Sons debt

Foxy-Stoat_3

He needs to tell you exactly what he owes, if you THINK he owes £3k then I'd wager he owes closer to £10k. Get a print out of his credit file from Experian or similar, this will show up ALL his credit agreements.

Point you need to get across is, if the min payments equal his earnings then its IVA/BR/DM time. Unless he has bought expensive cars or stuff that he can sell to part clear the debt back to a manageable level.

If he takes home £700 and nearly all of that goes on min payments then your looking at £10k at least, 5 % (min payment) of £10k is £500 a month. Interest will be that for sure.

If you bail him out now, he wont of learned anything and will be back in the same or worse position in a few years, speaking from experience there!

If you decide that your going to clear his debt, he needs to default for at least 3/4 months and ALL cards and loans, then you can clear them completely and make sure you cancel ALL the agreements afterwards.

By defaulting for 4 months, this should knacker any chance of getting credit for the next 6 years. This should make him spend what he earns only and not rely on credit and hopefully learn that way.

Good luck with whatever you do.

meg72

spire1 wrote: »

Hi
Would love some advice off anyone.My son has got himself into terrible debt.He took out a same day loan,well not one but several loans ,some time ago.Not sure how long ago he took them out but debt agencies are involved now though non payment.I only found out by accident about all this as he has tried to hid this from my wife and me.We are at our wits end as the debt agencies are threating to come round to our house.He,s been back living at home for 10 months as he spilt up with is girlfriend because of his spending .He,s working but does not earn alot.(£175 a week).
We have found out that nearly all his wages goes on paying his debt,but it does not make a dint in them.He is ashamed of himself,that is why he has been trying to pay them back,We think he owes about £3000 maybe more.Im sorry if this thread is abit vague but we have only just found out and not got everything out of him yet.He,s been a stupid lad and would be easy to kick him out,but he,s our son and the debts not going to go away.Do we pay them off or do we leave him to sort it out .Also can the debt collectors force there way into my house and take anything to the value of what he owes.Many thanks in advance for any advice.
Regards concerned father.

No these are your sons debt not yours, so no one can force their way into your home to recover these.

Its a judgement call here, do you think if your bail himj out now he will learn from this or not, you know him best.

spire1

Thanks so much to everyone for replying.
He,s shown me all the letters today what he owes totaling £2700
I hoping that all of them.I having to trust him that it is.Everyone is a high interest payday type loan.He was so stupid he was taking out a loan just to pay another loan.He told how easy it was to get credit even when owed so much and couldnt afford to pay.Crazy.
I dont want to sound stupid and soft but how is it going to solve anything if his wages of £175 a week carnt cover his debts and they just add more interest all the time.Surly it will just spiral out of control and he will never be able to clear them.I know its all his own doing and should be taught a lesson,but wouldnt it be better if i paid the debts and he paid me £100 a week out of of his wages.Can you get it arranged for someone to get stopped money straight out of there wages straight into someones bank account?I am not loaded but thought this better than the loan companies bleeding him dry for ever .even more so now that debt agencies are involved.Thanks again

Ms_Chocaholic

spire1, i've never been in your position but as a parent, if I could afford it, I would do what you are thinking of doing, though I would up the payment to the maximum he can afford. If he earns £175 a week and pays you £100 per week to clear the debt, that would still leave him £300 in his pocket for a four week month.

Itismehonest

I'd be wary of paying off the debts yourself. You don't even really know how much is involved. Edit: was typing this as you posted.
He may have learned his lesson but you won't know that until it possibly happens again & he thinks "That's OK. Mum & Dad will pay the debts off like they did before".

Get him to CAB pronto (even if you have to go with him so you are sure he goes) & they will get someone to work things out with him.
Make sure that you charge him some bed & board (even if only a token amount) it's part of the learning process that he must realise one has to pay to live as well as pay off debts.

Good luck & don't worry. From what you have said the bailiffs won't be taking your stuff although they might come after anything that is his. Others here will, I'm sure, have the answer to what happens if this ever crops up but, if he gets himself officially sorted this shouldn't happen.

Apples2

A Quick word of warning.

