I need some advice

haggisneepsandtatties

thanks guys - I suppose I already knew what you would say, just needed to hear it!

tea_lover

I think the advice is going to be pretty unanimous (for once!) on this one.

What your OH and his friend has done is at best misguided and disrespectful (if he's a named cardholder) or theft/fraud (if he's not named on the CC account).

Personally I'd be speaking to the police. Oh, and kicking him out of course.

Spendless

Dunroamin wrote: »

Fortunately he doesn't seem to be her husband.

Does that matter if he is a 2nd name holder on the card? The OP doesn't say that if he is or isn't - unless I've missed it. Assumming a live in partner can be a 2nd holder and have his own card on the account (like Mr S does on mine) then if he chooses to buy £4k for his friend, then it wouldn't be fraud. If the OP's partner and friend have taken a cc that is solely in the OPs name, then that would be.

daska

I thought maintenance was based on the absent parent's income, not on their partner/spouse? If it's a private agreement you can stop paying it (rough on the mum but it's HIS responsibility), if it's through the CSA he need to get in touch with them for a reassessment but again stop paying it out of your money, if it's a court order then he needs to take it back to court - he can get it amended if his income has dropped.

And I suggest you chuck his things in the front garden during the next rainstorm.

jackyann

You have a lot of good advice here. Can I add that if you feel wobbly about following a firm line, then contact your local Women's Aid group. You have been abused (that abuse of trust applies whether he was named on the credit card or not). They will support you and give you good advice.

Dunroamin

Spendless wrote: »

Does that matter if he is a 2nd name holder on the card? The OP doesn't say that if he is or isn't - unless I've missed it. .

It would be relevant in any legal proceedings and the OP states "partner", not "husband".

Spendless

Dunroamin wrote: »

It would be relevant in any legal proceedings and the OP states "partner", not "husband".

Yes, I realise she said partner not husband I was meaning she doesn't state if her OH is a 2nd card holder or not.