Sons debt

spire1

Hi
Would love some advice off anyone.My son has got himself into terrible debt.He took out a same day loan,well not one but several loans ,some time ago.Not sure how long ago he took them out but debt agencies are involved now though non payment.I only found out by accident about all this as he has tried to hid this from my wife and me.We are at our wits end as the debt agencies are threating to come round to our house.He,s been back living at home for 10 months as he spilt up with is girlfriend because of his spending .He,s working but does not earn alot.(£175 a week).
We have found out that nearly all his wages goes on paying his debt,but it does not make a dint in them.He is ashamed of himself,that is why he has been trying to pay them back,We think he owes about £3000 maybe more.Im sorry if this thread is abit vague but we have only just found out and not got everything out of him yet.He,s been a stupid lad and would be easy to kick him out,but he,s our son and the debts not going to go away.Do we pay them off or do we leave him to sort it out .Also can the debt collectors force there way into my house and take anything to the value of what he owes.Many thanks in advance for any advice.
Regards concerned father.

simon2010

The debts are Unsecure and in your sons name then you are ok and they cannot force there way into your home.

If the debts have CCJ's attached (county court judgements) and he hasnt been paying them then this could be a different story.

simon2010

If you are in a position to help him I would.

But then sit down quietly and explain why you have helped him then
- never help him again. Make this very clear, he could do the same again and expect you to bail him out again.
- Encourage him to save 10-15% of everything he earns
- Set up savings book for him that you keep and monitor for 6 months. Then give him the book at then end of the six months and hopefully he will see then benefits of saving
- find out why he is in the debt in the first place. Likely that he's a nice guy who is always first at the bar. Or maybe a little gambling. Let him tell you........

simon2010

Also, if you understand credit files, try and educate him.

It is in YOUR interest to help protect his credit file, if he starts defaulting it will only cause him years of misery!!!!!

Apples2

We learn through our mistakes. If you help him out financially now, he will not learn a jot.
Do you have a spare 3k you don't need anyway?

Help him dig himself out if it, switching banks, arranging payment plans. The whole shamoly, he will learn the magnitude if his errant ways quickly enough.

If.you pay it. Things will be a whole lot worse next time

ARTooD2

Have to say apples that my parents helped me out of a similar bind a number of years ago. I learned my lesson and have never missed a payment since. All defaults etc. have finally dropped off this year so I disagree that it would definitely happen again. But then again, they made it perfectly clear this would be it and if it happened again i'd be on my own.

AGR999

I think you have to guide and educate him when it comes to this matter that really requires adult's knowledge. Don't help him financially, just let him exert all his efforts so he will learn his lesson. But, still as his parent, be there when he desperately needs help..

geoffky

He needs to learn a hard lesson and bailing him out will help no one..As he is a adult he has to learn there are consequences for his actions and however hard it is for you to watch from the sidelines that is what i would do..
The breakup in his relationship has still not shocked him into action so you must not bail him out..

geoffky

simon2010 wrote: »

Also, if you understand credit files, try and educate him.

It is in YOUR interest to help protect his credit file, if he starts defaulting it will only cause him years of misery!!!!!

bottle feed him? responsibility is lacking in this post:cool:

plum44_2

Nooooooo- he will never learn if you parachute in every time he gets into difficulty.

Once he can't borrow any more he will soon realise how much trouble he is in. Help from the sidelines, but let him sort out the mess he's got himself into.

JimmyTheWig

I'd agree with the "help this time but make sure he realises it's a one-time-only help" suggestions.
If you can afford it, that is.

Make him pay you back, on time, every time he gets paid. Ideally, keep the same repayments he has now (amount and frequency) just don't charge interest. That way he'll still be repaying what he borrowed (and considerably more, presumably, even by this point) but will be able to do it.