Patience and advice needed

Absolutely

Sorry, I haven't had time to search the boards to see if this scenario has already been covered.

I am the resident parent with 3 children (2 disabled it that makes any difference). I divorced my ex 4 years ago. He was paying £150 per week. Now he has said he is withdrawing that payment.

Where do I go from here? CSA? They were not involved in the first place. But obviously I need some money.

I'll leave it at that for now. Any questions welcome.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

Absolutely wrote: »

Sorry, I haven't had time to search the boards to see if this scenario has already been covered.

I am the resident parent with 3 children (2 disabled it that makes any difference). I divorced my ex 4 years ago. He was paying £150 per week. Now he has said he is withdrawing that payment.

Where do I go from here? CSA? They were not involved in the first place. But obviously I need some money.

I'll leave it at that for now. Any questions welcome.

You can contact the CSA and put an application in at any point.
Does your ex have any other children? Also, do the three children stay overnight with your ex? If so there will be a reduction in the amount that he has to pay. As a general rule of thumb, he will be liable to pay 25% of his net take-home pay (assuming no overnight care and no other children).

It could be worth saying to him that if he's not willing to contribute anything then you will be applying to the CSA.

Has he said why he's not paying any more? Have his circumstances changed, he may have lost his job perhaps..?

Absolutely

PreludeForTimeFeelers wrote: »

You can contact the CSA and put an application in at any point.
Does your ex have any other children? Also, do the three children stay overnight with your ex? If so there will be a reduction in the amount that he has to pay. As a general rule of thumb, he will be liable to pay 25% of his net take-home pay (assuming no overnight care and no other children).

It could be worth saying to him that if he's not willing to contribute anything then you will be applying to the CSA.

Has he said why he's not paying any more? Have his circumstances changed, he may have lost his job perhaps..?

Thank you for your reply. To answer a few points.
- my ex has no other children
- our children never stay overnight with him
- he hasn't lost his job

He said he isn't paying anymore as I am denying him access to the children. This is untrue. He has severe mental health issues which have required him to be hospitalised several times over the last 2 years.

What he believes is true and what are actually happening are two seperate things.

It's just come to a head today. I knew it would reach this point, it was just a matter of when really.

Without going into too much detail, his declared income isn't his actual income if you see what I mean.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

Absolutely wrote: »

It's just come to a head today. I knew it would reach this point, it was just a matter of when really.

Without going into too much detail, his declared income isn't his actual income if you see what I mean.

That may be an issue. Is he employed, or self-employed? If he is employed then the CSA will ask him to produce payslips, or will ask his employer for this information. If he's self-employed then they'll ask him to send in his last tax return.

If there is income that isn't declared then things can get a bit messier.

Absolutely

PreludeForTimeFeelers wrote: »

That may be an issue. Is he employed, or self-employed? If he is employed then the CSA will ask him to produce payslips, or will ask his employer for this information. If he's self-employed then they'll ask him to send in his last tax return.

If there is income that isn't declared then things can get a bit messier.

He is employed. He is a director of a small business run by his father.

His employer is his father, who is rather rich. So he draws a wage under his name and splits it between the two sons in the family business.

Absolutely

Oh, and he has never had a payslip in his life. Just a P60 which reflected what he was paid (not what his father gave him though).

PreludeForTimeFeelers

If you do choose to go down the CSA route, then you might have to accept that the payments are less than the £150 per week that was paid previously. You'll have to make sure that you notify the CSA that he is a director, as this means the case will be handled by a different team as it is deemed a 'complex case'. They would assess based on his wage, but also need to know if he received any other income, ie dividends.

His dad would be breaking the law if he didn't tell the CSA how much he paid his son.

shegirl

Having disabled children also means you can go to the courts for a maintenance top-up due to extra needs and associated costs.(this is paid on top of maintenance set via the CSA)

Being a director employed and paid by his father could make your CSA case complicated,I believe there have been a few questions and cases similar mentioned on this board.

Absolutely

Thank you both so much.

I am losing sleep over this (obviously).

I knew it would be complicated going down the CSA route, that is why I always wanted to remain on 'good' terms with my ex, but his mental health issues have muddied the waters a bit.

The fact I may get less than £150 a week is ok. Even if it's dropped to a fiver, something is better than nothing.

I know for a fact he won't want to involve his father in any financial disclosure issues, so he'll have a very hard time of it. But I'm the one here with 3 kids, day in, day out. And one child has cancer and the ex has never attended an appointment in the past 2 years. In fact, he's never even texted me to ask how his son is!

And now he wants to stop the money.

What a charming man. But that is emotion talking. The facts are we have children. He should pay. Thank you for your advice.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

Absolutely wrote: »

Thank you both so much.

I am losing sleep over this (obviously).

I knew it would be complicated going down the CSA route, that is why I always wanted to remain on 'good' terms with my ex, but his mental health issues have muddied the waters a bit.

The fact I may get less than £150 a week is ok. Even if it's dropped to a fiver, something is better than nothing.

I know for a fact he won't want to involve his father in any financial disclosure issues, so he'll have a very hard time of it. But I'm the one here with 3 kids, day in, day out. And one child has cancer and the ex has never attended an appointment in the past 2 years. In fact, he's never even texted me to ask how his son is!

And now he wants to stop the money.

What a charming man. But that is emotion talking. The facts are we have children. He should pay. Thank you for your advice.

In that case give them a call on Tuesday morning and start the ball rolling. They'll call your ex to make him aware of the case, and once they've been in touch with him, the 'effective date' of your case will have been set - this is the date that payments begin from, even if it takes them a couple of months to get the assessment in place.

eskimo26

Absolutely wrote: »

Thank you both so much.

I am losing sleep over this (obviously).

I knew it would be complicated going down the CSA route, that is why I always wanted to remain on 'good' terms with my ex, but his mental health issues have muddied the waters a bit.

The fact I may get less than £150 a week is ok. Even if it's dropped to a fiver, something is better than nothing.

I know for a fact he won't want to involve his father in any financial disclosure issues, so he'll have a very hard time of it. But I'm the one here with 3 kids, day in, day out. And one child has cancer and the ex has never attended an appointment in the past 2 years. In fact, he's never even texted me to ask how his son is!

And now he wants to stop the money.

What a charming man. But that is emotion talking. The facts are we have children. He should pay. Thank you for your advice.

Why not approach the father and get straight to the point, is he aware of his sons mental health issues and how this may occur? Or would he be of the opinion you are withholding access?

Approach him and tell him payments have stopped and why, then tell him if it's not sorted he should let his son know next stop is the CSA but you'd rather avoid it. Maybe he can reach his son.