Should Thelma lend Louise money?

13

Comments

  • bodeia
    bodeia Posts: 33 Forumite
    I would only lend a friend that amount of money if I have a written agreement in place as to repayment of loan even if it was ony a £5 a week.

    If you didn't then fell on hard times yourself what would you do if your "friend" lied about you lending her the money. It can happen.

    I've lent friends and family money in the past and then have them deny they owe me anything and even thoug it was "only" £10 at the time I could little afford the loss and I also learnt a hard lesson my so called friends and family have refused to help me when I needed it. I now never ask, one as I have no need to and two I wouldn't embarrass myself like that again I'd rather go without.

    I would and still do occassionally lend money but I am very wary.
  • NatFeerick
    NatFeerick Posts: 85 Forumite
    I loaned my boyfriend £2500. I felt at the time I would probably never get it back but 'officially' it is still an outstanding loan as I believe it would do him good to have to budget to make the repayments - might help him start getting his finances in order. But if he never repays me I can afford to write it off - in my mind I already have. I only get annoyed when I see him splashing out on stuff he can't afford when he is making no attempt to repay me because he says he can't afford it. So my advice is the same as for gambling....never commit more than you can afford to lose.
    :money: Dedicated disciple of MoneySavingExpert.com and Savvy MoneySaver :A
    Mortgage Free ahead of schedule November 2008! :T

    Calvin (to Hobbes) - "Sometimes the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere is that none of it has tried to contact us."
  • Seakay
    Seakay Posts: 4,265 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    As NatFeerick has pointed out, it doesn't matter if the lender does write the loan off as a gift, it is next to impossible not to notice spendthrift behaviours thereafter.
    Where has this figure of £10,000 come from? If it is to cover specific debts then it is a suspiciously round figure!
    Even if Thelma can afford to lose this amount of money, the act of loaning or giving it will change the relationship for ever; it is possible that refusing will as well. I think that Thelma should consider her actions taking into account that Louise is willing to risk a lifetime's friendship in order to get her hands on £10,000. Presumably she cannot borrow anywhere else because she doesn't pay her debts.
    My sister lent an amount to an old friend, explaining that she could afford to now but would need it within a year at most or it would cause her severe financial hardship. At the loanee's insistence an elaborate repayment scheme was set up and many assurances made. She has never received a penny and did undergo hardship the following year (which was when we all found out because we had to help her out). She has lost friends also cannot contact her young godson whom she was helping with his reading difficulties. This is entirely down to the loanees.
    Basically, I would say; do an act of charity if you want but realise that you will be giving up more than cash.
  • TheFaqqer
    TheFaqqer Posts: 96 Forumite
    A friend of mine was in exactly the same position last year - his mate was about to lose his business, with bailiffs knocking on the door asking for £10000. He lent him the money, which he lost - he was expecting it to happen, could afford it, and isn't bitter about it. His mate knows that he's run out of chances now though, so doesn't come asking for more money all the time.

    This might be exactly what Louise needs as a wake-up call.
  • sluggy1967
    sluggy1967 Posts: 190 Forumite
    Lending a friend money when they are going through a rough period - fine, that's what friends are for, but lending money to a friend who is terrible with money is a sure fire way to ruin a friendship.
  • dixiechic
    dixiechic Posts: 9 Forumite
    I personally would lend the money but only if

    a) a repayment plan is in place, however small;

    b) the friend promises to get financial advice from somewhere like the CAB, and I would go with her to make sure of this and so someone else is there to take notice of what is being said; and this would make sure that she fulfilled her second to last part of the bargain:

    c) an absolute promise to take better care of finances in the form of something like a home accountancy program to ensure that she NEVER got this far into deblt again and last but not least:

    d) she signed up to this website!

    HI, I really agree with you, there is little point in lending or giving money if the same situation is going to occur again. By just giving a 'handout' it is not empowering the other person. One major thing I have learnt from MSE is taking back control over one's finances from those companies, financial institutions and ad-men who manipulate and disempower us.
  • kikibee_2
    kikibee_2 Posts: 15 Forumite
    I am sorry but I don't think that Thelma should lend her the money. If they have both been friends for a long time then one wuld presume that they share similar backgrounds and Thelma has been wise with her money whilst Louise has been a spend thrift. I think it is unfair of Louise to put Thelma in that position as she does not think much of their friendship to ask such a favour. It would do her good to learn about money by starting from scratch and appreciating everything and not wasting her money.
    :happylove Kikibee :happyhear
  • Kenarf
    Kenarf Posts: 11 Forumite
    Seeing as the original Thelma & Louise went over a cliff together, the outcome for this affair does not seem propitious.....

    Perhaps Thelma could 'buy' a share of the mortgage and become a joint owner of the property. Louise could always buy it back when (if) she sorted herself out.
  • mtp_2
    mtp_2 Posts: 6 Forumite
    I think she should give her the money with conditions., see below. I do not think a good idea to lend as this could lead to the end of the friendship.

    She could also buy her the MSE Book!! Importantly I think she should insist she approaches the CAB and go with her for debt advice/counselling. Sit down and work out where her problems lie and make it very clear this is a one off gift no ifs or ands and buts.
  • juliaw
    juliaw Posts: 50 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Thelma should either say No or give the money to Louise. She will never get it back.

    Sounds like the end of the friendship whatever she does. Louise should not have asked for the loan.
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