NCT AnteNatal Classes

brazilianwax

Gillyx wrote: »

That part could really upset a lot of people on here. I know you're not implying that women who breast feed aren't good mums, but it could come across as that, a few weeks ago that statement would have reduced me to tears.

I agree entirely. It's comments like that that make mums feel they're being pitted against each other. :mad:


We did the NCT classes - albeit at a point where I really didn't want to know anything about how baby was going to come out! (I was about 6 months gone). The first baby arrived 2 days after the last class - it was another 2.5 months before mine arrived! Am still really good friends with everyone in the group. We have very different backgrounds and approaches, but meet up with the kiddies regularly and we have ladies night once a month. It was well worth the money not to go through the viewing of the apparatus etc!

I wanted a homebirth before even thinking about going to the classes - and had my inflatable hot tub set up in the garden in readiness. Unfortunately baby had other ideas and I ended up 2 weeks overdue, in hospital being induced. That didn't go well (I'd been in slow labour for 4 days and not slept). They made me push for 2.5 hours. I ended up with a spinal, in theatre, with a pretty brutal forceps delivery (LO has dimples in her face where they dented her skull ).

That was 18 months ago (19 tomorrow - eek) and while I swore at the time that I'd never forgive the midwives/hospital for lying to me about being in labour, making me push for so long, freaking me out about a potential c-section with probable complications for LO, having no vegetarian food available at hospital, making me move wards at 1am post-partum, and then forgetting to discharge me until 8pm the next night (!!!!), I'm at peace with it now. I just tell myself it's what they had to do to get her out. It wasn't my fault.

As for breastfeeding, I did intend to, but there were some practical hurdles that couldn't be beaten. So I expressed for 7 months. I never intended to, I just took it week by week. I did have some other mums comment about giving Izzy a bottle, but a short "it's breastmilk, sue me" soon shut them up. Looking back it was a hell of a commitment and a lot of work. I got mastitis regularly. I couldn't miss a session, not even on an 8 hour plane trip, or on car journeys, or even when in town shopping or meeting friends. I drew the line at expressing at my hubby's grandmother's funeral, so that's when I stopped. On the upside, my nan bonding with Izzy while giving her a bottle at 4 days old was priceless.

There's not really a lot of support for EEers.

It certainly doesn't seem to have harmed my little monkey!

JimmyTheWig

Back to the OP, for our first baby (8 years ago) we did the (free) NHS classes and my wife joined the local NCT "bumps and babes" group, which was also free (token donation towards coffee and biscuits, possibly).

Didn't stay in touch with anyone from the antenatal classes (I guess there was opportunity to make friends, but we didn't) but stayed in contact with some of the bumps and babes group, one of whom my wife is still friendly with now.

With number 2 we did a NHS "refresher for parents who already have children" class. All 6 mums in the group kept in touch for about a year afterwards.

With number 3 we did a similar refresher class, but didn't keep in touch.

With number 4 we had enough on our plate to go to any classes!!


I guess my point is it probably depends more on the people who happen to be in the class than the organisation who is running the class. So even though we are quite strong NCT supporters I'd say go for the free activities where possible.

JimmyTheWig

Gillyx wrote: »

That part could really upset a lot of people on here.

I think they meant that there's more to being a good mum than just breastfeeding. I.e. there can be "bad" mums who breastfeed and "good" mums who bottlefeed.

beccad

I'm currently doing NCT classes (baby due end of June) and really enjoying them. I've not experienced any of the hippy-dippy you must have a natural birth stuff. First class was about the physiological process of childbirth and what can help/hinder the process, second class was pain relief (pros and cons), third class was about c-sections and what to expect. Last time we did some post-natal stuff about how to change nappies, bath baby etc. In amongst all that we've done some other exercises about how life will change, how my relationship with my husband might change, conflict resolution, post-natal depression in mums and dads.

I guess a lot of your experience might depend on the teacher's point of view on all these things. We seem to have a good one - I get the impression she's more pro the natural side of things, but she's quite happy to answer questions about all sorts of things with no obvious bias.

To be fair, very little of the content I couldn't have gleaned from books or online, but that wasn't why I joined. I wanted to meet people as we're relatively new to the area, and it'll be good to know some local people for maternity leave etc. I could have met people at baby groups etc., but as a naturally shy person (although I do try not to be!) walking into a room full of people I don't know fills me with horror!

Everyone in my class is very, very normal. I live in the cheap seats of quite a well-to-do area in Surrey so was concerned the class would be made up of pampered yummy-mummies in waiting, but it's really nothing like that.

For my husband and I it's definitely been worth it but I can see it's not for everyone.

SqueekyMouse

jackyann wrote: »

and remember that breast feeding is just part of being a good mum. Good luck!

I didn't read it as a judgmental/hurtful comment, but I can understand how someone might take it that way. Ah the problems of written communication where people can't hear the inflections you would use in speech!!

I would not like to put works in her mouth, but I think Jackann may have meant that "breastfeeding is only a small part of being a good mum in the huge scheme of things and not being able to does not make you a bad mum"

jackyann

Gillyx wrote: »

That part could really upset a lot of people on here. I know you're not implying that women who breast feed aren't good mums, but it could come across as that, a few weeks ago that statement would have reduced me to tears.

