More hours in the day?

jetplane

Me and my friends were trying to arrange some time to get together and the chat got round to how we are all just sooo busy. However one of them said she didn't have time to do anything because she had to go to her mums everyday to do her washing and housework and then go home and do her own in the afternoon and cook her husbands tea.

I thought !!!!!! is that all? I don't mean to undermine her as I loved being a SAHM and working part time but I always had plenty spare time. One of the other girls works full time, has a 4 year old and has set up and is running a seperate business. So it got me wondering how do we fit everything in and where does anyone find the time? Do you have to change your priorities? Have we been ripped of by womens lib? Should the slogan you can HAVE it all have actually read you can DO it all?

Any tips on better time management as opposed to money management?

rachbc

jetplane wrote: »

However one of them said she didn't have time to do anything because she had to go to her mums everyday to do her washing and housework and then go home and do her own in the afternoon and cook her husbands tea.

I thought !!!!!! is that all? I don't mean to undermine her as I loved being a SAHM and working part time but I always had plenty spare time.

Yeh but where you caring for a parent at the same time?

Or maybe she's just subtly telling you she doesn't want to socialise if you....

fluffnutter

Time is subjective. The tasks you have can easily expand or contract depending on how much time you think you have, and someone who does little can feel busy whilst their active friend does far more and yet feels they still have time to spare.

People also prioritise things differently. I know of lots of people who say 'I don't get time to read a newspaper/book etc.' and yet spend every evening watching telly for three hours. But the telly is their choice of activity and to their mind, they don't have the time to read.

There's also the concept of what I call 'death row mentality'. If you have no job, no routine or something like a child to occupy you (as is the case with my 'retired' friend), your brain switches off from the thought that basically you don't have anything to do for the rest of your life, and starts to, if not invent things, then at least perceive them differently. For example, my 'retired' friend will say things like 'I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, then the next day the car needs its MOT. There just aren't enough hours in the day'. This leaves me thinking '!!!!!!? How can you possibly think you're busy if the only thing you've done in 48 hours is get a quick hair cut and take the car to the garage?'. But he thinks he's busy and it's about personal perception.

Additionally, people clog their days up with fairly fruitless tasks. They think they ought to be doing *this* and they must do *that*. It's a bit like the workplace where people have endless meetings, failing to realise that nothing is ever achieved. If you ask them what they've been doing, they'll argue they've been incredibly busy going to meetings. In my opinion, many people who complain about being 'time-poor' just faff about all day doing things inefficiently or getting their panties in a twist doing things that don't benefit anyone.

In an incredibly roundabout way (but then I have lots of spare time ) I guess I'm saying it's horses for courses innit. One person's 'busy' is another person's 'not much on today'.

jetplane

rachbc wrote: »

Yeh but where you caring for a parent at the same time?

Or maybe she's just subtly telling you she doesn't want to socialise if you....

Well I was working part time 26 hours and looking after our daughter, making my husbands tea and had plenty spare time. How much washing and housework can one woman need? Her mum does not need personal care. maybe she doesn't want to come out with us but she genuinley considers herself to be a very busy woman.

Which leads on to this, it probably is all about perception.

fluffnutter wrote: »

Time is subjective. The tasks you have can easily expand or contract depending on how much time you think you have, and someone who does little can feel busy whilst their active friend does far more and yet feels they still have time to spare.

People also prioritise things differently. I know of lots of people who say 'I don't get time to read a newspaper/book etc.' and yet spend every evening watching telly for three hours. But the telly is their choice of activity and to their mind, they don't have the time to read.

There's also the concept of what I call 'death row mentality'. If you have no job, no routine or something like a child to occupy you (as is the case with my 'retired' friend), your brain switches off from the thought that basically you don't have anything to do for the rest of your life, and starts to, if not invent things, then at least perceive them differently. For example, my 'retired' friend will say things like 'I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, then the next day the car needs its MOT. There just aren't enough hours in the day'. This leaves me thinking '!!!!!!? How can you possibly think you're busy if the only thing you've done in 48 hours is get a quick hair cut and take the car to the garage?'. But he thinks he's busy and it's about personal perception.

Additionally, people clog their days up with fairly fruitless tasks. They think they ought to be doing *this* and they must do *that*. It's a bit like the workplace where people have endless meetings, failing to realise that nothing is ever achieved. If you ask them what they've been doing, they'll argue they've been incredibly busy going to meetings. In my opinion, many people who complain about being 'time-poor' just faff about all day doing things inefficiently or getting their panties in a twist doing things that don't benefit anyone.

In an incredibly roundabout way (but then I have lots of spare time ) I guess I'm saying it's horses for courses innit. One person's 'busy' is another person's 'not much on today'.

Meetings! Definately some people have meetings about the next meeting. I have to be selective and put my apologies in and never seem to miss anything important.

I also have afternoons where I look at my work and think just how much faffing about have I done today? I am forever writing to-do lists that get longer.

