Domestic violence advise

BugglyB

There are certain practical things your friend can do to help. The focus should not be on leaving but on staying safe. Agree that it might be the case that he gets angry again, and if he does there is a code word they can use on the phone or by text where mum will come and pick her up if she is scared. That mum will keep aside some money and a spare set of keys to daughters house. That mum promises not to hit the roof and not to tell daughter what to do.

The problem is this all needs to be done in a way that doesn't judge, and actually gets through! So conversation needs to go:

'But mum he's not a bad person'

'I know that and I know you have conflicting emotions about what happened. I do know sometimes he has a problem controlling his temper and last time you got hurt, so I'd just like to do these things to safeguard you in the future'

instead of

'Not a bad person!? He put you in the bloody hospital! He's a waste of bloody space! He wants locking up!' which is of course the natural response!