Gosh, yes, I can see that when I re-read. Thank you for seeing what I meant. Just shows how emotive this issue can be. I have had help on this forum, and try to post on things I do know about to be helpful, not be a hindrance! I hope others took it in the spirit in which it was intended (I want to add that I am retired, and have maybe been less careful than I was)

SqueekyMouse

AMC1979 wrote: »

Have to say am a bit apprehensive about the whole breastfeeding thing. The midwife gave me a booklet at my last appointment last week (was at 29 weeks) on breastfeeding and said that I would 'be asked questions' on it next time (?!) I opened it up later and there were many close ups of breasts and nipples etc. No mention in the booklet anywhere of 'what if you don't want to breastfeed' or bottle feeding, etc. I don't think it's going to go down very well if I express my resistance to it to the midwife/when I'm in the hospital after labour. But I really am not that keen. I would certainly consider expressing milk but I don't want to breastfeed. Is that really so controversial?

For something that is supposed to be a completely natural thing, I have to say that I felt a bit squeamish about breastfeeding too - strange isn't it?

The first time I encountered breast feeding was when I was 22/23 ish and a friend at work brought her baby in one day and fed him. I felt a mixture of "eww gross" and strange fascination - it was akin to rubber necking on the motorway!!!
I don't think I'd considered how babies were fed before then!

During my pregnancy I decided I wanted to BF for all the well known benefits/reasons, but I remember when my LO was handed to me, I felt embarressed to BF because I didn't know what I was doing and the midwives would judge me for not having a clue! I also remember asking permission to BF my daughter just after she was born, which I find really bizzare now looking back.

It does take time to become comfortable with the idea of BF (esp in our society) but I'm glad to say that I did because at heart I'm a bit lazy and its extremely convenient! The main thing is though, however you choose to feed will be right for your baby because he/she will have a happy mum

AMC1979

mildred1978 wrote: »

It is, unfortunately.

The NHS aren't allowed to promote bottle feeding. At the end of the day, formula isn't poison but breast is best for baby - especially in the very early days - so it makes sense that they promote it.

I only attempted expressing a handful of times, and stuck to standard breastfeeding for just over a year (once we got the hang of it it was extremely easy, but it did take about 6 weeks to properly establish). I do know of women that have expressed milk (it's called "exclusive expressing") and take my hat off to any woman who manages that. You have to be rigorous about expressing every 3-4 hours, day and night, as well as the hassle of sterilising bottles and warming milk in the middle of the night for feeds, carrying expressing kit with you etc. It seems to be much harder than just breastfeeding (if you're physically able to).

I don't get why women can't get their heads around boobs and nipples and breastfeeding - that's what they are for!!!

Well, I can't get my head around it I'm afraid, but then I've never been a fan of having boobs generally. I'd love very small ones but unfortunately have been 'blessed' with bigger ones that have gone up 2 to 3 sizes so far since pregnancy. Not everyone loves the idea of breastfeeding, and it worries and stresses me out quite a lot because I wish I did feel 'normal' about it, but I don't, and I can't see me changing my mind. I am actually quite repulsed by the idea if I'm to be 100% honest - I can't help feeling that way.

Thanks to everyone for all your thoughts and advice anyway. To get back on topic, I start my NHS antenatal classes in a couple of weeks and I hope that they won't completely force the breastfeeding issue, but I suppose I must be prepared for it. I would like them to mention bottle feeding too. But at the end of the day no one can force me to do something I don't want to. I am hoping the classes will be useful and everyone will be friendly. I'll let you know in 2 weeks how it goes!

mildred1978

AMC1979 wrote: »

Well, I can't get my head around it I'm afraid, but then I've never been a fan of having boobs generally. I'd love very small ones but unfortunately have been 'blessed' with bigger ones that have gone up 2 to 3 sizes so far since pregnancy. Not everyone loves the idea of breastfeeding, and it worries and stresses me out quite a lot because I wish I did feel 'normal' about it, but I don't, and I can't see me changing my mind. I am actually quite repulsed by the idea if I'm to be 100% honest - I can't help feeling that way.

!

I was a G cup before pregnancy and am now a J/K!!

And no matter how much weight I lose, they aren't shrinking!!

Eta, don't expect anyone to cover how to bottle feed until you've had the baby.

Gillyx

AMC1979 wrote: »

Well, I can't get my head around it I'm afraid, but then I've never been a fan of having boobs generally. I'd love very small ones but unfortunately have been 'blessed' with bigger ones that have gone up 2 to 3 sizes so far since pregnancy. Not everyone loves the idea of breastfeeding, and it worries and stresses me out quite a lot because I wish I did feel 'normal' about it, but I don't, and I can't see me changing my mind. I am actually quite repulsed by the idea if I'm to be 100% honest - I can't help feeling that way.

Thanks to everyone for all your thoughts and advice anyway. To get back on topic, I start my NHS antenatal classes in a couple of weeks and I hope that they won't completely force the breastfeeding issue, but I suppose I must be prepared for it. I would like them to mention bottle feeding too. But at the end of the day no one can force me to do something I don't want to. I am hoping the classes will be useful and everyone will be friendly. I'll let you know in 2 weeks how it goes!

Try not to worry, my hospital weren't in your face about it. In fact I was adamant I didn't want my son to have formula, and my son was so sleepy from the birth so wouldn't latch on and they forced formula on me. Well didn't force but basically scared me witless with all the things that would happen to him if he didn't get it.

Most of the women on my ward bottle fed and they were given the milk freely x