I have to get my hair cut on an evening after work and last week before I had to arrange a lift to the garage before and after work, and rearrange my work day so that I could stay in one place just to get my car MOT'd:rotfl:

PS Any time saving tips?

kingfisherblue

I have always said that I would love to be able to buy a few more hours from Morrisons, as I never seem to have enough time. Having said that, I have a disabled son who needs quite a bit of care both day and overnight. He often has appointments, and I have two other children as well (although one is now an adult, still living at home). I also volunteer at my local community centre, run Rainbows and Brownies, and I'm involved in a local group for families with disabled children.

My mum is no longer in the first flush of youth, and whilst she is still quite active, there are some things that she just can't manage and needs my help.

The boys attend a couple of clubs each week and I drive them there and back.

I do have meetings to attend at times, but there are some that I don't attend as they are not as necessary as others or because I prioritise - and my kids come before meetings!

I do get the housework done, but maybe not to the same standard as my MIL would like . The house is clean, if not as tidy as it could be. My kids are clean and well fed, they are loved and I manage to spend some individual time with each of them most days - not always enough time, but I do try. The washing is done, the ironing maybe not (definitely not at the moment ).

I read every day and spend at least a bit of time on the computer. I try to sew for at least a short while a couple of times a week. Yes, I could spend this time catching up on the tidying or reducing the ironing pile, but life is for living. It's too short for a steam iron to be my best friend. My family, my interests (including volunteering) and having a chance to relax are more important.

lostinrates

Its not allways the hours, its when and where.

When io was really busy i managed to fit everything in. I burnt the candles at both ends and scheduled with efficiency so i fit things in when i was in the vicinity for somethinig else.

Now i have hours, but they are not when other peoe do, and i have not the freedom to travel so much anymore, nor the health to overschedule myself.:(

meritaten

but jetplane - your friend may be running two households. it may not be just a case of running the hoover over and dusting a bit - she may have her laundry to do, bills to pay, appointments to arrange (and take mum to) and arranging house maintenance etc. I can tell you that this takes more hours than a part time job! my sis and I manage my mums home between us - and we often need to call in our bro to deal with people like roofers (she had a leak recently even thought the roof was supposed to have been dealt with last summer). then there is her pension, her banking and her 'activities' to arrange. and mum seems to think we have all the time in world and is forever complaining that we just rush about and dont sit and 'chat' with her!

Ive brought up three kids and worked part-time for most of the last 30 odd years - but I couldnt have done it if I had had to look after mum. not as 'well as' the part time job - but 'instead of'. Its really hard when you have to look after a parent.

jetplane

I have looked after a parent and like I said I wasn't criticising my friend but some people seem to fit in a lot more than others, for example I was worn out just reading kingfisherblues post and the other example I gave was a friend who fits so much into her day it makes me dizzy.

The point of my post was to find out how people manage to fit everything in and hopefully get some tips. I think lostinrates is right in that we have to schedule stuff and group it together.

I consider myself to be a good organiser but sometimes I spend a lot of time and energy for little result and underestimate how much time it takes to get some things done and therefore end up rushing about.

onlyroz

Most people who work full time and have kids just learn to prioritise things differently. E.g. do you *really* need to hoover every day? And do you *really* need to iron everything, and wash every stitch of clothing after wearing it just once?

Kimberley82

also depends how much she does with her kids

I was aalways super busy when i was a sahm and it was not all house work I was spending time with my children

Bluemeanie_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

Time is subjective. The tasks you have can easily expand or contract depending on how much time you think you have, and someone who does little can feel busy whilst their active friend does far more and yet feels they still have time to spare.

People also prioritise things differently. I know of lots of people who say 'I don't get time to read a newspaper/book etc.' and yet spend every evening watching telly for three hours. But the telly is their choice of activity and to their mind, they don't have the time to read.

There's also the concept of what I call 'death row mentality'. If you have no job, no routine or something like a child to occupy you (as is the case with my 'retired' friend), your brain switches off from the thought that basically you don't have anything to do for the rest of your life, and starts to, if not invent things, then at least perceive them differently. For example, my 'retired' friend will say things like 'I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, then the next day the car needs its MOT. There just aren't enough hours in the day'. This leaves me thinking '!!!!!!? How can you possibly think you're busy if the only thing you've done in 48 hours is get a quick hair cut and take the car to the garage?'. But he thinks he's busy and it's about personal perception.

Additionally, people clog their days up with fairly fruitless tasks. They think they ought to be doing *this* and they must do *that*. It's a bit like the workplace where people have endless meetings, failing to realise that nothing is ever achieved. If you ask them what they've been doing, they'll argue they've been incredibly busy going to meetings. In my opinion, many people who complain about being 'time-poor' just faff about all day doing things inefficiently or getting their panties in a twist doing things that don't benefit anyone.

In an incredibly roundabout way (but then I have lots of spare time ) I guess I'm saying it's horses for courses innit. One person's 'busy' is another person's 'not much on today'.

I couldn't have put it better myself!