Lies on court statement for child access

grass_is_greener

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Penny-Pincher!!

Have CAFCASS done all their checks on everyone and interviewed the daughter yet?

Whats in dispute? Is there no access at all?

PP
xx

rhianna99

Do you both have solicitors? because having just been through this myself, my solicitor helped me prepare my statement, and although she had already received my ex's statement from his solicitor would not read it until after she had prepared mine. My solicitor said that the court does not want your statement to in any way answer the other person's statement and that they should be very careful not to do this.

As for putting things in which arent relevant, I was surprised what was included in mine, a lot of background info goes into them, which may not be entirely relevant but the solicitor may still put it in. in the end our statements were not needed because my ex withdrew his application because he "couldn't be bothered to keep coming to court"

The Judge will have seen it all before and will not just accept either side's version of events, so I would try not to worry, easier said then done I know.

rhianna99

And yes, if you can dis-prove some of the lies, it will show that she is capable of lying to a court and they may not be so believing of the rest of her story.

rhianna99

If you already have some access in place, then this should make things easier, I think asking for half of holidays is reasonable, and the mother would need to have a good reason as to why this shouldn't happen. CAFFCAS should talk to the child and ask her views and they will take these into account. As for the travelling, does the mother drive? because if she doesn't this could cause a problem if you want her to share the travelling. From my own experience at court (I live 2 hrs away from my ex) the Judge made it very clear when my ex asked for half of the petrol money that it is his responsibility to collect and return the child and the Judge would not consider making an order for me to either do the travelling or pay half the costs. I think as your partner has been collecting and returning his daughter for 8 years, the Judge may feel this should continue, especially if mother doesn't drive.

I think I read somewhere that your partner could get a reduction in the amount of child maintenance for travelling costs, but I seem to remember this would not be very much, still worth trying though.

daska

Yes he can, but he might need to ring a few to find one. The obvious thing to point out is that the CAFCASS report will show her up to be a liar on the issue about the police which, in turn, will call into question the rest of her statement. IIRC you can submit supporting evidence before any hearing such as confirmation from the CSA that contact was taking place etc. but I'm not totally clear on that - what I do know is that the judge can refuse to accept evidence on the day. With a proviso - we completely turned round a hearing by sharing evidence with DSD's mum's barrister during a recess. He immediately realised the implications and the tide turned from him demanding that DSD be returned to concentrating on agreeing contact. Without the Judge being aware of why.

RAS

Have you spoken to Families need Fathers? Checked out whether they have a MacKenzie friend in the area?

Could your OH do some of the journey by train - you must be talking West Country to Scotland with that journey time?

pinkclouds

As the daughter is 10 years old, you may be better served by getting her on side rather than the mother. Is there any means of strengthening the relationship, given your current location and circumstances?

I am sure the lack of contact is extremely painful but, as it may have been 8 years since the girl last lived with her father bar the occasional visit, you and your husband may be less familiar to her than you'd hope. By now, *she* may not want to stay with you. You may have become like the (hypothetical) aunt she lived with as a toddler, who sends xmas and birthday parcels but is otherwise unseen, decreeing that she must pay lengthy residential visits - hundreds of miles away from her mom.

The mother may be willing to disregard you, your husband and your lawyers but she is surely less likely to ignore a heartfelt request from her own child. She is still a minor but she is also old enough to know what she wants and to make both herself and everyone else miserable if she is unhappy. Does she want to see her dad more often? Does she want to pay longer visits? Frankly, nothing applies more pressure than a guilt trip from your own child.

Btw, why do you refer to her as the birth mother? (Assuming that is what BM means.) Is there a third mother in the offing?

savageHK

grass_is_greener wrote: »

She has told OH that whatever court decides, she will not comply with it anyway and they cannot do anything about it.

I believe she can be found in contempt of court, I'm not sure what the sanctions are though.

System

I don't know anything about this sort of situation, but just wanted to give you and your OH my sympathy. It sounds like a horrible place to be in, and I really can't understand people who seem to care more about themselves than their children. The only thing I can think of that hasn't been mentioned here is that you could maybe gather as much evidence of BM's manipulation as you can (record your phone calls, keep text messages etc.) - I'm sure someone more knowledgeable than me will be able to tell you whether this sort of thing would be admissable in the hearing or not.

Also, please don't say that you'll give in and resign yourself to not seeing her! I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you both, but you have to keep fighting for her, and (if you can) letting her know that you are. You and OH need to find every opportunity you can to let SD know how wanted she is, because it's just awful for a little kid to grow up thinking they're unwanted. I know that's not your doing, but please try and do everything you can to fight back! It sounds like you are already, so this isn't meant as a dig at all - just hoping to provide some support.

daska

IIRC in theory the sanction is that she can be fined or sent to prison - no idea if that's likely to happen though and you'd have to take it to court to find out. My experience is that they seem pretty toothless when it comes to compliance but that is supposed to be changing.

Your solicitor can brief a barrister to attend the court with you or on your behalf. Some of them are very good indeed, we used to cringe when we saw one that DSD's mum used regularly because he was a real rottweiler. Or you can investigate using a McKenzie friend as suggested earlier, they can't speak on your behalf but you can confer and they can help find the correct paperwork etc.

If you ring the court the clerks will help you work out what you can/ can't/ need to do. That's probably the first thing on the list, to ask how you can submit evidence to support your statement and how you go about requesting that the mother undertake some of the travel etc. Usually it's the non-resident parent who does the slog but we got lumbered with doing it by the first judge we had. One of the contact orders also specified that DSD be provided with a mobile phone which was charged and available for her use between set times of day. That might be something to consider.