a grid of four squares whereby urgent and important was in one corner, with non-urgent and non-important in the opposite. You then concentrate on the urgent and important stuff.

With a bit of practice, this way of looking at your life becomes second-nature. I use it to great effect even now and I can honestly say it's really changed how I view my life and what's important to me. It stops you getting bogged down with all the clutter and noise of everyday life, it stops you being swayed by other people's priorities and demands, helps you feel calm and focused, and helps you achieve those dreams.

Every task in your life.. ask yourself two questions:

1. How important is this?
2. How urgent is this?

If the answer to both is 'not much' then why bother doing it at all? That's how to prioritise and use your time effectively.

dizziblonde

Think it depends on the type of person you are - I'm a chronic procrastinator, but when I get down to doing stuff - it gets done incredibly quickly... my timesink is putting starting things off. I cope getting round this by having some fairly solid routines of what I do when - because I know full well if I don't get the laundry downstairs and in the washer (not ON every day but in the place it's meant to live) - then it merges 2 days into 3 into 4... there's a huge mountain to sort out and I slip back into my old pattern of only washing when the entire planet's run out of pants - stuff like that. I guess it's a variation on my mum's system of running around like a looney when she got in from work - because she knew when she sat down in front of the TV - that would be it for the night.

Once when I was teaching full time - we had a staff meeting devoted to time management - and flipping heck did it become a competitive "I work more hours than..." fest... and the staff shouting loudest - were the ones in the staffroom till 5.30pm every night drinking coffee and gossiping... I can't be doing with that sort of thing - I'd work the hours I mentally designated for my after-school stuff, and go home and have minimal fiddling about on the computer type stuff to do on an evening (stuff I actually enjoyed doing).

I also like lists... well you can waste a good 30 minutes with a nice cup of coffee making them, use lots of pretty coloured pens in the process - and then there's a distinct joy in ticking things off them.

SandC

It often appears to me that the ones shouting about being sooo busy are so busy telling everyone how busy they are that they aren't finding the time to get things done. Just quietly get on with things without making a song and dance about it and it'll get sorted far quicker!

But honestly I don't know how some people cope with kids, rest of family and work. But I do know that if you start getting into a convo with friends or colleagues about it, then it will swiftly degenerate into a 'I'm busier than you' competition.

A bit like the ones I've seen more than once amongst my friends over who had the worst childbirth.

I also think that people have different priorities and nobody is 'right' about that. Some people feel the need to always be cleaning and always be doing something otherwise they feel like they are being lazy. But they then also feel like they don't have time to relax.

jetplane

fluffnutter wrote: »

Firstly we were told to ask ourselves the question 'What do we want out of life? What do we want to happen next that would help us achieve our 'dream'?'. These dreams should be attainable and specific, e.g. 'I'd like a promotion', 'I'd like to move house', 'I'd like to get married', etc. He asked us to look at everything in our lives, not just work, that needed doing. All those little tasks that we put off, such as making a doctor's appointment, getting a hair cut, asking for a pay rise, tidying out the shed, seeing your child's teacher about something.

He then asked us to assess each one for two reasons - how much closer it would bring us to achieving our dream (its importance) and how quickly it needed doing (its urgency).

Take 'getting a hair cut' as an example. If your dream is 'I want to move house', getting your hair cut is neither important nor urgent. If your dream is 'I'd like a promotion' (and you have a promotion board interview next week) then it becomes both important and urgent.

Once every task was prioritised it would be placed in a grid of four squares whereby urgent and important was in one corner, with non-urgent and non-important in the opposite. You then concentrate on the urgent and important stuff.

With a bit of practice, this way of looking at your life becomes second-nature. I use it to great effect even now and I can honestly say it's really changed how I view my life and what's important to me. It stops you getting bogged down with all the clutter and noise of everyday life, it stops you being swayed by other people's priorities and demands, helps you feel calm and focused, and helps you achieve those dreams.

Every task in your life.. ask yourself two questions:

1. How important is this?
2. How urgent is this?

If the answer to both is 'not much' then why bother doing it at all? That's how to prioritise and use your time effectively.

Why thank you I shall replace my lists with grids.

I have no desire to compete to be the busiest person, I haven't got the energy and I don't think many people do it by choice. I am surprised that some have taken a them and us view, but grateful to those who have posted their tips.

Now where can I get some pretty coloured pens.

tyllwyd

When my DD was a pre-schooler, I used to meet up with her best friend and her mum but she was constantly busy - she'd organise two or three different events to do during the day, and go straight from one to the next without going home, so you had to fit into the slot that she had available. I remember being invited over to lunch at her house, and she was proposing leaving us to finish lunch on our own and lock up the house because she had to rush off to take her daughter to a ballet class, which I did find a bit odd!

Air_Cooled_75

Blimey, I have a 22 month old and I hardly have any spare time, what am I doing wrong, I don't even do much housework