my other half insults me every day..

BitterAndTwisted

March2012 wrote: »

thanks for your input. i am mentally upset this evening and cant carry on. i have sent a text to his mum that i cant carry on like this and maybe they can help rehouse him. will see the text in the mornind i imagine. though they have this attitude you made your bed then you lie in it but i am not married so dont know if that applies!

I'm glad my post helped because I was very angry when I typed it.

I notice that you've mentioned your low self-esteem twice. That is not an excuse for his insults, and it is not a reason why you should tolerate his totally vile behaviour.

His housing is his responsibility and his problem to resolve. He is not married to you and you are not living in his house. You can ask him to leave any damned time you like and not he or anyone else can do anything about it. All you need to do is make up your mind that he's an appalling !!!!!! and he has to go before he destroys your life and the future well-being of your child. Precisely where he goes is not your concern. He does not deserve your concern! He can kip on a mate's sofa, his Mum's bed-room floor or on a bloody park-bench if he can't be a real man and sort out his own housing.

Get his stuff packed!

Tiddlywinks

March2012 wrote: »

thanks for your input. i am mentally upset this evening and cant carry on. i have sent a text to his mum that i cant carry on like this and maybe they can help rehouse him. will see the text in the mornign i imagine. though they have this attitude you made your bed then you lie in it but i am not married so dont know if that applies!

You sent a text? For something as important as discussing the breakdown of a relationship? Can't you talk to them, even if just over the phone?

VfM4meplse

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Get his stuff packed!

I would argue that this would be too helpful.

londonsurrey

March2012 wrote: »

i have sent a text to his mum that i cant carry on like this and maybe they can help rehouse him

I don't understand why you did that. If you want him out, just tell him. He's a grown man. Let him sort out his housing, whether he gets a flat, a mansion, dosses with a mate, or goes back to mummy, it's up to him to decide, and it's up to him to sort that out.

Your responsibility is to tell him what you want and to stick by it.
Don't take on extra responsibilities that aren't yours, they're distractions from what YOU have to do.


Addendum: Oops, just read BitterAndTwisted's posting. Sorry.

gibson123

You sound like you feel responsible for him, that you owe him and it's your job to look after him because he is more important than you and you child. He has got you believing this, get him out now before he takes the last of your energy and strength. You need time and space to recover yourself from this onslaught.

Trazy

Put a size 10 up his 4rse, get rid and rebuild your life and self esteem

bluebird

I know you will find this hard to do but read the advice given its all GOOD advice,do yourself justice and decide today is the day it ends.I wish you well and hope you find the courage to do the right thing.

Blue_Elephant

Two questions. Something I read somewhere on here that struck a chord with me

if this was happening to your (grown up) child instead of you, would that life be good enough for them?
If your child was behaving the way your OH is towards their own partner, would you find this acceptable?

If the answer is no, then don't make the child live with it.

Four_leaf_clover_2

I completely agree with blue elephant. Children notice and take in far more than we realise. Your child will be percieving the interaction and relationship you have as the norm. This will be what they will think all relationships are like and the best he/she can hope for as an adult.

You are being mentally abused. Do you walk on eggshells the whole time, are you questioning your every move? Can you do anything right in your partners eyes or is every little thing you do criticised and not good enough? Abuse escalates always, either the emotional abuse will get worse, will be directed at your child as well as you, it could even become physical abuse.

I have been where you are and suffered years of it. It will not get better. Walk away from this toxic relationship while you still can.

BitterAndTwisted

I NEED the OP to come back and tell us what's going on. I have a horrible feeling that having communicated this information to his family is going to take a very unfortunate turn. I do hope not, but he's a filthy, cowardly bully already.

She should get in touch with a women's aid group asap for some strength and courage to deal with this.