Overwhelmed by debt problems & its going to get much much worse

poppasmurf_bewdley

You're already in an emergency, so how much is in your 'emergency fund' which you are putting into at the rate of £100pm? That should stop now and put the money towards the debt. Get rid of the holidays will save you another £50pm.

The mobile phone bill should be cut by at least two thirds to about £30-£35pm maximum. Nobody needs to spend £100pm on a mobile phone. A GiffGaff £10pm sim gives 250 minutes and unlimited texts. One each for you and the girls comes to £30, and you'd get free calls to each other with GiffGaff.

Finally, at 17 and 19, why can't the two girls get part-time jobs to save you quite a lot of expense - hairdo's and travel to name but two. My daughter worked part time when she went to Uni, and so does by son's girlfriend at the moment.

Barbeduk

Hi, really sorry it all looks so bad at the moment. I am not trying to sound awful (as I am also a mum) but I do think that your 19 year old is big enough to be taking financial responsibility for herself. You shouldn't be paying for her phone etc.

Also, once you have everything straight in your head, you really must tell your new husband. It must be putting a terrible pressure on you keeping it to yourself. And like you say, if it's making you snappy, it's already affecting him.

I really hope you can get some debt counselling to help you sort this all out. Good luck!

rising_from_the_ashes

A few comments from me below which I hope may provide food for thought ...

cfc1963 wrote: »

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 980
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 980
Mobile phone............................ 100 Phone & see if you can reduce the tariffs
Groceries etc. ......................... 250 You should be able to get this down a bit (does it incl DH too?) Try the Grocery Challenge on the Old Style board
Clothing................................ 60 Sorry need to cut this - ebay old stuff and only buy new/2nd hand with the money raised
Petrol/diesel........................... 120
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 50
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Other travel............................ 180 What is this?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 25
Life assurance ......................... 25
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 25
Haircuts................................ 60 Sorry too much - try extra weeks between cuts, student nights etc
Holiday................................. 50 Sorry can't afford atm
Emergency fund.......................... 100 Need to get this up and running - suggest cutting to £50 and making sure it is actually put away somewhere
Total monthly expenses.................. 1145
Car(s).................................. 1500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1500

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
loan...........................7500......170.......14%loan...........................5000......120.......14%
credit card....................1900......25........0
Total unsecured debts..........14400.....315.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 980
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,145
Available for debt repayments........... -165
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 315
Amount short for making debt repayments. -480
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -14,400
Net Assets.............................. -12,900

Sorry but I agree with the others - your daughters are old enough to have p/t jobs and they should be funding their own mobiles, clothes & haircuts etc themselves.

May seem harsh - but it may be time for a "sit down & chat" and explain that their Dad has stopped paying maintenance and you can't afford to pay these things for them without this.

As for hiding things from your new DH, bite the bullet and come clean - it will be hard & I'm sure he'll be upset (often self-directed that they've not realised something's wrong) - marriage is about sharing ..... "for richer, for poorer" problems etc.

whizzing

I am not just being nosy but whose house are you living in? Have you lived there for a while with your daughters and did your new husband move in with you? Or have you and your daughters moved into his house? I think we should wait till we know your exact position before we give advice.

Niv

whizzing wrote: »

If your daughters live in the house with you and your new partner it will be his income that is taken into account. You need to speak to the student funding body ASAP. This will depend if you live in England or Scotland etc. They would be the best starting point for you to find out possible funding for both your girls at uni and college. find this out first.

Unless the rules have changed recently, this is not true. My step fathers income was not taken into account as he had not adopted me but I did live in teh same house as him. My mums income was the only income concidered.

Niv

whizzing

I am pretty sure it is the income of the household you live in that is taken into account. However it is easy to check the answer with whoever is assessing the loan.

cfc1963

thank you all for the advice - that's interesting re the fact that the step father hadnt adopted you - will get my daughter to check this out - but as far as I can understand the fact that we are living together means that both incomes are taken into account for student finance.

to answer another question - my husband bought this house off his ex-wife as part of their divorce settlement and finances were never discussed hence not mentioning my debt problem - I dont believe I am lying to him although I guess its guilty by association!!

my eldest daughter does work part time and my youngest has just started a very part time low paid job to see her through till september and college starting

I have sat them down today to explain that things will have to change financially and that I will no longer be paying for their mobile phones and that my eldest will no longer be driving my car free of charge - that she will have to start putting in petrol and helping with the running costs of it too.

The £100 a month is put to one side to cover the costs of anything going wrong with my car - however its not being saved as its going towards the food bill - I am putting it away each month but then digging into it a few days later - certainly before payday!

Niv

cfc1963 wrote: »

thank you all for the advice - that's interesting re the fact that the step father hadnt adopted you - will get my daughter to check this out - but as far as I can understand the fact that we are living together means that both incomes are taken into account for student finance.

!

Like I say, things may have changed. But my stepfathers income was definately not taken into account when I was assessed for grant, if it had been I would not have got one. I lived with my step dad and mum between tha ages of 3 and until I left for uni, so there is no doubt that we lived in the same home.

Anyway, worth finding out to be sure, free money is free money after all!

Niv