I need some advice

haggisneepsandtatties

This might take a while, so bear with me. My partner moved in last year and everything has been great - up until now. I have two teenage children and my partner has a child who we pay maintenance for. My partner said he was too ill to work, and does have a diagnosis of mild M.E and P.T.S.D, but that was ok as I worked full time and could support us all. Last year, I decided to go back to university full time, and I took out a credit union loan to pay off the credit card bill of £4000 so that we could afford for me to give up my job. Initially, this went well, unitl February, when I opened the credit card statement to find out that we owed another £4000. I did not know what had happened, until I discovered that my partner had let a friend of his, (who owns a shoe shop) buy loads of stock and put it on the credit card! This had happened before Christmas and no one had told me. My partners 'friend' had not been making regular payments and the interest and fees had been going through the roof. Understandably, I was not impressed and made my feelings known to both of them. When I asked my partner why he did not tell me, he just shrugged. My partners friend has not told his wife what he has done and this has made things awkward between his wife and I as we are friends. Since March, this friend has paid £300 off a bill of nearly £4000. Once you take off the interest and charges, the actual bill has gone down by about £140. To make matters worse, my student loan has now finished and we cannot claim E.S.A as my partner is working in his friends shop - but he is getting paid in either beer or goods! He says he cant get a job as he is ill, but here he is, working in a shoe shop and getting beer for it. Meanwhile, I am skipping meals, not sleeping at night, teary and depressed. He is wonderful with my children and until this happened, we were a really happy family. The children do not know what has happened. I would really appreciate some advice, as I am getting desperate.

Caroline_a

Sorry, but this to me looks like theft under a different name. I would tell all concerned that unless this card is paid back in full, including charges by, say, the end of July that you will go to the police.

Time for your partner and his mate to sell some of their stuff, for the partner to pay you direct, rather than putting beer down your OH, and if he can work in a shoe shop then he can work somewhere else and get proper money for it. Alternatively he moves out....

kj*daisy

I think you may have to go to the police for the fraud or you will be liable for the whole lot. I'm sorry your partner has done this to you and to sya this , but you do not do things like this to people you love.

duchy

So he's great with the kids but has put you in a situation where you are not eating or sleeping and constantly tearful. You are their Mum -they need you first and foremost to keep them happy-he's only an added benefit to them-and just because they like him isn't a reason to allow him to leach off you.

Either he's fit for work and can go out earn and contribute money -or he isn't. If he can "work" for mateyboy for beer then he's fit for work .

As for "just shrugging" about the credit card .......You seriously left it there ???? It sounds like this business is in real trouble-borrowing to buy stock, paying staff in beer . I think you need to tell both man AND his wife that this money needs paying pronto or you will be going to the police -but I wouldn't rely on getting it back. They sound like they are on the verge of going broke.

As for your boyfriend-man up, get a proper job or ship out-Working for beer isn't acceptable -either he's an adult in the family and contributes ....or he's a child dependent on you (and you really don't need another one).

Sorry but this is a mess and it needs sorting -In all honesty the creditcard would have been my wake up call -I know it's hard but something has to change -things can't continue as they are.

Dunroamin

Your "partner" is a conman and his friend is a crook. Report them to the police and relevant authorities, put his stuff out on the doorstep and be thankful that you found this out so quickly and before making a bigger commitment.

Oh, and stop the credit card.

ETA

I see you say that "we" pay maintenance for his child-as he has no income, that'll be you who's paying. He really is a wrong 'un, get rid!

CH27

Put a stop to the card & report them both to the police.

go_cat

Another vote for police he has taken advantage of your good nature and used your card without your permission this is fraud

Oh and kick him out while you are at it

Cyril

Show him the door.

G51shopaholic

Sorry to say I agree with everyone else

IT'S TIME U WOKE UP AND KICKED HIM TO THE KERB!!

The goods were ordered on YOUR credit card - who was at home to sign for the delivery???? As that's where they would have been delivered to.

How many credit card statements have been hidden from you?

If you hadn't opened this statement would you every have found out about the charges?

Is it too late to return the stock or are they selling well and if so were's your money to pay back the credit card?

You need to tackle this guy & his wife - she needs to know - and get your life back in order.

Good luck

Spendless

Is the card in your sole name or is your husband a 2nd card holder on the account?

Dunroamin

Spendless wrote: »

Is the card in your sole name or is your husband a 2nd card holder on the account?

Fortunately he doesn't seem to be her husband.