If you do decide to pay the pdl companies off DO NOT USE YOUR DEBIT CARD.

If you do, and your son takes more loans, they WILL take payments from your card at any time. Give the cash to your son and let him pay them.

I maintain this is a bad idea to pay it for him though.

RobertoMoir

simon2010 wrote: »

The debts are Unsecure and in your sons name then you are ok and they cannot force there way into your home.

Yes

simon2010 wrote: »

If the debts have CCJ's attached (county court judgements) and he hasnt been paying them then this could be a different story.

No. No it really couldn't. If you'd stopped with the first half of your post you'd have been precisely right but this bit is incorrect.

A CCJ against the son does not give the bailiffs the right to force their way into his parents' house. In fact, not that its even slightly an issue in this case, a CCJ doesn't give the bailiffs the right to force their way into anything, anywhere, no matter who owns what, owes what, or who lives wherever.

RobertoMoir

spire1 wrote: »

Thanks so much to everyone for replying.
He,s shown me all the letters today what he owes totaling £2700
I hoping that all of them.I having to trust him that it is.Everyone is a high interest payday type loan.He was so stupid he was taking out a loan just to pay another loan.He told how easy it was to get credit even when owed so much and couldnt afford to pay.Crazy.

The question here - and its academic, it doesn't effect the debt really, certainly not in a way that would help him, is whether he lied on the application forms to get that debt. Don't bother to reply to that point or even think about it if you'd rather not but I'm interested in precisely how easy it is to "go off the rails" without telling lies (and/or leaving inconvenient truths out!) when applying for credit.

I dont want to sound stupid and soft but how is it going to solve anything if his wages of £175 a week carnt cover his debts and they just add more interest all the time.Surly it will just spiral out of control and he will never be able to clear them.

Perhaps he needs to learn how that his actions have consequences for him. In any case, he can enter into a debt management plan, he can go bankrupt (I'm not advocating that, just making the point that its not like you either pay the debt for him or he may as well go and squat in a ditch right now!). He does have options.

I know its all his own doing and should be taught a lesson,but wouldnt it be better if i paid the debts and he paid me £100 a week out of of his wages.

Well... that's ultimately your decision of course. One technical point though - see what Apples2 said about not using your payment details to pay for his debt to protect yourself if things go wrong again. That is very important.

If you must help him out on this basis then perhaps you need to loan him the money (get the fact that it is a loan in writing, by the way) and he needs to use it to pay the debt himself. Apart from anything else, this at least has some symbolic point of him having to do something and not just having it sorted out for him, if you see what I mean.

Can you get it arranged for someone to get stopped money straight out of there wages straight into someones bank account?

Yes. He can set up a standing order to pay you. He can also stop the order 5 minutes after its set up and there will be nothing you can do about that. You can't force him to do more than that really.

I am not loaded but thought this better than the loan companies bleeding him dry for ever .even more so now that debt agencies are involved.Thanks again

1. If they "bleed him dry forever" then this will be down to decisions he's made to stick his head in the sand rather than deal with his debt. I'm not preaching about "he shouldn't have done it in the first place" here, simply pointing out the strategies that I alluded to earlier for coping with debt.

2. When it comes to collecting debt, Debt Collectors have the following rights: Their right arm and their right leg (ok ok, and their right eye, etc, but the joke loses its impact if I go on...). In the unlikely event that a debt collector knocks on your door, tell them that they are trespassing and that you want them to leave. Then shut the door in their face and call the police if they don't leave. They have absolutely no "powers" if they call on you/him.

Your son should write to any debt collectors telling them that he will only deal with them in writing, then refuse to take any phonecalls etc. There's template letters for that kinda thing knocking about this site.

DCG1

Concerned father - reply
From a Practical Point; There is many people Im sure would be commenting on this and be very helpful and I have recieved help too. Also when I had debts the first thing I did was go to the Citizens Advice Bureau, they kept me right - AND they can help writing letters etc. Debt Collectors - are often inflated by their own importance - there is less that they can do - but make you believe they can. I dont correspondence with then unless I know exactly what my rights are! Hope your son and you will be OK